Age old debate??? Girls vs. toys

[1/1 LowViz Lurker]

Im not going to wade in really, but i have lost a lot of respect for some people on this board. I'd say you sdhould be ashamed to call yourselves men, but then you might come and bash me. After all thats a 'mans' response right? Someone insults u, kick the hell out of him.

Meltran sympathiser! Do not let him contaminate the others. Our warriors will not be pussywhipped!

Edited May 9, 2007 by 1/1 LowViz Lurker

[Jasonc]

Well, for the record, I was raised with both parents, so there goes that argument. In most cases, I've found that people attract a reflection of themselves to some extent. Forget the "opposites attract" B.S. That's about as solid as a matchstick, and burns out just as fast. Garbage in, garbage out. If you have a shitty view of women that are coming around you, it's more likely because you are attracting some sort of reflection of yourself. That's why in my last post, I said if you want to change the type of women you are pulling in, you need to clean out the closet of your own ideas, and start figuring out what's gonna make you a better person.

The few of us fortunate to have women in our lives who inspire our collections, share in our joys in our hobbies, and can still be a man and not compromise your gut instincts, consider yourself very fortunate. I know I do. With my fiance, I've sacrificed 0% of who I am, as she knew that was who she got, and she hasn't had to sacrifice any of her character, and the relationship works both ways, in good harmony. We save together, buy together, and when she wants to buy something within means, she does. When I want to buy something within means, I do.

Being married, single, a player, a nerd, or whatever, doesn't classify you as less or more of a man. It's all about gaining respect, giving respect, and living life to the fullest. To some, the fullest is dating as many chicks as they can, to some, it's being financially independent, to others, it's being with one woman to call their own. Whatever you want, respect those around you, respect your woman, and respect yourself. Stand for what you believe.

Damn, that sounded almost patriotic. I'm drinking to that one tonight.

[Sundown]

I'm getting the vibe here that a lot of you guys were raised by single mothers, am I right?

this generation has the highest percentage of broken families and single mothers so gone are the days of dads being around to show a kid how a man is supposed to act and a mom around to show how women are supposed to act.

we're living in an age of guys who talk about "soul mates" lol

Actually I'm betting a lot of the guys here come from moderately happy homes where it was shown to them that good women exist and how a man is supposed to give himself to her (which isn't the same as caving in to her). My folks are moderately happy, and my mom is incredibly self-sacrificial. My dad's devoted, even if he has his quirks and lapses. If anything, it's my mother who compromises, and it's in seeing that that's taught me the importance of compromise both ways.

I mean, are we to similarly deduct that folks with a philosophy similar to yours grew up in homes where a father uses a mother only for his sexual pleasure, then banishes her to the kitchen? And I don't think it would be reaching to say that the rise of divorces is precisely *due* to couples being unwilling to compromise and unwilling to give anything of themselves to the other, and see the other partner mainly as the answer to their unmet needs.

Are we going to talk about what makes a man a good one? I'll avoid using the term "real" man because it's a bit insulting and implies one isn't at all if he doesn't match up to some narrow ideal. Okay.

A good man compromises and gives because he can. He has plenty strength left of himself for himself, and he has enough in abundance to spend it on others. I'm not sure I could hold someone who jealously refuses to compromise out of fear of losing what malehood he has left as an ideal man and a stunning example of one secure in his identity and masculinity. A good man does not cave. But a good man also knows that not all compromise is caving, and that real, intentional compromise is actually a demonstration of his strength.

Edited May 9, 2007 by Sundown

[bandit29]

I'm getting the vibe here that a lot of you guys were raised by single mothers, am I right?

this generation has the highest percentage of broken families and single mothers so gone are the days of dads being around to show a kid how a man is supposed to act and a mom around to show how women are supposed to act.

we're living in an age of guys who talk about "soul mates" lol

Nope. I was raised by both my dad and mom. But in my circle of friends and such, I'm in the minority.

And ya, some of the guys who were raised only by their moms use the term "soulmate".

[Jasonc]

Nope. I was raised by both my dad and mom. But in my circle of friends and such, I'm in the minority.

And ya, some of the guys who were raised only by their moms use the term "soulmate".

I haven't met anyone that's really said that before. Not that I ever use it, but out of curiosity, why does that carry a negative connotation? Would a guy saying that be the same implication of a guy who cries during telephone commercials, and orders the foo-foo drinks at starbucks in his Miata (didn't mean to offend anyone, if that applies to you)?

[Sumdumgai]

Raised by both parents in a happy home, both compromise, and both are weirdos. That's where my collecting things come from.

Very good points Jasonc and Sundown.

Just so we can get an idea here, for those of you that see women as sex objects who either put up, shut up, or leave, what are your criteria that makes someone a man? Please give examples with your criteria and tell us what culture you're from. Since not all cultures agree on the criteria for manliness. And what does a man look for? A relationship? As much sex with no responsibility or ties attached as possible?

And say you're living with a guy roomate that's a friend and you split the rent. You want to set up things in the apartment one way, your friend wants to set it up another way. Same situation as with a woman, but it's a guy instead, and he's adamant about doing things his way. Does compromising make you less of a man? Do you tell them "my way or the highway?" Do you get into a no-holds brawl, anything-goes fist-fight, with the winner being the manlier man?

A good man doesn't need to make everything about himself. Nor does he need to make everything a tribute to his manliness. A good man isn't a misogynist either.

And it's much better if a man can understand and articulate his feelings, versus being limited to: Happy, Mad, Sad, Bored, Really Mad, Smug, Mad and not sure why. There were some nice studies (that I can't remember the names of or who did them), showing that men who were raised to understand their feelings and talk about things more, rather than to "shut-up", "take it", "not cry", "don't take crap from anyone", and "be a man", were much healthier, balanced, and had a far lower rate of mental instability. They also had more success with their love lives and a lower rate of bad relationships.

And you don't have to be a man to like and appreciate Macross. My wife loves Macross, and Max and Miria. Hell she bought me my VF-11B, Q-rau, and helped me get my VF-0A.

added additional info

Edited May 11, 2007 by Sumdumgai

[bandit29]

I haven't met anyone that's really said that before. Not that I ever use it, but out of curiosity, why does that carry a negative connotation? Would a guy saying that be the same implication of a guy who cries during telephone commercials, and orders the foo-foo drinks at starbucks in his Miata (didn't mean to offend anyone, if that applies to you)?

I guess it would be negative for some people, not me though.

One of the guys(who was raised just by his mom) I know who uses the term "soulmate" is a biker loaded with tattoos. He's far from a foo-foo.

[Jasonc]

Ah, OK!!! I was just trying to figure out that one, as I don't see how the term "soulmate" could give off a "weak" man, or the sort. It just didn't make sense to me.

In what I was brought up under, it is kinda a mix between old and new culture, a lot of the old based in my latin American heritage. The old that I've taken in is that a man is the one who carries the weight of a relationship with his girlfriend/wife. As we all know, relationships aren't always easy as pie. The stress and burdens should be weighted mostly on the man. In return, his woman should always give him room to be free (not in the sleeping around sense) to be who he is, endulge in his hobbies, and relax from time to time. In my upbringing there, a woman is your most cherised person on the planet. She's the one who will bear your children, support you when the world is against you, and bring you joy in life that "male bonding" just doesn't give.

The new culture side tells me that a good man is simply like a reed in the wind. Sounds stupid, I know, but a reed can bend with changing wind/time, and not break (cave in, or faulter). The truth is, women are very difficult to grasp, and understand as it is, and any man who can make a great relationship last the test of time and remain happy is doing something right. The woman must be doing her job as well, because as the saying goes, behind every great man is a greater woman. I don't necessarily believe that saying all the way, but if a great man is gonna be with a woman, the respect and honor given needs to be a 2-way street.

[big F]

Ah, OK!!! I was just trying to figure out that one, as I don't see how the term "soulmate" could give off a "weak" man, or the sort. It just didn't make sense to me.

In what I was brought up under, it is kinda a mix between old and new culture, a lot of the old based in my latin American heritage. The old that I've taken in is that a man is the one who carries the weight of a relationship with his girlfriend/wife. As we all know, relationships aren't always easy as pie. The stress and burdens should be weighted mostly on the man. In return, his woman should always give him room to be free (not in the sleeping around sense) to be who he is, endulge in his hobbies, and relax from time to time. In my upbringing there, a woman is your most cherised person on the planet. She's the one who will bear your children, support you when the world is against you, and bring you joy in life that "male bonding" just doesn't give.

The new culture side tells me that a good man is simply like a reed in the wind. Sounds stupid, I know, but a reed can bend with changing wind/time, and not break (cave in, or faulter). The truth is, women are very difficult to grasp, and understand as it is, and any man who can make a great relationship last the test of time and remain happy is doing something right. The woman must be doing her job as well, because as the saying goes, behind every great man is a greater woman. I don't necessarily believe that saying all the way, but if a great man is gonna be with a woman, the respect and honor given needs to be a 2-way street.

Amen that.

[Mr March]

Yeah, I buy all this. I heard adoption leads to serial killing too

[Dio]

Im not going to wade in really, but i have lost a lot of respect for some people on this board. I'd say you sdhould be ashamed to call yourselves men, but then you might come and bash me. After all thats a 'mans' response right? Someone insults u, kick the hell out of him.

It's what made America great.

At a very cursory glance I counted the following number of users (who chose to identify their nation of origin) making statements I would classify as either:

Misogynistic - selfishly anti-female angle. Unrelenting attitude toward toy display (or his own right to satisfy interests in general)

Neutral - self-explanatory.

Compromising - expressed a desire to maintain his own interest, be respected by her, and offering respect in return. Willing to, or has already worked the issue out with his wife/significant other amicably.

USA - 12 Compromising, 2 Misogynistic

Canada - 1 Compromising

England - 2 Compromising, 1 Neutral

Australia - 2 Compromising

Panama - 1 Compromising

Netherlands - 1 Compromising

Total

19 Members advocating compromise, or have already worked things out and are doing fine.

1 Neutral Member, whose statement did not reflect a strong opinion in either direction.

2 Members who stated opinions which reflect a Misogynistic bias.

Total (including comments by members whose location is not specified)

27 Compromising

1 Neutral

2 Misogynistic

The average sampling size (1-3 Members) outside of the USA really isn't enough to generalize any sort of national trends. However, it would appear that the overwhelming majority of users here are willing to, and have or would actively pursue a respectful compromise with their significant other in order to display their toys without it being a point of contention or conflict.

In short, I think to classify aggressive machismo as a predominately American value would be incorrect, based on the evidence available to us here.

[MangledMess]

Hey, long time no see.

Golly, I never thought I'd reply to this particular old-age dilemma. o.O

Heh, after reading a few replies here cements the reason of why I stayed single(even though I failed in a relationship or two, but I think that's a blessing in disguise). Them femmes will always try change you the way they see fit. Sure, girl will love the guy, but will want some adjustments. Sometimes the compromise would be fair, sometimes it gets ridiculous. Try to stand your ground, and there comes the heated argument.

That also goes to show that I do not like control freaks. :/

See ya later.

*Mangled Mess.

[big F]

Yeah, I buy all this. I heard adoption leads to serial killing too

Yeah and eating after midnight turns you into a gremlin.

[hevangel2]

I have the similar problem. I am going to get marry next year and my girlfriend already said she only want 1 displace case in the house. (currently I have 2) Actually I sort of make a compromise with her, I am going to quite collecting Gundam, but only keep my Macross (Yeah!), and I will start a new line of truly manly collection, real gun! Weird that she encourage me to buy guns instead of toys.

[Scream Man]

At a very cursory glance I counted the following number of users (who chose to identify their nation of origin) making statements I would classify as either:

Misogynistic - selfishly anti-female angle. Unrelenting attitude toward toy display (or his own right to satisfy interests in general)

Neutral - self-explanatory.

Compromising - expressed a desire to maintain his own interest, be respected by her, and offering respect in return. Willing to, or has already worked the issue out with his wife/significant other amicably.

USA - 12 Compromising, 2 Misogynistic

Canada - 1 Compromising

England - 2 Compromising, 1 Neutral

Australia - 2 Compromising

Panama - 1 Compromising

Netherlands - 1 Compromising

Total

19 Members advocating compromise, or have already worked things out and are doing fine.

1 Neutral Member, whose statement did not reflect a strong opinion in either direction.

2 Members who stated opinions which reflect a Misogynistic bias.

Total (including comments by members whose location is not specified)

27 Compromising

1 Neutral

2 Misogynistic

The average sampling size (1-3 Members) outside of the USA really isn't enough to generalize any sort of national trends. However, it would appear that the overwhelming majority of users here are willing to, and have or would actively pursue a respectful compromise with their significant other in order to display their toys without it being a point of contention or conflict.

In short, I think to classify aggressive machismo as a predominately American value would be incorrect, based on the evidence available to us here.

You certasinly put a lot of work into that.

OK, I apologise. i shouldn't have generalised.

[Fly4victory]

Compromise ends when Miria is knowingly called Barbi.

[big F]

I`d Compromise only with the right woman. Sadly my Ex was not the Woman.

So I continue to hold auditions for her replacement.

[Jasonc]

I have the similar problem. I am going to get marry next year and my girlfriend already said she only want 1 displace case in the house. (currently I have 2) Actually I sort of make a compromise with her, I am going to quite collecting Gundam, but only keep my Macross (Yeah!), and I will start a new line of truly manly collection, real gun! Weird that she encourage me to buy guns instead of toys.

Whatever you have before you got engaged, or make your vows, that's who she marrys, that's what goes with you. Or, if you are to do the compromise, make her get rid of half of her hobby stuff, or half her shoes, or makeup, or something that is equal in sacrifice. If she buys more out of want, not out of necessity, you buy an extra toy out of want. See, you have to eat what you're dishing out sometimes.

[1/1 LowViz Lurker]

Women can treat men like pets on a leash that need to be trained, and act as a controlling mother telling you to pack your toys away and clean you room. Men can treat women like sex slaves for pleasure like a toy. It's pretty equal. There are bad women, and good women. Bad men and good men. Just blame the person not the whole sex.

Its all about the "desperation level" of the individual really. Everyone has different priorities. Some will hate control freaks, others will want stability in a partner that takes charge of things and gives them orders. What's good for one might not be good for another based on what you find important. Maybe its just that people have different taste so they might think that a person who wants to make the room look all feminine is "controlling them" when the intention is to just arrange it to make it look pretty, not to piss you off and show power over you. Having control, and "who has the power? who is the boss?" might not be the real issue, it's just that two different people with different tastes clash.

Edited May 15, 2007 by 1/1 LowViz Lurker

[Skullsixx]

I don't know about you guys... but I'll take a healthy dose of pun-tang over any valk on anyday!!!

[Warmaker]

I don't know about you guys... but I'll take a healthy dose of pun-tang over any valk on anyday!!!

It depends. It is not so much as "Girls vs Toys" for me. It's a bigger meaning. It means being able to deal with the likes and dislikes found between 2 people in a relationship, because there's bound to be differences and some things that one doesn't like about the other. Some will demand a change for their like without giving two s**ts about your own hobbies and whatnot.

If they want to change you into a flower holding b***h following in their wake and you comply, then by all means.

I won't. There will be middle ground or no ground at all.

Funny note: We're holding a sort of "relationships" discussion in a Toys Forum

Edited May 17, 2007 by Warmaker

[Mr March]

Funny note: We're holding a sort of "relationships" discussion in a Toys Forum

The irony is not lost on some of us

[1/1 LowViz Lurker]

What if the toys could come to *life? Would you dump your GF over a female figure of your fave anime character?

*sort of like that nerd movie "Wierd science" where the girl in the magazine becomes real but it's your toys.

"Milia don't put those shiny objects in the microwave and blow up my kitchen!"

I can see some drawbacks!

Edited May 17, 2007 by 1/1 LowViz Lurker