Worst Science Fiction Film of All Time II: The Quickening

[areaseven]

The original thread may be locked, but there will never be an end to the debate. Whether it's Battlefield Earth, Highlander II, G-Saviour or anything directed by Uwe Boll or produced by The Asylum, we'll always have our arguments over which is the worst science fiction movie of all time.

To start things off, let's play a little game called Bad Movie Night, which was inspired by my own experience. Over a decade ago, my old roommate kept on telling me that Wild Wild West was the worst movie ever made. I hadn't seen the movie, but as bad as the reviews were, I disagreed with him. So we did a bad movie challenge. He had me watch Wild Wild West, while I made him watch a bad movie of my choice.

I made him watch Disney's Inspector Gadget.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhC2bqVxoA4

A week later, he demanded a rematch. He had me watch I Got the Hook Up. So it was a typical rap movie, but not as bad as he said it was. And it made me feel bad because I made him watch Steel.

Round 3 came, and he challenged me to watch Cyborg. At this point, I wasn't sure if he was trying at all or his movie pain threshold was just really low. Needless to say, my challenge to him for round 3 was the 1990 Captain America movie.

We did one final round because he wanted me to watch The Wizard. You know, that theatrical Nintendo commercial with the Power Glove and Super Mario Bros. 3. I ended the round with Robotech II: The Sentinels.

So with this in mind, if you were to challenge a friend to Bad Movie Night, what three movies would you make them watch that would guarantee you a win (provided they haven't seen them yet)? And what would you wager (whether it's a buck or a drink)? Edited October 5, 2015 by areaseven

[F-ZeroOne]

1) Prince of Space: early black-and-white Japanese superhero/Power Ranger-type movie.

2) Golgo 13 (the movie from the 1980s). When a fully nekkid woman is swimming across the screen and your entire attention is diverted to wondering how they did the water reflections then theres got to be something wrong with the film.

3) Star Trek: The Motion Picture. The SFX are excellent (for the period). The plot, on the other hand... its entertainment, Jim, but not as we know it.

What would I wager? Uh, a drink I guess. They'd have to choose, I don't drink alcohol...

Edited May 28, 2012 by F-ZeroOne

[Ghost Train]

3) Star Trek: The Motion Picture. The SFX are excellent (for the period). The plot, on the other hand... its entertainment, Jim, but not as we know it.

You really can't beat Star Trek V in this category. Really crap script, generic Klingon adversary, and major departures from canon (why did the Enterprise A's corridors look just like the -D)...?

The poor whales rescued from Star Trek IV after seeing this film collectively committed suicide and beached themselves in front of Starfleet HQ in San Francisco as an act of protest.

[anime52k8]

I still think Star Trek III was far worth than TMP or V.

[Keith]

All afodementioned ST movies have classic qualities protecting them from "worst movie" status, even ST:Operafion Data's Suicide aka "Nemesis."

Real ferrible movies would be more akin to just about anything made by syfy. Hrere are three of my choices:

-Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

-E.Y.E.S of Mars

-Some movie I can't remember the name of that was so low budget that it used stock footage of BSG for all its effects shots.

honorable mention also goes to Ice Pirates and Batle Beyond the Stars for being way too easy targets.

[areaseven]

As I mentioned earlier, I can beat anyone in this challenge with Inspector Gadget, Steel, and Captain America (1990). Here's an extra set of bad movies that will guarantee a win:

1. The King of Fighters - Undoubtedly the Battlefield Earth of video game movies, this has absolutely nothing to do with the SNK-Playmore game franchise (other than the character names) and it actually beats all Uwe Boll films in every category.

2. Resiklo - The Philippines' sad attempt at a mecha sci-fi film. The title itself means "recycle", and that's exactly what it does: recycle plots from Battlefield Earth and a dozen other films, as well as mecha designs from Mechwarrior. Without a doubt, this movie belongs in the recycle bin.

3. The Time Machine - The 2002 adaptation of H. G. Wells' classic novel directed by his great-grandson Simon Wells (and partially by Gore Verbinski) was a big-budget disaster. The storyline was crap, the acting was crap and even at 96 minutes, it felt like three dragging hours.

[GU-11]

Yeah, I agree on King of Fighters.

I made it through half the movie, but couldn't go through another minute of it. It was actually worse than SF: Chun-Li.

[Noriko Takaya]

Here are three of them:

2012

Battle Beyond the Stars

Howard the Duck

[anime52k8]

-Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

I liked sky Captain.

:edit:

2012

2012 was an awesome movie. It was totally stupid and nonsensical, but it was still awesome.

Also, 2003's The Core, worst disaster movie ever. Can we just make it a rule that any movie that uses the word 'Unobtainium' at any point automatically qualifies for this list?

Edited May 29, 2012 by anime52k8

[areaseven]

Also, 2003's The Core, worst disaster movie ever.

Worse than Volcano (1997)?

[BeyondTheGrave]

Tornado (1996)

Only redeeming factors Bruce Campbell and Ernie Hudson

[Gubaba]

Worse than Volcano (1997)?

Volcano at least had Tommy Lee Jones being Tommy Lee Jones. And unlike, say, Dante's Peak, Volcano had a ton of lava...which is, y'know, what people want out of a Volcano movie.

That said, I found it odd that there were no Hispanics in the movie anywhere...

Anyway, my choice is Invasion from Inner Earth, which most people will never see, but which I once caught on afternoon TV. It was wretched.

[Jefuemon]

Mortal Kombat 2.

I'll go on record in saying I enjoyed MK1. As far as video game adaptations go, it was pretty good. Part 2 just sucked so bad, though. I remember the ad campaign, and all the cool characters they showed who were going to be in it.

Oh, they were all there-for about 3 minutes at a time, and for no real reason at all. It's been the only movie I've seen in theaters that I almost walked out on (thinking back on it, I really should have).

[Keith]

I don't see how anyone could like Sky Captain. Aside from the ending "twist" being telegraphed from the first minute of the film (i.e. the mad scientist is actually dead and his machiens are running amok), it was like watching Flash Gordon without any of the redeeming camp.

[areaseven]

Mortal Kombat 2.

I'll go on record in saying I enjoyed MK1. As far as video game adaptations go, it was pretty good. Part 2 just sucked so bad, though. I remember the ad campaign, and all the cool characters they showed who were going to be in it.

Oh, they were all there-for about 3 minutes at a time, and for no real reason at all. It's been the only movie I've seen in theaters that I almost walked out on (thinking back on it, I really should have).

Try watching The King of Fighters and tell us if you still think Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is the worst.

I don't see how anyone could like Sky Captain. Aside from the ending "twist" being telegraphed from the first minute of the film (i.e. the mad scientist is actually dead and his machines are running amok), it was like watching Flash Gordon without any of the redeeming camp.

I think I mentioned on the previous thread that Sky Captain tried too hard to be an homage to the serials of the 1930s and 1940s, except it forgot that serials are only supposed to run around 15 minutes. Also, I still don't get how the movie cost over US$70 million to make if it was done entirely in a digital backlot (Angelina Jolie wasn't that expensive at the time) and the CG looks no different from PlayStation 2 graphics (at least on a Blu-ray copy I rented, which means the movie has not aged very well).

[Keith]

I think I mentioned on the previous thread that Sky Captain tried too hard to be an homage to the serials of the 1930s and 1940s, except it forgot that serials are only supposed to run around 15 minutes. Also, I still don't get how the movie cost over US$70 million to make if it was done entirely in a digital backlot (Angelina Jolie wasn't that expensive at the time) and the CG looks no different from PlayStation 2 graphics (at least on a Blu-ray copy I rented, which means the movie has not aged very well).

Where'd the 70 million go? You ever see "The Producers"

Edited May 29, 2012 by Keith

[Dynaman]

-Some movie I can't remember the name of that was so low budget that it used stock footage of BSG for all its effects shots.

Space Mutiny. I've only ever seen it in MST3K version. I was LMAO through the thing.

Captain Santa Claus - "Everyone Look lively!"

Bot - "But she's dead."

My worst list would be

Space Mutiny

Liquid Sky

Manos the Hands of Fate.

[renegadeleader1]

I would like to nominate The Faculty. Remember kids doing crack is not only a great way to get high, but it will help you fight space aliens! The only thing redeeming about it is Famke Janssen plays the sterotypical "hot teacher".

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Faculty#section_1

Good god this film needs to be MST3K'd.

[Gubaba]

Space Mutiny. I've only ever seen it in MST3K version. I was LMAO through the thing.

Captain Santa Claus - "Everyone Look lively!"

Bot - "But she's dead."

My worst list would be

Space Mutiny

Liquid Sky

Manos the Hands of Fate.

"Manos" is hard to argue with, but I actually liked "Liquid Sky"...totally NOT what I was expecting.

But hey, if we're counting "Space Mutiny," what about "Turkish Star Wars"...? That was pretty terrible...

[DarrinG]

This might not rate, but I had to watch Journey to the Center of the Earth (with Brenden Fraser) last night with my kids.

Is HORRIFIC a word?

[Dynaman]

"Manos" is hard to argue with, but I actually liked "Liquid Sky"...totally NOT what I was expecting.

I know what you mean, I was expecting a movie...

But hey, if we're counting "Space Mutiny," what about "Turkish Star Wars"...? That was pretty terrible...

I did not vote for things I have never seen, I admit to starting to watch that once, but it is SOOOO bad I can not vote for it, for I shall never ever watch it.

EDIT - Special Mention must go to "Laser Blast", which Leonard Maltin gave 3 stars in his movie review - the MST3K crew had a whole segment listing movies that were far better which LM gave 2 stars...

Edited May 29, 2012 by Dynaman

[areaseven]

Very solid choices I see, but are half of them still available at rental stores?

Anyway, here are some other lethal shots of poison:

1. Double Dragon - This was the undisputed worst fighting game movie ever made until The King of Failures showed up. It still makes Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li look like Goodfellas. Hell, if you're a masochist, watch it right now on YouTube.

2. Fist of the North Star (1995) - The worst adaptation of a martial arts manga ever (maybe next to Dragonball: Evolution). Don't believe me? Then knock yourself out.

3. G-Saviour - It was horrid enough for Yoshiyuki Tomino to walk out of the theater during its premiere night in Tokyo. As a matter of fact, you can actually watch it in full on YouTube because nobody wants to file a copyright claim on it.

[Mommar]

Manos the Hands of Fate.

I feel Hobgoblin was a far worse movie than Manos to be honest.

[Dynaman]

I feel Hobgoblin was a far worse movie than Manos to be honest.

The Master will not be pleased with you. Hobgoblins was bad, but I'd still have to give the (slight) edge to Manos.

[F-ZeroOne]

I liked sky Captain.

:edit:

So did I. I'll admit that the actors weren't well chosen, other than Angelia Jolie...

I've probably been a bit harsh on "Star Trek: The Motion Picture", but its probably because I only saw it all the way through for the first time a couple of days ago and its fresher in my mind than "Star Trek: V".

[Penguin]

If I tried to do a "Bad Movie Night" with my friends, I think my experience would be the same as A7's. My friends have such varied tastes I don't know that I could reliably inflict bad movie pain on them. If I think of 3 movies I will never, ever, watch again, Cabin Fever, Mortal Kombat 2, and Cutthroat Island come to mind, but I'm sure someone here thinks tolerably(if not fondly) of one or more of those.

[areaseven]

I will admit that I have lost one round of Bad Movie Night, but it was more of a Wild Card. I got dragged into watching Jason X with my friends on premiere night. Worst $8.00 I ever spent in my life. That reminds me - I should add that to my Bad Movie Night arsenal.

[BeyondTheGrave]

Highlander the source.

[ron5864]

I think I mentioned on the previous thread that Sky Captain tried too hard to be an homage to the serials of the 1930s and 1940s, except it forgot that serials are only supposed to run around 15 minutes. Also, I still don't get how the movie cost over US$70 million to make if it was done entirely in a digital backlot

I thought the artwork and effects in The Last Exile was better even thought that was an anime and not live action. Both had that steam punk-ish theme.

[areaseven]

By all means, I don't consider Sky Captain to be one of the worst movies ever made. It's just a disappointing movie.

Jumper, on the other hand...

[dizman]

Most of the movies shown on MST3K easily qualify as worst of the worst. Doom is the worst recent sci-fi movie that pops up in my mind.

[areaseven]

I guess I should nominate Bunraku as not just one of the worst sci-fi movies of all time, but also a perfect cure for insomnia.

[BeyondTheGrave]

Jumper, on the other hand...

But it has Samuel L Jackson in it.

Also the video above that is the good version.

Edited May 30, 2012 by BeyondTheGrave

[areaseven]

But it has Samuel L Jackson in it.

He was also in xXx: State of the Union, but does anyone even like that movie?

[anime52k8]

I don't actually think this qualifies as all time worst material, but I want to give it an honorable mention because I just watched it: the 1998 American Godzilla film.