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Posted (edited)

I never quite bought that Hollywood ethic according to which, if yo have a problem, you only have to learn a new discipline in a few weeks or so, apply it successfully the first time, and then the problem is gone. As if the process of learning was something so painful that you must get over with as soon as possible.

What about a movie about our typical lost teenager that embraces this discipline he/she decides he/she can be good at (kung-fu, Poetry, World of Warcraft, watever), enters a tournament and fails miserably, but at the end he/she decides that this is what he/she wants to do with his/her life so he/she gets up on his feet again and tries over and over again, getting better and better tru' the years?

But Karate Kid is not a movie about learning, it's yet another Hollywood flick about who can piss further. It resorts to the old "bad guy bullies the defenseless guy (who of course we all relate to), so he learns a few new tricks to kick the bully's a$$ and succeeds so we can all go home with a warm feeling of vindication" formula. Not too different from a Charles Atlas ad, really.

Edited by Lonely Soldier Boy
Posted (edited)
No sh*t where do you begin. Let me take a stab.

How the hell, no how the f*ck do you base a movie about karate in the country where GUNG FU originated???!!! I mean, karate is supposed to be Japanese, isn't it???!!!

That's all we need, giving more money to the f*cking Chi-coms. :angry:

God, that trailer was so damned bad I bailed right when the Miagi clone showed his freaking face.

Go learn some history.

Karate is of Ryukyuan origin, not Japanese, whose civilization was situated on the island chain of the same name between Taiwan and southern Japan. The Ryukyu kingdom was an independent state until it was formally absorbed by Japan in the latter half of the 19th century. Throughout its history, it was heavily influenced by both Chinese and Japanese culture. I would argue more so influenced by China as it was part of the Ming dynasty tributary system, but that is open to debate. Although today, Ryukyuans are nationality-wise Japanese, they maintained a distinct culture and government in the past.

The characters for the karate originally meant "Chinese hand," but following its absorption into Japan, it was refashioned into "Empty hand." There is clear evidence to show that the martial art itself is partially derived from Chinese visitors in the region. Likewise, you can find evidence that earlier forms of Chinese martial arts derive from Kalariya-Barat (sp) in India which as eugimon pointed out could have traveled East following the trail of Buddhist monks.

The original Karate kid was pure garbage. Most people don't realize that Pat Morita spoke English fluently but was forced to "degrade himself" by speaking broken heavily accented English, in spite of the fact that his character served in the US Army's 442nd during WW2.... epic lulz, oh well. I guess at that time the idea of Asians speaking perfect English was unfathomable, not surprising from the era that brought you such awesome Asian characters like Lon Duk Dong.

Edited by Ghost Train
Posted (edited)
THAT issue will be solved within the next few years. There are ZERO asians that hold MMA titles or even really compete. They really don't care and now the world sees that.

What about Lyoto Machida? :p

Edited by VT 1010
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
No more Apes!!!!

Everybody crawls up Tim Burtons arse worshipping him all the time but he is certainly capable of killing franchises.

Taksraven

Posted
Burton's Apes was pure crap IMO. Nothing beats the original movies.

Graham

Exactly, I could not give a stuff that Burton's version was closer to Monkey Planet, or that the special effects and prosthetics were so good, at the end of the day the movie was a waste of goddam money. I know that it did make a profit, but just try to think what sort of new and more creative projects could have been filmed with the same funds.

Taksraven

Posted
Kevin Smith puts it best about Tim Burton and his take on Planet of the Apes! B))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_UG8ub3aoY

Min 1:13

"It is f****** Marky Mark.... I don't care what he call's himself now, it's just like: Feel It, Feel It! The underwear dude!"

LOL The funniest line about the most overrated actor in Hollywood :D

And yup, I really hope they don't remake more Planet of the Apes stuff. I don't know why they insist on remaking films that were very good to begin with.

Posted (edited)
You WERE being sarcastic right?

Unfortunately, the person in question comes from a part of the world whose knowledge of history boils down to understanding only 4 concepts: 1) guns 2) succession 3) tea party 4) Mexicans.

Edited by Ghost Train
Posted
Unfortunately, the person in question comes from a part of the world whose knowledge of history boils down to understanding only 4 concepts: 1) guns 2) succession 3) tea party 4) Mexicans.
The word is "secession". At least Texas has a state consitutional prohibition of a state income tax!!!
Posted (edited)
Unfortunately, the person in question comes from a part of the world whose knowledge of history boils down to understanding only 4 concepts: 1) guns 2) succession 3) tea party 4) Mexicans.

you forgot BBQ and oil.

Edited by eugimon
Posted

This isn't technically a remake since it stems from a great, great novel, but it fits in the category.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/20...erre-morel-dune

Personally I don't Dune is filmable. Even David Lynch couldn't pull it off. Then again if you had asked me 10 years ago I would have told you that Lord of the Rings wasn't doable so what do I know.

Posted
This isn't technically a remake since it stems from a great, great novel, but it fits in the category.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/20...erre-morel-dune

Personally I don't Dune is filmable. Even David Lynch couldn't pull it off. Then again if you had asked me 10 years ago I would have told you that Lord of the Rings wasn't doable so what do I know.

You could never film all of Dune in one go. It would have to be broken up into seperate films. The Sci-Fi miniseries had the right idea of taking the time needed to follow many of the incatracies of the book as possible, and even that had its problems.

Posted
This isn't technically a remake since it stems from a great, great novel, but it fits in the category.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/20...erre-morel-dune

Personally I don't Dune is filmable. Even David Lynch couldn't pull it off. Then again if you had asked me 10 years ago I would have told you that Lord of the Rings wasn't doable so what do I know.

CoryHomes is right...Dune is NOT filmable in any way that would make for a coherent movie. The miniseries appraoch is better, but still...there's too much important background material. None one could make a Dune movie that captures the book.

Most books are not movies waiting to be born. They're books. They're meant to be books. They're meant to STAY books. And that should be perfectly fine.

Speaking of Dune. One of the great movie projects that never took off was Alejandro Jodorowsky's take on Dune.

Music by Pink Floyd, designs by Giger and Moebius. That would have been one interesting movie.

http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/11/17/j...s-dune-des.html

It's easy to drool over what might have been. On paper, a Dune directed by David Lynch sounds great, too.

Posted
Just the first book of Dune would need to be split up into a trilogy for it to work in any meaningful way, imo

...except that it doesn't have a trilogy structure. Part 1 is all build up and information; very little actually happens. Part 2 (which of course picks up the instant Part 1 ends) is all about settling in with the Fremen, and getting used to their culture. All the action happens in Part 3, which is set two years after the first two parts. As a single book, it works brilliantly. Broken up into the three discrete parts, it wouldn't work at all.

Plus, a lot of the most interesting bits (like the dinner party where everyone is saying one thing but meaning two or three other things) are entirely unfilmable.

Posted
...except that it doesn't have a trilogy structure. Part 1 is all build up and information; very little actually happens. Part 2 (which of course picks up the instant Part 1 ends) is all about settling in with the Fremen, and getting used to their culture. All the action happens in Part 3, which is set two years after the first two parts. As a single book, it works brilliantly. Broken up into the three discrete parts, it wouldn't work at all.

Plus, a lot of the most interesting bits (like the dinner party where everyone is saying one thing but meaning two or three other things) are entirely unfilmable.

Right, so each part of my proposed Dune Trilogy would be treated like a separate genre

part 1: leaving Caladan and taking up Dune would be a political thriller, part 2 would basically be a Moses story and part 3 would be the war epic.

There's still enough action in each part to keep it interesting. Part 1 can end with the fall of House Artreides and Paul and Jessica fleeing into the desert. Their time with the Fremen has lots of stuff to mine for stuff to blow up and part 3 is easy as well.

Posted
This isn't technically a remake since it stems from a great, great novel, but it fits in the category.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/20...erre-morel-dune

Personally I don't Dune is filmable. Even David Lynch couldn't pull it off. Then again if you had asked me 10 years ago I would have told you that Lord of the Rings wasn't doable so what do I know.

It wasn't really Lynch's fault, he just stepped into a real mess. Gubaba has more information on that front, pointed out somewhere in "The Worst Film of All Time" thread.
Posted
Speaking of Dune. One of the great movie projects that never took off was Alejandro Jodorowsky's take on Dune.

Music by Pink Floyd, designs by Giger and Moebius. That would have been one interesting movie.

http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/11/17/j...s-dune-des.html

Is that the one where Paul and his mother were supposed to have an "intimate relationship". I'm not joking, I have heard of such a planned version.

Taksraven

Posted
Most books are not movies waiting to be born. They're books. They're meant to be books. They're meant to STAY books. And that should be perfectly fine.

Agree with you. I really do. But if you look at the film industry as a whole, there seems to be an almost total lack of screenwriting creativity. It's almost like they ran out of stories of tell. The recycling of scripts is not the exception. It's the norm.

Hence the industry's overwhelming need for remakes of successful movies, or as is the case here, have another go at one of the great books of the 20th century. We might not like it, but there it is.

Posted
Is that the one where Paul and his mother were supposed to have an "intimate relationship". I'm not joking, I have heard of such a planned version.

Taksraven

Don't really know the details, but having watched some of Jodorowsky's other work it wouldn't surprise me one bit. Some of his other stuff like El Topo or the Holy Mountain is completely out there. Surreal I guess would describe it best.

Posted

The only movie I know of that pulled off going exactly by the book was "The Maltese Falcon". From what I've heard the script was almost word for word the spoken dialogue of the book.

Posted
The only movie I know of that pulled off going exactly by the book was "The Maltese Falcon". From what I've heard the script was almost word for word the spoken dialogue of the book.

Not really. I think you might be thinking of The Big Sleep, since a lot of dialogue from that made its way into the movie...but still, both movies are heavily sanitized compared to the books.

Posted
Not really. I think you might be thinking of The Big Sleep, since a lot of dialogue from that made its way into the movie...but still, both movies are heavily sanitized compared to the books.
I'm not suprised, since I know that "The Maltese Falcon" is a Dashell Hammet work, written in the hard-boiled era of writing (Don't know if he worte The Big Sleep, though).
Posted
I'm not suprised, since I know that "The Maltese Falcon" is a Dashell Hammet work, written in the hard-boiled era of writing (Don't know if he worte The Big Sleep, though).

The Big Sleep was by Raymond Chandler. Great book, great movie. GET THEM NOW!

Posted

The Maltese Falcon is my all time favorite movie, and I agree that Raymond Chandler is a great writer. One of the few writers whose books I still read today. I'm also an uber Bogart fan and am in love with Lauren Bacal of course :) Another great Bogart movie, beyond the Big Sleep and Casablanca is To Have and Have Not.

But I do hope NOBODY ever tries to remake a Boggie film. It CAN'T be done and should never be tried.

Pete

Posted
The Maltese Falcon is my all time favorite movie, and I agree that Raymond Chandler is a great writer. One of the few writers whose books I still read today. I'm also an uber Bogart fan and am in love with Lauren Bacal of course :) Another great Bogart movie, beyond the Big Sleep and Casablanca is To Have and Have Not.

But I do hope NOBODY ever tries to remake a Boggie film. It CAN'T be done and should never be tried.

Pete

The Treasure of the Sierra Madre is another great Bogart movie...

Now that you mention it, I can't really think of any remakes of Bogart movies. People probably realize that none of today's male performers could pull them off.

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