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Posted

OMG what is this, the '80s again?!

After his wife is brutally murdered, an ex-cop wages war against the Chinese triad, and becomes the protector of a very special little girl, the adopted daughter of the triad kingpin.

Yeah... Sure is.

Vostok 7

Posted

Damn. I used to love his and Seagal's late 80's/early 90's flicks. You can't TOUCH Kickboxer/Bloodsport and Marked For Death/Out For Justice.

I'm waiting for the day when one of their newest movie is called "STRAIGHT TO VIDEO".

:(

Posted
Damn. I used to love his and Seagal's late 80's/early 90's flicks. You can't TOUCH Kickboxer/Bloodsport and Marked For Death/Out For Justice.

I'm waiting for the day when one of their newest movie is called "STRAIGHT TO VIDEO".

:(

[segal] "I am not a violent man." *punches a bunch of people in the throat* [/segal]

Vostok 7

Posted

Ahh, good old Steven Seagal, AKA "Girdle Man"

Some of my fav movies of his:

Above the Plate

Out for Dinner

Hard to Fill

All You Can Eat Buffet Under Siege

Fire Down Below - After the double Grande Meal from Taco Bell

The Jiggle Man

And who can forget the many Mulletts of Jean Claude Van Dumme?

But the ultimate Cheesy Martial Arts Gaijin star of all time?.....

Micheal Dudikoff!

Posted
Wow, a $20M budget. Some actors got paid that much (or more) just doing 1 picture.

I would bet Jean Claude only walks away with just over a mill. He isn't worth much anymore.

Posted
the one with Dennis Rodman was better.... :p

The Colony? If it wasn't for that big fag Rodman... it wouldn't have been half bad. But its sequel.... theres no emoticon that would help me express how awful it was. <_<

Posted
the one with Dennis Rodman was better.... :p

The Colony? If it wasn't for that big fag Rodman... it wouldn't have been half bad. But its sequel.... theres no emoticon that would help me express how awful it was. <_<

was that the name? i forget...they made a sequel!? if any movie didn't warrant a sequel it was that one.....i hope they never get around to making the Knockoff Sequel... <_< :lol:

Posted
the one with Dennis Rodman was better.... :p

Double Team?

Speaking of Dennis Rodman. If it ISN'T about baskeball then NOTHING is better with Dennis Rodman. Ugh. :blink:

Posted
Ahh, good old Steven Seagal, AKA "Girdle Man"

Some of my fav movies of his:

Above the Plate

Out for Dinner

Hard to Fill

All You Can Eat Buffet Under Siege

Fire Down Below - After the double Grande Meal from Taco Bell

The Jiggle Man

And who can forget the many Mulletts of Jean Claude Van Dumme?

But the ultimate Cheesy Martial Arts Gaijin star of all time?.....

Micheal Dudikoff!

LOL.........funniest thing I've read in a while.

Used to like Seagal's early films, but gave up on him for good when he started using HK style wire-work in one of his movies.

Graham

Posted (edited)
I would bet Jean Claude only walks away with just over a mill.  He isn't worth much anymore.

..."just over a mill" he says---I'd gladly trade places with him and "work for peanuts" if that's the case.... :p

Edited by reddsun1
Posted
OMG what is this, the '80s again?!

Yeah... Sure is.

Vostok 7

What`s wrong with the 80`s !

Open up your loven arms, watch out here I come … You spin me right round – baby right round like a record baby right round round round ! :)

Posted

Naah...The best Gaijin Martial Artist is Ernie Reyes, Jr!

For a good Mark Dacascos picture, rent Drive. The action's sweet, and it has the chick from Just Married before she gotten too big for her own good

Posted
I would bet Jean Claude only walks away with just over a mill.  He isn't worth much anymore.

..."just over a mill" he says---I'd gladly trade places with him and "work for peanuts" if that's the case.... :p

Hey in the movie biz, that sucks... Keep in mind that may be all he makes in the next two years... So thats like a $500k salary per year, then you have to pay trainers and agents which cuts that in half. Then there is the fact that when you are a movie star you need to be seen at the proper events in Hollywood, you need to live the life of a movie star which in a less than $500k salary isn't really possible.

Posted

Heh.. the best thing about Seagal was that you could always throw in the cheeezy tagline "Steven Segal is -" before most of his films.

It's even funnier if you use Mechamaniac's list -

Above the Plate

Out for Dinner

Hard to Fill

All You Can Eat Buffet Under Siege

Fire Down Below - After the double Grande Meal from Taco Bell

The Jiggle Man

Still, I got no vote for Michael Dudikoff for action tool, I instead nominate the Perfect Weapon himself - Jeff Speakman!

Also, my favorite thing about Jean Claude wasn't about him, but they had a special on MTV called Fanatic years back. It was weird, basically they introduce a "star" to his/her "biggest fan ever". Basically, it was like "Hey, here's your stalker! Make nice!"

But the Jean Claude fan ran his own crappy dojo and only refered to Van Damme as "JCVD". That made me cry tears of pure laughter. I only refer to him as JCVD now. Or "Van Damage!" :p

Posted
...

Also, my favorite thing about Jean Claude wasn't about him, but they had a special on MTV called Fanatic years back. It was weird, basically they introduce a "star" to his/her "biggest fan ever". Basically, it was like "Hey, here's your stalker! Make nice!"

...

Ah. That is so sad. I imagine the guy probably sits in a dark room every night with a revolver in his mouth.

I must be strange but I thought in a campy kinda way he was entertaining. You guys can't tell me he was bad in Timecop. Yes I know that plot didn't make sense, but HE was good in it.

Of course keep in mind Blaine, I did love Raw Deal.

Posted (edited)
Maybe I'm showing my age but I always prefered Chuck Norris.

You mean Upchuck Nauseous? I hate him and his smarmy beard and fish lips SO MUCH.

:lol:

Vostok 7

Edited by Vostok 7
Posted

Bah, Bloodsport and Kickboxer are STILL two of my favorite movies.... with the possible exception of "Street Fighter", I haven't seen a Van Damme movie that I didn't enjoy on some level.

And JRock is on to something, Ernie Reyes Jr. could whip a little ass when he wanted to, I thought he was pretty good too.

Best Steven Segal Line: "Oh Vernon..... where are you Vernon??"

Posted
I must be strange but I thought in a campy kinda way he was entertaining. You guys can't tell me he was bad in Timecop. Yes I know that plot didn't make sense, but HE was good in it.

From the movie:

"What does the bottom of my boot say?"

"uhhh, Wolverine?"

"look again...."

It was a good movie

Posted
I must be strange but I thought in a campy kinda way he was entertaining. You guys can't tell me he was bad in Timecop. Yes I know that plot didn't make sense, but HE was good in it.

Admit it... it wasn't him but Mia Sara made that flick good!

The only movie he was good in was the best Die Hard clone - Sudden Death!

Posted
Maybe I'm showing my age but I always prefered Chuck Norris.

You mean Upchuck Nauseous? I hate him and his smarmy beard and fish lips SO MUCH.

:lol:

Vostok 7

I love Chuck Norris... I mean he had the best show ever...

Walker Tex: Ass Ranger!

OK. that was a comic strip I made up, but I gotta thank ol' Chuck for the idea.... :p

Posted
I must be strange but I thought in a campy kinda way he was entertaining.  You guys can't tell me he was bad in Timecop.  Yes I know that plot didn't make sense, but HE was good in it.

Admit it... it wasn't him but Mia Sara made that flick good!

The only movie he was good in was the best Die Hard clone - Sudden Death!

mia sara... yum! :lol:

vinnie

Posted

When I was younger, I used to love all those crappy movies.

Steven Seagal, despite being an absolute shithead and total dirtbag, hypocrite and all-round horrible person made some semi-entertaining movies. Above the Law was pretty cool to watch, and the fact he did Aikido rather than the generic Karate/Tae Kwon Do that everyone else did made him kind of unique in that aspect.

I used to watch Walker: Texas Ranger almost every week in grade school, despite how cheesy it was. Norris himself is a pretty interesting guy, my aunt bought me one of his books a couple of years ago. Plus he supposedly was friends with Bruce Lee, thats some points right there.

JCVD (haha :lol: ) was always my least favorite, his shtick seemed the less likeable of the three guys. Those Bloodsport (was it Bloodpsort? one of his shitty HK-based movies) was filmed in The Walled City, which gets a lot of cool points.

Frankly, most modern day Jet Li and Jackie Chan movies aren't that much better. Maybe in terms of production values, but Jet Li is so overrated and Jackie Chan needs to stop doing shitty Rushhour movies.

Posted

Timecop wasn't that bad. Rather enjoyable, actually.

Bloodsport was decent. The sequels... not so decent.

Ditto Universal Soldier.

One I rather enjoyed was Double Impact. More of an acting role, and I think he pulled it off rather believably.

Posted

I agree, Double Impact was pretty well done... one of the first movies I had seen where a single actor was able to do two roles on the screen at once.

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