Empire or Rebels

[Roy Focker]

Here's an idea of mine every other week or a famous feud will be selected and you vote for the side you would take.

I have been thinking about Star Wars recently. If given a choice I sided with the Empire. Sure they are the bad guys but is the other choice that great?

Star Wars is basically a fairy tale. The wars took place a long time ago. In the opening crawl it makes clear that the Galactic Empire is an Evil One. Didn’t the Rebels win? Isn’t it just natural for the victor’s version of the story to be passed along? If the Empire won then the Rebels would be labeled as Evil. Here is one of the evil acts of the Rebels that just makes me want to side with the Empire.

The Republic/Rebel Alliance make friends are primative aliens. The Empire does not and for good reason. Take a look at some of these "friends".

Ewoks. Christ sake the Ewoks are friends with Wilford Brimley. If he’s their friend than the Ewoks are or friend of mine.

Gungans. The Republic’s Senate allowed them in it and with Jar Jar as their representative. Excuse me? The day Jar Jar is allowed to have a say in how my galaxy is the day I move to another one.

Wookies. Common traits, prone to violence and oh yeah they wear no pants. You just know Chewbacca here is walking around with crap stuck on his fur rubbing his ass up on everything. Even worst has got to be those giant boners. Pardon me but couldn’t the wookie wear pants in the company of others?

Would you rather have Storm Troopers enforcing the iron will of the Emperor over you or Chewbacca dragging his ass on your carpet?

[robodragon]

It's like you said. It's all a point of view. I like the idea of the empire with out the Sith lord in control. Kinda Like the UN or UNSPACY. If you have not seen it yet do a search for Star Wars Cops on youtube. It makes you think diffrently. Intergallactic police.

[GobotFool]

In many ways the rebels are terrorists whose top hero is really a fanatical follower of an ancient obscure religion.

Edited August 23, 2007 by GobotFool

[mikeszekely]

Yeah, and you just know those damn rebels are all battying about tolerance and political correctness. My vote's for totalitarianism, where the only beliefs I have to respect are the ones the government tells me to.

[Kurisama]

In many ways the rebels are terrorists whose top hero is really a fanatical follower of an ancient obscure religion.

WHOA!

LOL! Never thought of it like that before!

Hmm... i can just see a Jawa running into a crowded space port and detonating a load of explosives strapped to his chest...

Ahem.

I'd side with the Empire, why? Because they've got a fricken huge planet killing laser. Thats why.

[eugimon]

does it matter? they're both aristocratic theocracies. I vote for the empire, if only because there's less of them sanctimonious force users around. always walking around, waving their fingers, trying to tell you to not smoke or other nonsense... and then they go and steal your car. Well F you jedi, if you're so concerned about my health, how about you don't steal my car and leave me stranded in down town coruscant in the middle of the night. You think it's safe down here at night???

[bob joe mac]

IV rebels blow up a giant gun in space

V rebels lose a important base and run away and luke loses a hand

VI rebels blow up the same gun they did in the first movie but more busted up and under construction...and the rebels win the war as shown at the end of the new remastered versions.....

so... the empire that conquered the galaxy lost a space station that was already being constructed and lost the war...

tough vote but I'm going with the empire between 2/4 they conquered the entire galaxy so they musta been hardcore:P

[GobotFool]

does it matter? they're both aristocratic theocracies.

Yah, on the one hand you have the sith who like to beat up puppies and kill children, on the otherhand you have jedi who tell you to be nice, peaceful and friendly, and then go break all the trade federations toys. Jerks. I dunno, I think I'd vote for the hutts myself. Good old free trade, at least we'd have plenty of half naked dancers running around that way. Ahhh Hedonism, what good is morality if it makes you poor, powerless and never gets you layed.

Edited August 23, 2007 by GobotFool

[GobotFool]

Yeah, and you just know those damn rebels are all battying about tolerance and political correctness. My vote's for totalitarianism, where the only beliefs I have to respect are the ones the government tells me to.

Well, under a totalitarian gov't, they could tell you to respect everyone elses beleifs :-p Why vote totalitarianism when you can have anarachy. No one tells you anything and you can kill whoever you want without a gov't breathing down your back. Of course then you have to deal with the decease's family and friends, who could also kill you, and so on and on. Ahhh. good old pre-special edition episode IV Han Solo. (no I don't support anarchy, but I'm bored and feel like typing stupid things.)

Edited August 23, 2007 by GobotFool

[Roy Focker]

Speaking of the Jedi

I think they got what they deserved. Some might say what about the younglings? Did they deserve to be killed? To me it was a mercy killing. Look at how the order operates. They seek out very young and take them away from their families before strong attachments are made. A Jedi's whole view is totally shaped by the order. They aren't allowed to marry. Deep attachments would cloud their judgements to do what is right. What is right is what ever the hell Mace Windu and Yoda says it is. Yoda is too old to relate to anybody. Is that life you want for your child? For all we know the order is a bunch of pedophiles. They pick kids when they are really young. A Jedi then selects one to be his Padawan/victim. They spend years together. Surely a bond develops between them that is stronger than mentor and student. When the Padawan gets too old their master declare them Jedi and toss them out for a younger one. 20 years after the Empire put a stop to this we have Luke Skywalker trying to bring this disturbing order back. To make it worst the entire rebel alliance is helping him!

"He is too old. Yes, too old to begin the training" - Yoda. The sick bastard who tried to refuse to training Luke in the ways of the force. Too old = not Sexy. Real reason why Yoda was on dagobah? As a registered sex offender the Empire didn't allow him near other people.

[eugimon]

that puts those little grunts yoda makes while riding on luke's back in a whole new and distrubing context.

[buddhafabio]

in the empire, if you are freshly dead or near dead they can build you a suit to sustain you life. even better you will recieve a voice like james earl jones.

[Graham]

I'd vote Empire. Personally, I never thought they were all that evil.

Plus, they have the cooler uniforms.

Graham

[wolfx]

Speaking of the Jedi

I think they got what they deserved. Some might say what about the younglings? Did they deserve to be killed? To me it was a mercy killing. Look at how the order operates. They seek out very young and take them away from their families before strong attachments are made. A Jedi's whole view is totally shaped by the order. They aren't allowed to marry. Deep attachments would cloud their judgements to do what is right. What is right is what ever the hell Mace Windu and Yoda says it is. Yoda is too old to relate to anybody. Is that life you want for your child? For all we know the order is a bunch of pedophiles. They pick kids when they are really young. A Jedi then selects one to be his Padawan/victim. They spend years together. Surely a bond develops between them that is stronger than mentor and student. When the Padawan gets too old their master declare them Jedi and toss them out for a younger one. 20 years after the Empire put a stop to this we have Luke Skywalker trying to bring this disturbing order back. To make it worst the entire rebel alliance is helping him!

"He is too old. Yes, too old to begin the training" - Yoda. The sick bastard who tried to refuse to training Luke in the ways of the force. Too old = not Sexy. Real reason why Yoda was on dagobah? As a registered sex offender the Empire didn't allow him near other people.

That's the funniest thing I read today.

[Sumdumgai]

Empire. They had Clonetroopers, then they went to Stormtroopers. I like the whole totalitarian iron fist thing. Terrorists want to f&*k with the empire? Blow their planet up. Anarchists using a protest rally to cause trouble? Land a shuttle on the crowd.

Considering that the Rebel Alliance is a terrorist organization, although the leaders might have high and mighty goals, you have to wonder about the personal gains and the sub-commanders. "Senator Organa says go blow up the Imperial Spaceport using bothans and wookies."

Besides the Empire has Sith. They choose to use force powers for awesome, not good.

[myk]

Empire. One galaxy under one law, as it should be...

[GobotFool]

This whole conversation vaguely reminds me of a scene from monty python and the holy grail. "We the rebel Alliance demand the full dismantalment of the Galactic Empire, except for the roads, schools and all other vital infrastructure built and maintained by the Galactic Empire."

Also, can you really support a supposedly seasoned military organization that brings a bright shiney reflective robot on a covert ops mission? Oh yeah, that missions gonna stay covert for a long time.

Edited August 23, 2007 by GobotFool

[gerwalk25]

Empire all the way.

[Roy Focker]

in the empire, if you are freshly dead or near dead they can build you a suit to sustain you life. even better you will recieve a voice like james earl jones.

Right they had a universal health care system.

Empire. They had Clonetroopers, then they went to Stormtroopers. I like the whole totalitarian iron fist thing. Terrorists want to f&*k with the empire? Blow their planet up. Anarchists using a protest rally to cause trouble? Land a shuttle on the crowd.

Think about this if the Jedi & the Republic were the good guys then how come they used the Clone Army? One day the found they had an army of clone and felt no remorse about using them and sending them to their deaths. Almost like they didn't considered them human. They sure looked human to me. R2D2 and C3PO got better treatment. Empire had no problems using Storm Troopers and Jedi/Republic had none with the Clone Troopers. There's no difference between them in this factor.

[HoveringCheesecake]

Empire for sure.

[Mr March]

Wow. The spin doctors of the empire are even better than the ones we have today

[Tinderfitles]

Rebel Alliance

Sure you can complain about pedophile Jedi's, walking carpets, and shiny undercover robots, but in the end its all about the chance to blow stuff up. Sure you can blow up and entire planet in the imperial army, but theres no replay value. With the alliance I can blow up say an imperial barracks, and they rebuild it, allowing me the joy of blowing it up again.

Besides if stormtroopers are there to reinforce the iron will of the empire then they cant aim for poo, id rather have the clones to be honest, or at worst the ewoks.

Post Script

If I was a pilot i would still choose to be rebel in all honesty. As much as i like looking like a cheap Vader clone, i would rather have a bright orange jumpsuit with ridiculously big gloves, and a robot backseat driver who like to beep and boop while im trying to blow up a huge space station. Just my personal preference of course

[Dangard Ace]

Rebels: Slave Bikini Leia

Empire: Wrinkly old men in robes or clones of Boba Fett.

Hmmm.....hard choice.

[eugimon]

Rebels: Slave Bikini Leia

Empire: Wrinkly old men in robes or clones of Boba Fett.

Hmmm.....hard choice.

the truth comes out, rebels support slavery and mysogeny! It's only under the glorious Empire that women are freed of their bondage!

[Roy Focker]

the truth comes out, rebels support slavery and mysogeny! It's only under the glorious Empire that women are freed of their bondage!

Yep the "good" guys approved of slavery. Poor Anakin's mother was slave and the damn Jedi didn't do a thing about it. Oh tatooine is out of their reach and controlled by the hutts. Lets not interfer. For crying out loud they knew of the conditions there but didn't do crap to stop it. The Empire would have cleaned up that dump up long ago if they weren't busy chasing the alliance.

[azrael]

I'll go with the Rebels. I like a little variety in my toys. You know, I could go with a bowcaster one day...a planetary ion cannon the next...

And of course the women...In the Empire, there are hardly enough women around in uniform. I would be staring at a clones or a bunch of guys. There are practically no girls around the Empire.

[Sumdumgai]

Ah but stormtroopers can't aim worth poo when it's against heros, it's against the laws of the universe , set-up a long time ago in a galaxy far far away post clone wars. The brand new galactic empire's clonetroopers did a pretty damned good job in wiping out the jedi according to the movie (not the comics, where every other pedo-jedi and their stockholmed victim survived and went into hiding), shooting accurately as infantry, as artillery, and as pilots.

And on a plus side the Emperor took down three jedi masters in under ten seconds, toyed with Mace Windu, and owned Yoda. A leader that's not only cunning, but powerful. The way an emperor should be.

[eugimon]

And on a plus side the Emperor took down three jedi masters in under ten seconds, toyed with Mace Windu, and owned Yoda. A leader that's not only cunning, but powerful. The way an emperor should be.

exactly, the empreror has shown himself to be someone who doesn't give up the fight and keeps going: super weapon destroyed, make another, get thrown into an endless shaft by pansy apprentice, clone yourself and start again. In comparison, what does yoda do? Loses one fight and then runs off to the swamp to sulk and pout for 18 years. And lets face it, yoda not that smart. He's been around 900 years and he still can't be bothered to learn how to properly speak galactic?

[Roy Focker]

And of course the women...In the Empire, there are hardly enough women around in uniform. I would be staring at a clones or a bunch of guys. There are practically no girls around the Empire.

Yes the Empire keeps their women safe at home while the Alliance allows them to get captured and become sex slaves to the Hutts.

Who is looking out for the safety on your wives and daughters?

[Veritas]

Empire.

They're not evil... just misunderstood. The Death Star was actually supposed to be a giant planet rebuilding laser. It would fire a beam at cluster of Asteroids and wham, new planet. The first tests were unsuccessful however. But is that a crime?

[Radd]

Kinda against the whole authoritarian/totalitarian government thing, additionally if I did get in to that whole mess, I'd probably wind up going for fighter pilot and the Alliance had much better pilot perks. Little things like, oh, shields.

[HoveringCheesecake]

Kinda against the whole authoritarian/totalitarian government thing, additionally if I did get in to that whole mess, I'd probably wind up going for fighter pilot and the Alliance had much better pilot perks. Little things like, oh, shields.

Some TIE models do have shields. Also: Star Destroyers. You can't top that poo.

[Radd]

Yeah, sure, some EU models of the TIE fighter have shields. Do you think they'll drop some new pilot, no matter how well he scored on his exams and flight tests, into one of those? No, they drop them in to a regular plain old TIE fighter and say, "Good luck, chump!"

Star Destroyers look nice. Sure. Not really something that sways my opinion.

[GobotFool]

Yeah, sure, some EU models of the TIE fighter have shields. Do you think they'll drop some new pilot, no matter how well he scored on his exams and flight tests, into one of those? No, they drop them in to a regular plain old TIE fighter and say, "Good luck, chump!"

Star Destroyers look nice. Sure. Not really something that sways my opinion.

And can you really support an army that got its butt kicked by teddy bears, and builds giant robotic elephants that can be stopped with fishingline?

the truth comes out, rebels support slavery and mysogeny! It's only under the glorious Empire that women are freed of their bondage!

And hey now, It's the Hutts who supported slavery and mysogeny. Remember in the prequels the Hutt planets were not Old Republic controlled, and in the new trilogy it seems they ran the mob. So if you want slave lea in the metal bikini, you gotta vote for the Hutts.

Edited August 23, 2007 by GobotFool

[eugimon]

Kinda against the whole authoritarian/totalitarian government thing, additionally if I did get in to that whole mess, I'd probably wind up going for fighter pilot and the Alliance had much better pilot perks. Little things like, oh, shields.

typical of the rebel terrorists. First they steal the shields from hard working empire fighter pilots thanks to their shady association with non humans and then they go about touting their so called technological superiority!