areaseven Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 (edited) Mega Shark Versus Giant OctopusThe Asylum, 2009Directed by Ace Hannah (a.k.a. Jack Perez, who directed Wild Things 2)Running Time: 90 minutesRated R for violence, mature situations, profanity and suggestive drug use on the part of The Asylum.CastDeborah Gibson as Dr. Emma MacNeilVic Chao as Prof. Seiji ShimadaSean Lawlor as Prof. Lamar SandersLorenzo Lamas as Allan BaxterSynopsisWhen oceanographer Emma MacNeil "borrows" a submarine to study whale migration off the coast of Alaska, a low-frequency sonar device is suddenly dropped by a military helicopter, causing the whales to go berserk and ram a nearby glacier. This incident unearths and awakens a Megalodon (a giant prehistoric shark) and a Giant Octopus from their 10-million-year suspended animation. All hell breaks loose, now that they're awake - whales are found mutilated everywhere, an oil rig in Japan is destroyed by the octopus in seconds and the shark defies physics by eating a 747 from 30,000 feet in the sky. After a failed attempt to corral both sea creatures in Tokyo Bay and San Francisco - resulting in the shark taking a bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge, Emma, along with her mentor Lamar Sanders and Japanese scientist Seiji Shimada, proposes to have the shark and octopus stage their "Thrilla in Manila" and kill each other off before they create any further damage.LowdownI know what you're thinking: What the hell am I doing reviewing a crappy B-movie? It's not like I've never done that before; after all, I did sit through the sci-fi abomination that is Resiklo. So what could possibly be worse than that?Well, the first indication to this film is that it's produced by The Asylum - the same people who brought us low-budget "mockbusters" like Transmorphers, AVH: Alien vs. Hunter, Snakes on a Train and The Terminators. Not a good start at all, right?Then comes the second indication: the cast. We all know that former soap opera star Lorenzo Lamas is pretty much washed out, but former teen idol Deborah Gibson in the lead role? She must be desperate, as her Playboy stint years ago was a disaster, and I've read that she recently sold her house.In typical B-movie fashion, the acting is atrocious, the storyline is riddled with plot loopholes you can jump your car through, and the CG effects are downright cheesy. So why, then, is Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus not reviewed as a bad movie? Well, it's simple: it's a movie so bad, it's actually good. The scene where the shark eats a 747 alone saves the whole movie. This film makes a perfect party piece if you're in the mood to laugh at something - whether or not you're smoking a joint on the side.In a nutshell, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is a bad movie that you'd actually want to show your friends. As long as there's enough booze in the house.Rating: B+ (if you're stoned); D+ (for everyone else)LinksOfficial Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus HomepageReferencesThe Internet Movie Database Edited February 11, 2014 by areaseven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VFTF1 Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Nice review I was hoping it'd be something like this I really wanna get this/see this at some point Pete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myk Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Then comes the second indication: the cast. We all know that former soap opera star Lorenzo Lamas is pretty much washed out, Ha, I'll never get enough of Lorenzo Lamas in his show Renegade. There's more laugh material if you ever need it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelsain Posted May 29, 2009 Share Posted May 29, 2009 Browsing through their website makes me hate myself a little bit... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonely Soldier Boy Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 This is gonna be a hit in Japan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
electric indigo Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 It just dawned upon me that the major plot idea is totally ripped off "Ice Age 2". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taksraven Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 Ha, I'll never get enough of Lorenzo Lamas in his show Renegade. There's more laugh material if you ever need it... Every time I hear the name Lorenzo Lamas I am taken here and its a nice place....... Taksraven gnite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gubaba Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 You make me want to see this, damn you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikuro Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Wow, that's just so wrong for a movie but atleast in some way it's original, horrible, but original. Now we know for nearly a fact that giant squid exist deep deep DEEP in the oceans, dunno about octopus though. And I remember there's been debate for sometime that Megalodon's still exist but possibly in very small numbers and are very deep underwater which isn't very natural for them seeing how much food they need to consume to stay alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eugimon Posted May 31, 2009 Share Posted May 31, 2009 Wow, that's just so wrong for a movie but atleast in some way it's original, horrible, but original. Now we know for nearly a fact that giant squid exist deep deep DEEP in the oceans, dunno about octopus though. And I remember there's been debate for sometime that Megalodon's still exist but possibly in very small numbers and are very deep underwater which isn't very natural for them seeing how much food they need to consume to stay alive. not really all that original either... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
areaseven Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 not really all that original either... *Snip* WTF? Sounds like a giant monster deathmatch marathon is coming soon on SciFi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
areaseven Posted June 1, 2009 Author Share Posted June 1, 2009 Here's another one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warmaker Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Shark Attack THREE + The GREATEST MOVIE LINE EVAR!!! (Not for the easily offended) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gubaba Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Shark Attack THREE + The GREATEST MOVIE LINE EVAR!!! (Not for the easily offended) It's even better in context...there has been NO, I repeat NO chemistry between the two characters at that point in the movie, and earlier that day, the guy's best friend got eaten by a shark the size of a luxury yacht. Nothing like tragedy to grant you instant charm and the ability to make witty, flirtatious banter! (Yes, I watched the whole movie. If you see the clip above, and all the clips of the shark eating boatloads of people, you don't need to see the rest.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anime52k8 Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Shark Attack THREE + The GREATEST MOVIE LINE EVAR!!! (Not for the easily offended) I'd also like to nomiate this movie for greatest (read most atrocious) use of stock footage EVER. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnIcLjNCu5U&NR=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenius Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 Wow, that's just so wrong for a movie but atleast in some way it's original, horrible, but original. Now we know for nearly a fact that giant squid exist deep deep DEEP in the oceans, dunno about octopus though. And I remember there's been debate for sometime that Megalodon's still exist but possibly in very small numbers and are very deep underwater which isn't very natural for them seeing how much food they need to consume to stay alive. It isn't really "debate" but more like a few crazy people clinging to the notion. There has also been some issues with accurately dating the teeth but usually that boils down to "is the tooth super old (30Million years) or just really old (2 to 3 million years)?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gubaba Posted June 1, 2009 Share Posted June 1, 2009 I'd also like to nomiate this movie for greatest (read most atrocious) use of stock footage EVER. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnIcLjNCu5U&NR=1 Yes...it just doesn't get any better than the haunting "jet-ski sequence," does it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpha OTS Posted June 4, 2009 Share Posted June 4, 2009 Just finished watching Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. It was pretty funny because of how bad it was. This movie was produced by Dean Learner and written by Garth Marenghi. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
areaseven Posted December 31, 2010 Author Share Posted December 31, 2010 Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus The Asylum, 2010 Directed by Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray Running Time: 90 minutes Rated R for graphic violence, profanity and suggestive drug use on the part of The Asylum. Cast Jaleel White (Sonic the Hedgehog, Steve Urkel in Family Matters) as Lt. Terry McCormick Gary Stretch (Cleitus in Alexander) as Nigel Putnam Sarah Lieving (Emergency technician in Lakeview Terrace) as Special Agent Hutchinson Robert Picardo (Robert McNamara in Call of Duty: Black Ops, The Doctor in Star Trek: Voyager) as Admiral Calvin Synopsis Deep in the jungles of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, a giant 1,500-foot crocodile emerges to terrorize everything in its path. Meanwhile, the Megalodon from Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus returns from the deep to once again lay waste on any naval vessel on the ocean. When both species cross paths off the coast of Florida, only a ragtag team consisting of Lt. Terry McCormick, Special Agent Hutchinson and freelance hunter Nigel Putnam can stop them from causing further destruction. Lowdown After the much-hyped Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, it was evident that The Asylum was gonna do a sequel. Is it worse than the first? Absolutely! But it's still far from being the worst movie ever made. Just like its predecessor, Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus tries too hard to be an awful B-movie with its horrid script, lousy acting and laughable special effects. But all of that just ends up being too funny to piss anyone off. Casting Jaleel "Steve Urkel" White alone is a barrel of laughs, as he can never do a serious role. Sarah Lieving is hot and all, but given her track record, one must wonder why she's stuck with starring in The Asylum movies. Robert Picardo, despite being a very good actor, doesn't do much in the film. The special effects are actually much less than what you expect from The Asylum. Both the Megalodon and Crocosaurus are poorly-rendered, with their proportions completely out of scale throughout the film. The same footage is also recycled, but flipped horizontally to fool people into either seeing different camera angles or locations. In short, if you enjoyed the first film, you're not missing much. Otherwise, Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus is a waste of time. Rating: C- (if you're stoned); D- (for everyone else) Links Official Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus Homepage References The Internet Movie Database Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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