Misa Hayase: White Reminiscences

[Gubaba]

AKA, I need motivation...

Okay, for the past few years, I've been working on the Misa novella. I finished My Fair Minmay in about six months, and I (foolishly) thought that the Misa book would take about the same amount of time.

Then I discovered that a full prose book takes a HELL of a lot longer than a book of scripts.

Anyway, I was doing pretty well on it, all things considered, until about six months ago, when I suddenly pooped out. I'm about thirty pages from the end, and have been for quite a while now. I look at the book, I sigh, and then I put it away. Part of it is that I'm overworked (in Japan, that's a given), but part of it is that I need more motivation to finish it. And I need deadlines.

So here's the prologue. In two weeks, I'll post Chapter One. Two weeks after that, I'll post Chapter Two. My hope is that this will give me a deadline firm enough to actually FINISH those last 30 pages, so I can move on to stuff like the Perfect Memory stories.

Anyway, here ya go. No illustrations (yet), but I hope you enjoy it!

Misa Prologue.pdf

EDIT: It's done. Full book HERE: http://depfile.com/tE8YKdH

Edited August 23, 2013 by Gubaba

[Saruta]

Thanks!

And where can I find your translation of My Fair Minmay?

[sketchley]

AKA, I need motivation...

(...) but part of it is that I need more motivation to finish it. And I need deadlines.

Motivation is hard to sustain at times... what works for me when it comes to Macross translations is how I perceive it - mainly it's translating to learn Japanese, with the resulting info in English being a by-product. Other times, it's getting that information into English just to get that info into English!

This may or may not work for you (dare I also mention the STAG approach to translating?). Nevertheless, you're 30 pages. It's time to buckle down and set yourself a goal - say 5 pages a week, and make time to achieve that goal.

Good luck!

[TheLoneWolf]

Back in the day, I never dreamed that these novellas would ever be translated into English. Thanks, Gubaba!

I did notice a very minor typo.

"Misa could that the Admiral’s room had sustained critical damage."

I assume it's supposed to be:

"Misa could see that the Admiral’s room had sustained critical damage."

And thanks for the footnotes. I can never get enough of them.

[Beltane70]

You can do it, Gubaba! I look forward to reading it!

[Dynaman]

Gubaba, excellent work! and thank you!

Got a question on one of your notes.

"A line from the Kabuki play Musume Dojoji. Prior to the 19th century, Japanese

aristocratic women and daughters of military officers dyed their teeth black when they

got married. [Translator’s note]"

Why did they dye their teeth black? What did it symbolize?

[jvmacross]

Thanks!

And a big thanks in general to anyone providing translation of Macross media! It is much appreciated.

[Murphy]

Awsome Thanks!

[Tochiro]

Gubaba, excellent work! and thank you!

Got a question on one of your notes.

Why did they dye their teeth black? What did it symbolize?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohaguro

[Dynaman]

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ohaguro

thanks for the link but it still didn't say what started the practice. My ancestors painted themselves blue so I guess it was just a thing...

[Gubaba]

Back in the day, I never dreamed that these novellas would ever be translated into English. Thanks, Gubaba!

I did notice a very minor typo.

"Misa could that the Admiral’s room had sustained critical damage."

I assume it's supposed to be:

"Misa could see that the Admiral’s room had sustained critical damage."

Oops! Thanks!

[Marzan]

Thanks Gubaba. Really appreciate the effort you're doing to bring this to us.

I do a fair bit of translation work myself so I know how incredibly hard it can be at times. Setting yourself a realistic weekly target and sticking to it is what works for me.

[Gubaba]

Motivation is hard to sustain at times... what works for me when it comes to Macross translations is how I perceive it - mainly it's translating to learn Japanese, with the resulting info in English being a by-product. Other times, it's getting that information into English just to get that info into English!

This may or may not work for you (dare I also mention the STAG approach to translating?). Nevertheless, you're 30 pages. It's time to buckle down and set yourself a goal - say 5 pages a week, and make time to achieve that goal.

Good luck!

The few Chronicles pages that I've translated were maddening, but easier, in a way. The vocab was MUCH more difficult, but at least they were relatively short. When I find myself ten pages into a chapter, with twenty more pages to go before I hit a clear break in the narrative, it gets tough.

It also doesn't help that I work wildly different hours day to day. When I was doing "My Fair Minmay," it was simple. I worked eight-to-five, then went to a coffee shop and translated for two hours, pretty much every day.

And it ALSO doesn't help that my massive kanji dictionary had to be left in the US, leaving me to the tender mercies of online guides, which (for me at least) take longer to use and are much less helpful.

Thanks!

And where can I find your translation of My Fair Minmay?

I'll do you a few better. I took all my Macross translations and cleared up all (I think...) of the persistent typos.

Here's "My Fair Minmay":

My Fair Minmay(v3).pdf

Here's Chapter One of the SDF Macross novelization:

Before the Launch(v2).pdf

(After careful consideration, I decided not to continue with the rest of the books, as they're really just the episode scripts with some minimal description thrown in, rather than real "novels.")

Here's the script for "Miss DJ":

Miss DJ(v2).pdf

And here's the script and liner notes for "Snow Falling in the Galaxy":

Macross White Christmas.pdf

Snow Falling in the Galaxy(v2).pdf

[sketchley]

The few Chronicles pages that I've translated were maddening, but easier, in a way. The vocab was MUCH more difficult, but at least they were relatively short. When I find myself ten pages into a chapter, with twenty more pages to go before I hit a clear break in the narrative, it gets tough.

That is very true. Which is why I stay away from translating novels. That said, even though there's no clear breaks in a narrative, you can still stop at the top of the next page (when this happens to me, after translating the line into English, I save it in Japanese as a note to self. A bookmark if you will.)

It also doesn't help that I work wildly different hours day to day. When I was doing "My Fair Minmay," it was simple. I worked eight-to-five, then went to a coffee shop and translated for two hours, pretty much every day.

Nods. It's hard to make (let alone keep) a schedule with an inconsistent work schedule. Just do your best.

And it ALSO doesn't help that my massive kanji dictionary had to be left in the US, leaving me to the tender mercies of online guides, which (for me at least) take longer to use and are much less helpful.

Use the Hand Writing Input part of the Japanese IME. See: http://users.wfu.edu/yipcw/atg/ime/boxed-input.html

(I've got J Win on my PC, which is different than the example in the linky. If you're like me, then selecting the "IMEパッド" icon in the IME bar will directly summon it.

From there, you'll be able to access all kinds of resources (E.g.: the list of resources under tools here: http://sketchleystats.webatu.com/Trans/index.php ). Nowadays, I rely more on Goo (easiest way to access their Eng/Jap dictionary is to just search for "意味 + term you're looking up", and select the one that pops up.

Installing Perapera-kun (Firefox, Chrome) also speeds things up for the majority of everyday terms: http://www.perapera.org/

Hopefully some of those suggestions will speed things up for you (Ie no more searching through online guides, just go straight to the 和英 entry).

[Saruta]

Thanks. A. LOT.

This is a golden source for background material, which is very much needed for fan fiction

[Gubaba]

Thanks. A. LOT.

This is a golden source for background material, which is very much needed for fan fiction

Er... that wasn't really what I was hoping for when I translated this stuff (no offense, but I've yet to find any Macross fanfics that I thought were any good... including (I hasten to add) my own...), but, ummm... rock on wit' your bad self.

[Saruta]

Not to worry, Gubaba. My stuff is actually in Russian (I'm originally from there) so it won't contaminate your information landscape Besides, I'm trying to do my research properly, so hopefully it won't suck AS much as the average piece of fan fiction.

Edited May 25, 2013 by Saruta

[Gubaba]

Not to worry, Gubaba. My stuff is actually in Russian (I'm originally from there) so it won't contaminate your information landscape Besides, I'm trying to do my research properly, so hopefully it won't suck AS much as the average piece of fan fiction.

My FRIENDLY advice: the three big pitfalls of Macross fanfic are 1) "Let's make the girl and guy I like get together, and that'll be the whole story!" 2) "Let's make everything more REAL and MILITARY!!!" and 3) "Let's add an insert-character into the story and have that character interact with the bridge crew!"

If you can avoid all three of those cliches, you might be on to something. (Sorry, I'm TRYING to be positive, here!)

Edited May 25, 2013 by Gubaba

[Gubaba]

Week 1 Progress Report: Thinking that Sketchley's suggested pace of five pages a week might be too much for me, I decided on trying to maintain four pages a week, which would find me finishing in about seven or eight weeks. However, this week, I've managed more than five pages already.

If I keep going at this rate, I give Misa's mom about a week to live...

EDIT: Incidentally, in rereading what I'd already translated in order to remind myself what was going on in the book, I think I figured out why my work on it had slowed to a crawl. I'm INTENSELY dissatisfied with my translation. Ohnogi has a rather florid prose style, with an eye for some strange images, and I'm finding it beyond my abilities to do an accurate translation that sounds natural in English. As such, I'm opting for accurate over natural, which leaves the book sounding stiffer and more awkward in English than it does in Japanese. I tend to be a perfectionist, and after pages and pages AND PAGES of writing that I felt was half-assed (because it sounded awkward), I think I just got frustrated enough to put the book down.

Still, my sister always used to tell me, "Some things are worth doing badly," and I'm trying to take that as my maxim here.

Edited May 29, 2013 by Gubaba

[sketchley]

Week 1 Progress Report: Thinking that Sketchley's suggested pace of five pages a week might be too much for me, I decided on trying to maintain four pages a week, which would find me finishing in about seven or eight weeks. However, this week, I've managed more than five pages already.

Excellent. It was a number of the top of my head that seemed doable (1 page per day + breaks), and I'm glad it worked out.

I'm INTENSELY dissatisfied with my translation. Ohnogi has a rather florid prose style, with an eye for some strange images, and I'm finding it beyond my abilities to do an accurate translation that sounds natural in English. As such, I'm opting for accurate over natural, which leaves the book sounding stiffer and more awkward in English than it does in Japanese. I tend to be a perfectionist, and after pages and pages AND PAGES of writing that I felt was half-assed (because it sounded awkward), I think I just got frustrated enough to put the book down.

I think your sister is right... sometimes being a perfectionist actually prevents something from ever being completed.

There are 2 options you have: leave it as is (which is great as you'll get it done all that much faster) or hoover the worst passages and spit out something more readable in English (the challenge is deciding what passages are passable and what must be fixed).

The only tricks I can suggest are:

- don't be afraid to break those monster multi-clause run-on sentences into bite sized ones (convey the idea more than the drama from the sentence structure)

- about 50% of the meaning gets lost in translation. No matter what we do, the translation is going to be nothing more than an approximation of the original (or: there's no such thing as a perfect translation).

- be decisive: pick the English word that you think best fits the context, and don't look back (second guessing a translation just makes it take all that much longer to finish the whole thing).

Ultimately, you're not getting paid by us to do it. As such, it really doesn't matter what translation you end up producing. I think keeping that in mind should alleviate those concerns about capturing Ohnogi's literary style and things getting lost in translation. When you get paid to do it, that's when you can fret about those things.

Edited May 29, 2013 by sketchley

[Gubaba]

Excellent. It was a number of the top of my head that seemed doable (1 page per day + breaks), and I'm glad it worked out.

I think your sister is right... sometimes being a perfectionist actually prevents something from ever being completed.

There are 2 options you have: leave it as is (which is great as you'll get it done all that much faster) or hoover the worst passages and spit out something more readable in English (the challenge is deciding what passages are passable and what must be fixed).

The only tricks I can suggest are:

- don't be afraid to break those monster multi-clause run-on sentences into bite sized ones (convey the idea more than the drama from the sentence structure)

- about 50% of the meaning gets lost in translation. No matter what we do, the translation is going to be nothing more than an approximation of the original (or: there's no such thing as a perfect translation).

- be decisive: pick the English word that you think best fits the context, and don't look back (second guessing a translation just makes it take all that much longer to finish the whole thing).

Ultimately, you're not getting paid by us to do it. As such, it really doesn't matter what translation you end up producing. I think keeping that in mind should alleviate those concerns about capturing Ohnogi's literary style and things getting lost in translation. When you get paid to do it, that's when you can fret about those things.

I appreciate your help and encouragement (Honestly!)... but really... please stop treating me like a n00b.

I've already translated one complete book and two drama albums, with a few more (books AND drama albums) nearly completed (some more nearly than others).

I've probably translated more Macross pages than you have, overall... so again, your input is DEFINITELY appreciated, but I know the basics. Really.

[sketchley]

Eh? My bad. The post may have been in responding to you, but it was also aimed at other readers - so I guess I was a little overzealous in future proofing it this time.

Edited July 8, 2013 by sketchley

[TheLoneWolf]

I'm INTENSELY dissatisfied with my translation. Ohnogi has a rather florid prose style, with an eye for some strange images, and I'm finding it beyond my abilities to do an accurate translation that sounds natural in English. As such, I'm opting for accurate over natural, which leaves the book sounding stiffer and more awkward in English than it does in Japanese. I tend to be a perfectionist, and after pages and pages AND PAGES of writing that I felt was half-assed (because it sounded awkward), I think I just got frustrated enough to put the book down.

How about this for an idea. Use the more natural sounding translation in the main body of the page(s), but in the footnotes, show the accurate/awkward translation and the reasoning behind your modifications. I've read historical books where literally half the pages are nothing but footnotes explaining the translation variances and context, and I positively loved it. To me, it demonstrates the translator's appreciation for the original source material, and at the same time, I feel like it treats me as if I'm a sophisticated reader. Obviously, there will be some who don't care for the footnotes, but I don't think it would mar their reading experience since they can just skip the footnotes and carry on with the story.

[Gubaba]

Eh? My bad. The post may have been in responding to you, but it was also aimed at other readers - so I guess I was a little overzealous in future proofing it this time.

Again, sorry... it's my fault for not being clear enough... and then blowing up when it gets to be too much. I'm just acting like a Japanese girlfriend... don't mind me.

How about this for an idea. Use the more natural sounding translation in the main body of the page(s), but in the footnotes, show the accurate/awkward translation and the reasoning behind your modifications. I've read historical books where literally half the pages are nothing but footnotes explaining the translation variances and context, and I positively loved it. To me, it demonstrates the translator's appreciation for the original source material, and at the same time, I feel like it treats me as if I'm a sophisticated reader. Obviously, there will be some who don't care for the footnotes, but I don't think it would mar their reading experience since they can just skip the footnotes and carry on with the story.

I wish I could. Honestly, I wish I could just rewrite the book... same events, different prose style. What you're proposing would be similar: two separate books. And my plate is full enough as it is.

[Gubaba]

Misa's mom just died. You heard it here first, folks.

[VF5SS]

Main characters can never have both parents alive.

[Gubaba]

It's a day early, but here's Chapter 1 of the book.

Misa Chapter 1.pdf

I hope it reads okay...

And I finished five more pages this week. Fewer than twenty left... Again, if I can keep this pace, I should be done by early next month.

EDIT: A yes-I-know correction... the last line of Page 3 should read, "...the Commodore wasn't through scolding her."

Edited June 5, 2013 by Gubaba

[sketchley]

The 頑張れ、頑張れ girls cheer you on!

EDIT: I have no idea who they are... was looking for an image of a mother or classmates cheering a kid on at an 運動会 but nothing came up on Youtube except bad videos of this group singing...

Edited June 5, 2013 by sketchley

[Gubaba]

The 頑張れ、頑張れ girls cheer you on!

Would've preferred MomoClo, but that works, too.

[TheLoneWolf]

Keep up the good work!

[Gubaba]

Progress report week 3: Only four pages. If I really bust my butt, I might be able to get one more page done today, but either way, I'm still ahead of schedule.

EDIT: Made it. Five pages this week.

Currently on page 125 of Japanese book... Gettin' close now!

Edited June 12, 2013 by Gubaba

[acerosangrante]

Progress report week 3: Only four pages. If I really bust my butt, I might be able to get one more page done today, but either way, I'm still ahead of schedule.

EDIT: Made it. Five pages this week.

Currently on page 125 of Japanese book... Gettin' close now!

you could upload the original japanese file?

Please

thank you

[sketchley]

@ acerosangrante:

When did book stop meaning words printed on paper that are bound and glued between thicker paper and sold at a bookstore?

[Marzan]

@ acerosangrante:

When did book stop meaning words printed on paper that are bound and glued between thicker paper and sold at a bookstore?

About the same time as the younger generations started looking at one inquisitively when one mentioned the possibility of purchasing an 'album' instead of downloading the songs one liked best.

In any case, it's a tad disrespectful for Gubaba to ask him for the original, when he's spending so much time working on a translation that he then gives out for free.

[Tochiro]

you could upload the original japanese file?

Please

thank you

There's a few second hand sellers offering it on Amazon Japan and it isn't that expensive.

http://www.amazon.co.jp/gp/aw/d/4196695191/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1371462064&sr=8-1π=SL75