Aliens Vs. Predator 2 Script and Movie Review

[bsu legato]

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=23106

Normally I'd link you people to a story like this and make some scathing comment about how stupid this is, but after reading this review I'm simply speechless. Even if you skip Moriarty's editiorializing, the script simply sucks. If they make this, expect one awful, awful film.

However, this being Macross World I know there's at least one of you out there who'll read this and think to yourselves "Hey that doesn't sound too terribly bad. Maybe it won't be a complete waste of celluloid, and it'll have one or two neat fights." Well know this...since the last AvP film I've immersed myself in a terrible martial art with a 2000 year history, and I'm prepared to give you the Hokuto One Hundred Crack Fist and send you straight to hell. Scum like you have killed cinema long enough.

Edited April 24, 2006 by >EXO<

[GobotFool]

However, this being Macross World I know there's at least one of you out there who'll read this and think to yourselves "Hey that doesn't sound too terribly bad. Maybe it won't be a complete waste of celluloid, and it'll have one or two neat fights." Well know this...since the last AvP film I've immersed myself in a terrible martial art with a 2000 year history, and I'm prepared to give you the Hokuto One Hundred Crack Fist and send you straight to hell. Scum like you have killed cinema long enough.

393878[/snapback]

I'm just gonna say it so I can see this amazing martial art of yours 1st hand.

"hey it might have some good action in it, I'll see it"

*ducks*

Seriously though, why? Why a 2nd one? Did the 1st one even pay for itself? I saw the AvP seriously thinking it could not be as bad as everyone said it was, I didn't rent it or buy it myself, a bunch of my buddies decided to watch it one afternoon and I unfortunantly tagged along. I suppose what bothers me most, is obviously alien's vs predator did well enough with the young dumb 14 to 18 crowd to warrent a sequel. It's sad that such a pathetic movie is probably going to define alien and predator in the minds of that generation the same way the SW prequels are going to define SW for this latest batch of youth.

Edited April 24, 2006 by GobotFool

[Jolly Rogers]

LMAO... Super K Mart!

[Rocket Punch]

I'll watch it...on TBS.

[fulcy]

You know what they've really got to do here. Ditch the human side. In fact, get rid of the human aspect all together - it's ALIENS vs. PREDATORS. Don't throw humans in there to make it so there's something we can relate to - give us a movie about a Predator hunting party, going after an alien queen. Or a group of young adult Predators, led by a blooded adult, going out on their first hunt against the hard meat. Not this crap...

[EXO]

screw that, I say bring up the human element... bring in a full force Colonial Marine armada with plenty of dropships and APCs... Let's see those things in the heat of battle. And maybe one or two aliens and predators... maybe not.

[Rocket Punch]

You know what they've really got to do here.  Ditch the human side.  In fact, get rid of the human aspect all together - it's ALIENS vs. PREDATORS.  Don't throw humans in there to make it so there's something we can relate to - give us a movie about a Predator hunting party, going after an alien queen.  Or a group of young adult Predators, led by a blooded adult, going out on their first hunt against the hard meat.  Not this crap...

393931[/snapback]

That would be interesting. Without any humans, the movie would kind of be like those comics with no dialog. Just a lot of hissing and growling.

[Knight26]

I agree with EXO, don't do this modern day garbage, have a marine group stumble onto a massive pred/alien war ground. Though maybe they can't use the whole COlonial Marine thing, maybe Cameron is blocking them from using the designs. I know what some you are going to say, does he own the rights? I have no idea. What about the name Wayland Utani? It already existed in the first movie, only the logo was changed for Aliens. But we will see, maybe this script is just vaporware to through people off the scent, can we say Blue Harvest?

[Seven]

Arrgh... must ram head... into wall!

Seriously, the aliens land in a small hick town and a lone warrior comes to kill them all with the help of some trailer park trash kids? Didn't they make this in the 80s? It was called CRITTERS.

[Sumdumgai]

I was thinking the same thing seven!

An Alien vs Predator movie should be rated R. Not Pg-13, not PG, not G. At LEAST R. Predators come to some colony of humans on a far off planet. They dump some face huggers in the middle of the colony, people start getting face huggered, it's too late when the chest bursters come out and everything goes to hell while the predators start hunting humans and aliens alike.

Colonial Marines get sent in when communications with the colony go silent. Colonial Marines get caught in the middle of the war going on in the colony, and get their mothership blown out of the sky by the predators. Only a few colonist security forces remain to work with marines.

Colonists and marines try to survive alien attacks and being hunted by predators, while trying to find a way to get off the planet or update the Colonial Marine Fleet (or Colonial Navy, if such a thing exists) as to the situation.

Marines manage to get off a communication, a number of CM ships arrive and teams are sent in to harvest some alien eggs while fighting is still going on. Colonial Marine ships in orbit manage to shoot down the predator ship, which gets off it's own distress call.

They nuke the whole colony from orbit after the few surviving teams make it back with harvested eggs. They travel back to earth.

Of course this being a set-up for the sequel, things go bad during cryo-stasis back to earth. The face huggers get loose and impregnate the crew. Chestbursters pop out and kill the crew, the ships that had the facehugger problems crashland on earth.

and a set-up for the sequel is complete. Aliens ready to wipe out mankind off the face of the earth, with predators on the way after having found the blackbox from the ship that got shot down .

[GobotFool]

You know what they've really got to do here.  Ditch the human side.  In fact, get rid of the human aspect all together - it's ALIENS vs. PREDATORS.  Don't throw humans in there to make it so there's something we can relate to - give us a movie about a Predator hunting party, going after an alien queen.  Or a group of young adult Predators, led by a blooded adult, going out on their first hunt against the hard meat.  Not this crap...

393931[/snapback]

Yes yes, lets have a teen predator angst movie.

[EXO]

I always thought ALIEN3 shouldve taken place in Gateway... the medical/docking station that Ripley was in in Aliens. So close to Earth, but still in space.

[Mr March]

Ain't it cool news? You must be joking...or currently receiving an enema.

Rest assured, I paid nothing to watch AVP in the theatre (except my sanity). I can also further assure you that I will not be seeing the sequel unless neither myself or anyone I like has to pay for it.

As for the script and the fate of the AVP "franchise", it is no longer worth any attention or debate. However, it is good to know that I'm not missing anything

[Sumdumgai]

They might as well slap Sigourney Weaver with a bigass check and do Alien 5: Aliens Vs Ripley (or Ripley Vs Predator, as in post-Resurrection Ripley that doesn't take crap from anyone anymore). I mean the Aliens franchise is basically "ruin Ripley's life until she dies, then ruin it more by cloning her to bring back aliens".

Hell after Terminator 3, they might as well do Aliens vs Predator vs Terminator. Predators arrive on Earth post-judgement day to hunt the machines and humans, and drop some facehuggers to bring in some aliens into the fray. Oh hey! We can add Robocop into the mixture somehow!

[Apollo Leader]

We can add Robocop into the mixture somehow!

393962[/snapback]

There was a Robocop vs. Terminator comic by Dark Horse, so be careful what you ask for.

The first AVP I enjoyed more then the last two Alien movies and the second Predator movie and thought that AVP was an okay popcorn action movie, but this sequel looks a lot less promising then the first... Either AVP should have been a complete stand alone film or the sequel should have been set in the future like in the original comic book or the original AVP submitted script from 1991.

[Phalanx]

I fyou ask me, I really think that they should've waited several more years to release a sequel by using all that time to think of a fresh and captivating plot to make this sequel worth watching. I agree that they should really not put any humans in the movie and just let it focus on the predators and the aliens going at it. They should call AVP2 Reloaded or AVP Revolution if they plan on doing a sequel. Hell, I'd rather face a room full of pitbulls with some porkchops strapped to my droz than see this piece of crap for a sequel. Even better, they should make Riply go up aginst the aliens from DOOM!

Edited April 24, 2006 by Phalanx

[Black Valkyrie]

They never learn. At least they should have sticked to the original AVP comic story or is it to much to do it. As for the single Alien and Predator franchise its better to leave them.

[yellowlightman]

They might as well slap Sigourney Weaver with a bigass check and do Alien 5: Aliens Vs Ripley (or Ripley Vs Predator, as in post-Resurrection Ripley that doesn't take crap from anyone anymore).  I mean the Aliens franchise is basically "ruin Ripley's life until she dies, then ruin it more by cloning her to bring back aliens".

393962[/snapback]

Ripley didn't exactly take a lot of poo in ALIEN and ALIENS, either.

Still, I think Weaver is getting too old and by now I'm sure she's lost interest. It's really a shame how badly ALIEN3 farted the series, basically invalidated all of ALIENS by killing off Hicks and Newt like nothing.

If the ALIEN franchise was going to make any attempt at decency I would say go back and ignore everything after ALIENS. Pick up 15 years after ALIENS with Newt kicking ALIEN ass.

[Sundown]

I always thought ALIEN3 shouldve taken place in Gateway... the medical/docking station that Ripley was in in Aliens.  So close to Earth, but still in space.

393955[/snapback]

That would have been perfect. A somewhat reoccuring theme in Alien/Aliens is making it to a place of safety, getting a breather, only to find it threatened by aliens again. There's just no refuge from them even so close to home. And it was even perfectly foreshadowed by Ripley's own dream in Aliens.

Synopsis: Aliens wreak havoc on Gateway. Survivors fend for their lives. Earth promises to send help, but of course, it will "take time". People die... the situation gets desperate.

In response, Earth reports that threat of contamination is now too great, and no rescue team will be coming. The survivors are now the most alone people in the world, cut off from their home still visible outside their window.

Of course, in reality, the rescue mission has changed into a xenoform retrieval mission. Under advice from Weyland Utani, it's determined that the mission could be performed with less risk and complication if the human factor was allowed to "elapse". Alternatively, the mission might simply be an extermination mission, but an attached Weyland Utani advisor of course has his own agenda. Either way, no one expects the survivors to last as long as they do, who are now caught right in the middle.

By movies' end, Gateway blows up. I don't know how or why. It just has to.

Pick up 15 years after ALIENS with Newt kicking ALIEN ass.

Also cool. Mostly.

Edited April 24, 2006 by Sundown

[azrael]

Please...someone fire the scribe and find a new writer. Please. Even Moriarty's comments couldn't help me digest this junk.

[Zentrandude]

They might as well slap Sigourney Weaver with a bigass check and do Alien 5: Aliens Vs Ripley (or Ripley Vs Predator, as in post-Resurrection Ripley that doesn't take crap from anyone anymore).  I mean the Aliens franchise is basically "ruin Ripley's life until she dies, then ruin it more by cloning her to bring back aliens".

Hell after Terminator 3, they might as well do Aliens vs Predator vs Terminator.  Predators arrive on Earth post-judgement day to hunt the machines and humans, and drop some facehuggers to bring in some aliens into the fray.  Oh hey!  We can add Robocop into the mixture somehow!

393962[/snapback]

heh robocop may improve it.

marine: theres the alien queen lets send the shiny metal man to kill it:

murpy: my name is murphy and no.... send the ed-209s.

I take it you don't like any of the vs movies like jason vs freddy, jaws vs flipper, chucky vs the lepercon, and starship troopers vs colonial marines.

[Macross73]

let begin on a neutral planet. NOT Earth.

4 Queens & 200 + aliens : lets see them interact and

100 + predators 15 to 20 + ships weapons galore

the plot : My first serious Hunting Party or mineral mines on the nuetral planet whatever...

have the Preds talk to each other in their language, have subtitles where needed.

same thing goes for the Aliens

Now "lets get it on!"

[Sumdumgai]

Heh, I want to see a bottle of white out versus the pages of the dragon ball manga, or a bottle of turpentine versus the cels of Dragon Ball Z. Or a nail-bat versus the people responsible for Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, and most importantly AvP and AvP 2 (can't forget HG also).

If someone could make a cool versus film, I'd happily watch it!

Oh I just remembered my favorite versus film (sort of), Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo (okay I can't remember the name of it, but it was cool).

edit: They could make things worse by showing female predators with big nasty boobies, teenage predator angst, wild hijinks, the most gruesome sex scene to hit cinema in a long time, and somehow get away with pg-13 and crappy action.

Edited April 25, 2006 by Sumdumgai

[uminoken]

AVP2!! Awesome! I'm so gonna watch that....when it comes out on Beta.

Seriously, did it do enough money on dvd to spawn a sequel???

[Twoducks]

They might as well slap Sigourney Weaver with a bigass check and do Alien 5: Aliens Vs Ripley (or Ripley Vs Predator, as in post-Resurrection Ripley that doesn't take crap from anyone anymore).  I mean the Aliens franchise is basically "ruin Ripley's life until she dies, then ruin it more by cloning her to bring back aliens".

Hell after Terminator 3, they might as well do Aliens vs Predator vs Terminator.  Predators arrive on Earth post-judgement day to hunt the machines and humans, and drop some facehuggers to bring in some aliens into the fray.  Oh hey!  We can add Robocop into the mixture somehow!

393962[/snapback]

heh robocop may improve it.

marine: theres the alien queen lets send the shiny metal man to kill it:

murpy: my name is murphy and no.... send the ed-209s.

I take it you don't like any of the vs movies like jason vs freddy, jaws vs flipper, chucky vs the lepercon, and starship troopers vs colonial marines.

394008[/snapback]

I now remember how Termi and Robo battled it out in a videogame.

Eventually we will end up seeing an AlienVsPredatorVsTerminatorVsRobocop movie. Just you wait. Hollywood retard-o-physics guaranty it.

[EXO]

Eventually we will end up seeing an AlienVsPredatorVsTerminatorVsRobocop movie. Just you wait. Hollywood retard-o-physics guaranty it.

394020[/snapback]

I'd only watch it if it was AlienVsPredatorVsTerminatorVsRobocopVs.HighlanderVs.SethBrundle... cuz that would make it totally 80's... to the max!

[Die, Alien Scum!]

Eventually we will end up seeing an AlienVsPredatorVsTerminatorVsRobocop movie. Just you wait. Hollywood retard-o-physics guaranty it.

394020[/snapback]

I'd only watch it if it was AlienVsPredatorVsTerminatorVsRobocopVs.HighlanderVs.SethBrundle... cuz that would make it totally 80's... to the max!

394021[/snapback]

What!? No Pumpinhead in that mix!? LOL!

[Rocket Punch]

Pick up 15 years after ALIENS with Newt kicking ALIEN ass.

393989[/snapback]

Didn't Dark Horse publish a mini-series with Newt and Bishop as the protagonists in the '90s?

[Guppy]

yep. that was the first ever Aliens comic books. They are great. I always lamented that Alien 3 wasn't based on them.

[jenius]

Preds talk to each other in their language, have subtitles where needed.

same thing goes for the Aliens

Gooo - you want the aliens to talk to each other? I like the thought that the Alien are really intelligent and kind of sense what needs to be done (like in Resurrection where they kill one of the Aliens in a cell so his blood will burn through the floor and they can escape) but I don't like the notion of them chatting at all. The Predators? Definitley (although I think they should be very quiet for the most part too).

This script sounds like everything it should not be. Why not remake Aliens but instead have a squad of Predators show up. Focus on a few survivors of the colony trying to reach the last means of escape on a far side of the base while avoiding both aliens and using their skirmishes as diversions.

How does a Predalien make sense? When an alien jumps out of a human it's just an alien not an alienuman.

[ogami]

I will just stick with the Alien vs. Predator acrade game by Capcom. Another AvP movie from Fox... no thanks.

[Skullsixx]

L-A-frackin'-M-E... LAME!!!!

[Graham]

Heh, Ain't It Cool News should change their name to 'It Ain't Cool News'.

Graham

[reddsun1]

*groan*

Even as I skimmed over the review at the link, the first Predator is playing on cable now. I just want to vomit all over my keyboard in disgust at the apparent utter lack of appreciation or understanding of either of the franchises' original films. But what good would that do?

Do these A--HOLES even bother to watch the original movies before they sit down and start churning out this kind of CRAP?! I hope this is a joke. Really.

[sabretooth]

it's only going to get better