Burn in hell, Michael Bay. (The TMNT live action film)

[mechaninac]

Let's face it, the three original movies for the '90s were utter crap, but they had one redeeming quality: The titled characters looked like themselves, or at least very close to their depiction in the cartoon of the period -- to familiar with how they were drawn in the comics. Bay's reboot turtles look like ogres... excluding the trumpet ears and bulbous nose, and the inclusion of the shells, they all look like Shrek!

[derex3592]

ohhh maaaan...the GF wants to go see this. She's younger than me and watched them growing up. I was past TMNT when they came out...Hmmm...Maaaaybe I can work this to my advantage to get her to at least give like Macross Plus a try..

[DuelGundam2099]

Go Derex go Derex go!

[areaseven]

[kanedaestes]

I just got back from it. It's better than most of the Transformers movie franchise. You may be entertained (I was) but you will groan constantly at plot, contrived origins, and the other usual Bay-bs. Megan did better here than any other of her movies. I will say that the thing that surprised me most was Shredder. While he has been Bay converted he wwas still a great threat, not a robot, and legitimately fought hand to hand and not throw knives. His combat scenes make the movie for me.

[reddsun1]

Meh.

Edward Scissorhands called. Said: get off his nutsack...

[Tking22]

Just got back from my 7:30 showing, I loved it, haters gonna hate. The Turtles were badass, Shredder was badass, Splinter was badass, the comedy was surprisingly tasteful, some stuff like the crushing on April drags a bit, but overall well done. The Turtles banter was spot on, I liked the voice actors, aside from some really obvious holes and cliches in the story I liked it, it was exactly what I wanted from a rebooted Turtles franchise, lots of call backs to the classic material both comic and cartoon, and the designs grew on me. Also, Shredder killed it, did I mention he was badass? I was also surprised to see a certain female Foot-Clan elite that I had heard no mention of before-hand, she didn't do much unfortunately, but still a cool nod to the recent series on Nick.

Edited August 8, 2014 by Tking22

[renegadeleader1]

I'll wait for the torrent to come out......then maybe download it and watch it when I'm really desperate.

Even if when Bay starts directing porn, and Megan Fox fulfills her TRUE destiny, I wouldn't willingly watch his films.......well, I might have a peek, as long as he doesn't do any close ups of her weird thumbs.

Bay starts directing porn? Bay originally got into the film industry shooting hardcore porn, Playboy videos, and other Skinimax smut.

Let's face it, the three original movies for the '90s were utter crap

No, the first one actually is a pretty entertaining film up there with Big Trouble in Little China.

Edited August 8, 2014 by renegadeleader1

[mechaninac]

No, the first one actually is a pretty entertaining film...

I'll admit the the first one was at least mildly entertaining, but since I have ZERO nostalgia attached to TMNT, cartoon(s) or movies, I think they were all garbage, more so for the second movie which was Guyver LAM silly, and specially the third which was unwatchable.

...up there with Big Trouble in Little China.

No. Just NO!

Edited August 8, 2014 by mechaninac

[skullmilitia]

First movie was good, second was stupid but had some great lines. Third can stay unmentioned.

Still not seeing this. I've had enough Bay. He hasn't had a good produced or directed movie since The Rock.

Plus there is not enough alcohol allowed in a theater to be able to watch Fox's acting inabilities.

My TMNT died in the early 90's. That's what I loved, and I'm not gonna taint it.

[peter]

Bay starts directing porn? Bay originally got into the film industry shooting hardcore porn, Playboy videos, and other Skinimax smut.

No, the first one actually is a pretty entertaining film up there with Big Trouble in Little China.

Big Trouble Little China = 1980's Gold

First movie was good, second was stupid but had some great lines. Third can stay unmentioned.

Still not seeing this. I've had enough Bay. He hasn't had a good produced or directed movie since The Rock.

Plus there is not enough alcohol allowed in a theater to be able to watch Fox's acting inabilities.

My TMNT died in the early 90's. That's what I loved, and I'm not gonna taint it.

Alcohol and maybe some other mind altering substances would help, but like I said, waste of air until she's queued to open her mouth with a little bow-chiki-wow-wow.

[DuelGundam2099]

You could always do what I do and not care about acting.

[Scyla]

TMNT Review by Moviebob form The Escapist:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/escape-to-the-movies/9634-Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-Kids-Deserved-Better-Than-This?utm_source=latest&utm_medium=index_carousel&utm_campaign=all

Meh not gonna watch this one. 3 hours of TF4 was enough Bay for the rest of the year.

Edited August 8, 2014 by Scyla

[DuelGundam2099]

That entire review can be summed up as "if I talk fast enough and use sheeple logic complete with hiding behind the for-the-children card I will be totally credible."

[Hoptimus]

What grinds my gears is why such the crazy revamp? With the tech now they could have finally done the Turtles right. The 1989 movie was close for its day. A bit more serious than the cartoon but not as over the top as the comics. This one would have been great had the Turtles been their real size(around 4'10-5') if I remember correctly. That is what made them cool. They were small but could fight better than Shredder and the Footclan. Instead they are what 7' tall in this remake and look like Ogres. GAH. Get off my lawn.

[areaseven]

The bleeding continues as this film is now ranked lower than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 20%

[skullmilitia]

The bleeding continues as this film is now ranked lower than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 20%

Well now I know why DG likes it.

[DuelGundam2099]

I have not seen it yet. Also the RT scores having nothing to do with my own since I rarely agree on anything they say. In fact this is how I watch things (everyone take note):

1. Can I see everything going on? Does the lighting allow me to view everything without obstruction? Does it hurt? Answers must be yes, yes, and no.
2. Can I hear everything going on? Is everyone speaking in a way that is not too soft or loud? Does it hurt? Answers must be yes, yes, and no.
3. Does it stick to the genre like it should? If it has multiple genres what is the primary? Does the primary stick to any sequels? All three must be yes.
4. Setting > Plot > Characters as characters are like blood: Necessary, but easily replaceable.
5. 95% of the time the main protagonist lives to the end so no death or loss should be worried about.
6. Awards, criticism, and contribution to history does not make it better or worse.
7. All comparisons are to be made with other genre entries in the same budget range and decade.
8. Bad acting and dialogue do not exist as humans talk in a wide variety of manners across Earth.
9. It is fiction aka not real, do not attach yourself to anyone or anything at any point.
10. If the story does not finish such as unfulfilled cliffhangers it is not good by default, open ended does not mean unfinished.
11. Use logic over themes and in-universe explanations over behind the scenes or creators
12.Tropes, archetype, de/reconstructions, and the like do not exist, only over reactions do.
13. Metaphors and symbolism only exists if the creator(s) say(s) so, if it is required to understand it is not good by default.
14. Budgets, cast, and staff do not make it better or worse regardless of history, names in credits mean nothing.
15. Director styles do not exist, only coincidences in filmography.
16. Expanded universes are canon until they contradict or the owning company says otherwise, translation errors are not canon.
17. When sequels are made by others the original creators do not own it anymore rather the parent company does.
18. Humor has no guidelines, but cruelty is not comedy and will make it not good by default.
19. No sequel or prequel can be good if it ignores rules established by previous entries.
20. Sequels and prequels may rely on previous entries as they are continuations because that is what they are.
21. Actions speak louder than words, do not lower scores from a lack of talking unless it is lack of exposition.
22. Being good and being memorable are not mutually exclusive and bland is not bad unless it is extreme.
23. The story must have the primary focus on whatever is in the title, if not it is not good by default.
24. Plot holes only bring a story down when dealing with continuity errors, never character logic or coincidences.
25. Protagonists are not always heroes and vice verse and side characters are not supposed to be important.
26. Animal and human cruelty behind the scenes may lower the score.
27. Unless it demonizes, demeans, shows inferiority, or is hateful a stereotype is not racist and therefore not be placed against the story or character. Definition for the nay-sayers:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/racism?s=t&path=/

Edited August 9, 2014 by DuelGundam2099

[big F]

Well I've lucked out its not even showing in my area.

[Mommar]

18. Humor has no guidelines, but cruelty is not comedy and will make it not good by default.

If cruelty is not comedy then, by definition, you've put a guideline upon humor.

[peter]

You could always do what I do and not care about acting.

Well now I know why DG likes it.

It all makes sense now, haha!

[azrael]

Can't argue with the results...

1 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) $65,000,000

It posted $97,000,000 worldwide. Additionally, Paramount is scheduling TMNT 2 for June 3rd, 2016.

[Tking22]

Can't argue with the results...

1 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) $65,000,000

It posted $97,000,000 worldwide. Additionally, Paramount is scheduling TMNT 2 for June 3rd, 2016.

I'm in for a sequel, I enjoyed it. Maybe Hot Toys can give us some Turtles for the next film, I'm really selective about their releases because they're really spotty as far as QC goes, but I'd be in for all 4 if they made them, a Shredder too.

[ErikElvis]

I have yet to see the movie but I'm still in for some mcfarlaneesque turtle toys

[areaseven]

[Atharun]

Saw it last night with the Fiance. Not bad, I enjoyed it far more than any of the TFormer films. I do think the turtles and Shredder were over designed but the action and comedy weren't. For what it is, it was enjoyable. I did like how they made Spinlter a B.A. in his parts. I think if they clean up the turtle's designs in future movies, they may be fun to watch.

I would say this is probably the 2nd best live action TMNT film after the original 90 film.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Atharun

[DuelGundam2099]

After seeing this I can safely call it a fantastic movie. I was not planning on it, but I cannot find anything worth lowering the score so....

[Roy Focker]

I'm waiting for Redbox.

[Kanedas Bike]

I'm waiting for Redbox.

Bah, I'm waiting on the apocalypse. And then, only if I'm stuck in a house with Emma Watson, Seth Rogen, James Franco, Craig Ferguson and the cast from This Is the End.

I will say that I am honestly surprised at how many people have posted that they've enjoyed it and even more surprised at how much money it made at the box office.

I was wrong in my calling this a bomb, but I'm still not gonna watch this (unless above criteria is met).

-b.

[skullmilitia]

Bah, I'm waiting on the apocalypse. And then, only if I'm stuck in a house with Emma Watson, Seth Rogen, James Franco, Craig Ferguson and the cast from This Is the End.

I will say that I am honestly surprised at how many people have posted that they've enjoyed it and even more surprised at how much money it made at the box office.

I was wrong in my calling this a bomb, but I'm still not gonna watch this (unless above criteria is met).

-b.

I'm not, it only had to have a story that wasn't as badly put together as AOE and it would pull in the same crowd.

[big F]

Bah, I'm waiting on the apocalypse. And then, only if I'm stuck in a house with Emma Watson, Seth Rogen, James Franco, Craig Ferguson and the cast from This Is the End.

I will say that I am honestly surprised at how many people have posted that they've enjoyed it and even more surprised at how much money it made at the box office.

I was wrong in my calling this a bomb, but I'm still not gonna watch this (unless above criteria is met).

-b.

Well a friend of mine used to work with Emma so I could try and set that bit up but the rest of it including the world ending bits is down to you.

[Kanedas Bike]

Well a friend of mine used to work with Emma so I could try and set that bit up but the rest of it including the world ending bits is down to you.

Awesome! Well now I know what my plans for tonight are;

-b.

[skullmilitia]

Well a friend of mine used to work with Emma so I could try and set that bit up but the rest of it including the world ending bits is down to you.

By work I hope you mean giggidy.

[big F]

By work I hope you mean giggidy.

LOL no totally work, acting stuff lovies.

[VF-2SS-BloodPhoenix]

I just got back from it. It's better than most of the Transformers movie franchise. You may be entertained (I was) but you will groan constantly at plot, contrived origins, and the other usual Bay-bs. Megan did better here than any other of her movies. I will say that the thing that surprised me most was Shredder. While he has been Bay converted he wwas still a great threat, not a robot, and legitimately fought hand to hand and not throw knives. His combat scenes make the movie for me.

Her acting in this was exactly like Shia Labuffoon's acting in the TF movies. Like an ADD kid high on sugar and crack. There was barely any martial arts in this movie, just brute force with no brains.

First movie was good, second was stupid but had some great lines. Third can stay unmentioned.

Still not seeing this. I've had enough Bay. He hasn't had a good produced or directed movie since The Rock.

Plus there is not enough alcohol allowed in a theater to be able to watch Fox's acting inabilities.

My TMNT died in the early 90's. That's what I loved, and I'm not gonna taint it.

The major consensus, from most people familiar with the franchise since it's popularity, is exactly as you mentioned. The great thing with the first movie was that there was no plot, just a story that moved along. At least that's how it felt to me.

Big Trouble Little China = 1980's Gold

Alcohol and maybe some other mind altering substances would help, but like I said, waste of air until she's queued to open her mouth with a little bow-chiki-wow-wow.

With all the smart people on this forum (excluding me) and those super nerds out there (again, excluding me), there should be more gems, but every year there is always disappointment.

What grinds my gears is why such the crazy revamp? With the tech now they could have finally done the Turtles right. The 1989 movie was close for its day. A bit more serious than the cartoon but not as over the top as the comics. This one would have been great had the Turtles been their real size(around 4'10-5') if I remember correctly. That is what made them cool. They were small but could fight better than Shredder and the Footclan. Instead they are what 7' tall in this remake and look like Ogres. GAH. Get off my lawn.

The turtles were short. I remember when I was a kid and I saw their bios. They were roughly my height as a teenager, 5' 2" but had the strength of 10 humans.

Again, in this new iteration, they're just massive and brutal.