"classic" Movies That You Piss On

[JsARCLIGHT]

More "classics" I piss on are any movie starring Elvis Presley... the man may be the king of rock and roll but his movies suck king size blue suede shoes.

[Mr March]

Tough to say. I suppose the thread creator should say, because it's the topic they wanted to discuss.

Using conventional wisdom (at least in the film world) a classic is defined in several ways.

- A classic film is typically a film that is highly regarded by peers, a picture that makes others stand up and take notice. This can be a new type of film genre or simply an exceptional example of an existing genre.

- A classic film often has a long history as an established work that took a long time to be surpassed if ever. This is often one reason why classic films are not categorized as such until long after their inital release, for who can predict the future?

- Often, but not always, influence determines whether to bestow the label "classic" upon a film. Well known examples of this would be Akira Kurosawa film's like Seven Samurai , Sergio Leone's A Fistfull of Dollars, or Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odessey. Again, only over time will the influence of a film become known, another reason for postponing bestowment.

Those are just some examples I can think of off the top of my head. There are of course other definition's of classics. Some say only pre-1930 films deserve "classic" status. Others argue that "classic" is a strictly Hollywood-only designation, reserved only for those Hollywood products made pre-1970. I suppose if one were pressed, a litteral, dictionary definition could be used

As one can begin to appreciate, the term isn't exactly a science.

[sabretooth]

all kubrick films blow, suck, lick, bite and eat ass.

they are just plain bad.

blade runner is a take a nap kinda film, akira was crap too.

blade was a b- at best

star wars 1-3 asstacular example of hoe to be a chocolate thief

titanic eats it raw

dr. strangelove is not funny

woody the pedophile allen blows the homeless

casablanca can stay in the shiteville library

i find that most classics chew upon the anus of rabid baboons depending on the viewer.

[Mr March]

Hehehe, love the internet

[JKeats]

I think Michael Mann's 'Heat' is way overated.

The only good part of the movie was the big gunfight when they robbed the bank. I thought the rest of the movie was terrible, with De Niro and Pacino being completely unsuitable for their roles.

I love's Mann's work on the TV shows Miami Vice & Crime Story, but to be honest have been less than impressed with his movies to date.

Graham

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::Starts tossing buckets of holy water onto Graham::

[Skull Leader]

You Pulp Fiction haters are crazy..  That movie makes me think of my testicles... Because its so awesome just like they are.

357225[/snapback]

[4chan] You win 5 million experience points and 52 internets [/4chan]

[EXO]

all kubrick films blow, suck, lick, bite and eat ass.

they are just plain bad.

blade runner is a take a nap kinda film, akira was crap too.

blade was a b- at best

star wars 1-3 asstacular example of hoe to be a chocolate thief

titanic eats it raw

dr. strangelove is not funny

woody the pedophile allen blows the homeless

casablanca can stay in the shiteville library

i find that most classics chew upon the anus of rabid baboons depending on the viewer.

357271[/snapback]

Wow, you just earned the ignore button... it's so easy to say things like that, but I bet if you list the names of films you consider classic it'll be something close to a gayathon...

see I can do it too!

[EXO]

I think Michael Mann's 'Heat' is way overated.

The only good part of the movie was the big gunfight when they robbed the bank. I thought the rest of the movie was terrible, with De Niro and Pacino being completely unsuitable for their roles.

I love's Mann's work on the TV shows Miami Vice & Crime Story, but to be honest have been less than impressed with his movies to date.

Graham

357229[/snapback]

I said the same exact thing about Heat in another thread. I might disagree with other movies because I think Collateral and Last Of The Mohicans...

But man, that first season of Crime Story was awesome.

[Graham]

dr. strangelove is not funny

357271[/snapback]

IMO Dr.Strangelove is one of the funniest movies ever made.

Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Graham

[Graham]

But man, that first season of Crime Story was awesome.

357283[/snapback]

Can't argue with that. Some of the best TV ever made IMO.

Graham

[Duke Togo]

dr. strangelove is not funny

357271[/snapback]

IMO Dr.Strangelove is one of the funniest movies ever made.

Different strokes for different folks I suppose.

Graham

357293[/snapback]

There are some people who need dick & fart jokes to make them laugh. Then there are those of us who appreciate and love dry humor, witt, sarcasm, satire, and just plain old dark humor. If you love American Pie type movies, you won't like Dr Strangelove.

Personally, I think Peter Sellers is one of the very best comedic actors who ever lived. If you can appreciate a movie like Being There, you are ok in my book.

[Graham]

Peter Sellers was a comic genius.

So-called modern day comedic actors like Chris Rock & Adam Sandler are not in the least funny, just plain annoying IMO.

Graham

[EXO]

Another bad "classic" I just happened to think of (because there's a new film about Truman Capote) is the 1967 film "In Cold Blood" I was invited to a screening of this 'gem' and I was going out of my mind of boredom... too bad I didn't drive cuz I wanted to walk out so badly.

Speaking of movies about killers, does anyone remember 'Henry: Portrait Of a Serial Killer'?

[ComicKaze]

My understanding is that the "Directors Cut" was a rush job to re-cut the film for the '93 release, the running time is the same but the edit points are different.

357096[/snapback]

AFIK, what we know as the "Director's Cut" is simply a restored version of the original theatrical cut with some minor alterations suggested by Scott. At the same time as the BR retoration was going on, he was working on what would have been the real director's cut, based off of the rediscovery of the fabled workprint. This version was, sadly, stillborn and there was only time to work in a couple of minor chages into what became the director's cut. The only changes are the deletion of Ford's narration (with some minor edits to music & sound to smooth over the gaps in the soundtrack), the unicorn scene, and the elimination of the "happy" ending.

357101[/snapback]

The happy ending from Blade Runner was hilariously taken from the Shining. What was sad about Blade Runner was the lost potential for that amazing universe it created. I played the Blade Runner PC game from many years back and that just blew me away, putting me into that universe again, this time with open ended choices and randomness.

Make me want to resurrect the "Science Fiction Moments in MS Paint" Thread

I'm in this course right now where I have to sit through 8 hours of Chaplin films for 5 days straight and yes, I am hating them all now.

2001 is one of those films that just didn't do anything for me. Simply amazing for the special effects and aesthetic design of the technology (more futuristic than 1986 sequel, or much of industrial design these days)...but the actual film was just blah.

Edited January 4, 2006 by ComicKaze

[Zentrandude]

all kubrick films blow, suck, lick, bite and eat ass.

they are just plain bad.

blade runner is a take a nap kinda film, akira was crap too.

blade was a b- at best

star wars 1-3 asstacular example of hoe to be a chocolate thief

titanic eats it raw

dr. strangelove is not funny

woody the pedophile allen blows the homeless

casablanca can stay in the shiteville library

i find that most classics chew upon the anus of rabid baboons depending on the viewer.

357271[/snapback]

Its the last song weird al sings before he dies from od after taking 5 pounds of crack.

[areaseven]

Just about any film version of War of the Worlds is completely overrated, even though I've never seen the recent one. The 1953 version bored the hell out of me. As a matter of fact, Independence Day executed the whole concept better than any of the film adaptations.

And while we're at it, how about the 2002 version of The Time Machine? Simon Wells may be the great-grandson of H.G. Wells, but he can't direct his way out of a paper bag.

Edited January 4, 2006 by areaseven

[Mechamaniac]

Easy Rider

I wholeheartedly agree with "Easy Rider", I for one was happy to see those dirty, drug smuggling hippies get blown away at the end. I'm not a fan of the rednecks that did them either, but given the choice between gap-toothed, inbred redneck and pretentious, "I'm better than you because I'm rebelling......man" hippie, I'll take the redneck any day.

Few things in the world make me happier than a dead hippie. Come to think of it, "Easy Rider" winds up with two dead hippies, so by that logic, it could also be considered a GREAT film....hmmmm, now I have a conundrum.

Blade Runner

I'm right there with Graham and the few others who prefer the narrated version of "Blade Runner". Blade Runner is an all around great film IMHO, when served with the correct side dishes like the narration. Sans narration, too much is left out of the film. And I totally agree with the comments about Roy Batty, his final scene steals the entire movie.

Matrix Overrated crap. Never liked any of them, not a single one.

Tarantino Overrated crap. Agreed with whomever said they hated his stuff. I suppose these days that working in a video store, watching tons of movies, ripping off the best scenes of all of them, and inserting lots of pointless "banter" dialogue can make anyone a great director...meh.

Titanic Another conundrum....a horrid movie, but we get to watch overrated actor extraordinaire Leo DiCaprio die, so in one respect, it blows, in the other respect, a GREAT film.

Odd that so much discussion has gone on about Blade Runner, and yet no discussion about the equally lauded/hated and numerous cuts of DUNE. I for one, prefer the version they always show on TV with the scenes that were left out of the DD Laurentis version that we got on DVD here in the states. IMHO, DUNE suffers the same fate as Blade Runner, viewed in the correct format, it's a great film, but minus one small element, and it becomes painful to watch. And I won't even start on that craptastic miniseries they made.

Edited January 4, 2006 by Mechamaniac

[Fortress_Maximus]

This thread keeps getting more interesting everytime I revisit. TOO DAMN FUNNAY!

Edited January 4, 2006 by Fortress_Maximus

[kanata67]

Easy Rider

I wholeheartedly agree with "Easy Rider", I for one was happy to see those dirty, drug smuggling hippies get blown away at the end.  I'm not a fan of the rednecks that did them either, but given the choice between gap-toothed, inbred redneck and pretentious, "I'm better than you because I'm rebelling......man" hippie, I'll take the redneck any day. 

some hippie's might take offence to that

wait... I have a job and shower so I guess I'm just a pot-head so carry on

"alice's resteraunt" and a slew of other movies rated there with it. Butterfield 8, whatever eastwood movie where he got stalked... "play misty for me" I believe it was called.

More "classics" I piss on are any movie starring Elvis Presley... the man may be the king of rock and roll but his movies suck king size blue suede shoes.

what about viva las-vegas?!?!? I got my scale gt-40 from you so I know you loved that flic despite elvis... just for the cars

So what is the cutoff year we should use to define classic? Or is there another criteria rather than just age?

Graham

I'd say 20 years sound about right... maybe as new as 15. I get confused because your car has to be 25yrs+ to get a antique plate in FL and 15yr's + to get a classic plate... neither of which is offered any more so really moot. I'd say at least before 1985... although I soooooo wanted to complain about the broderick godzilla it's not even funny. #hits of acid and the best part of the night was talking with the tow truck driver as he jimmied my friend door in the theatre parking lot because my friend locked the keys in it. Yeah... he was on acid to

let me think... older movies...

anything by stephen kind besides the original shining and silver bullet. Silver bullet wasn't good mind you... but at least it matched the book.

Dune... till I realized I watched the edited version when I saw the 6hr version one night... which rocked

musicals... though somebody said that quite well already. Not once in my life have I felt the desire to start singing in public and start a square dance let me tell you... maybe a mosh pit... but I still didn't sing

ET... god I hate that friggin movie !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how about the toxic avenger?!?! yeah trauma films are funny in a [now] campy sort of way but it sure didn't live up to the hype.

night of the comet

a boy and his dog! one of my favorite stories by one of my favorite authors... and a great introduction to that ass-bag from miami vice, but the movie just didn't do it for me.

somebody considers woody allen classic?!?!? was he it casino royale? Even slaughterhouse5 sucked compared to the book.

was telly sevalis in any films before he had to start doing players club commercials to pay off his mob debt?

was stalone ever in a good movie besides rambo [barely], demolishion man [saved only by dennis, stalone still sucked] and deathrace 2000 [good only because he died]? I will refrain from arnie bashing as A1 might have found out where I live by now

[Jemstone]

The mainstream appeal of Blade Runner isn't Harrison Ford or the directors vs theatrical cuts - its Rutger Hauer as Roy Batty. Its sad to see Hauer hamming it up in bad vampire movies and Smallville now, but as Roy Batty he just owned the movie.

For years since 1987 or so when I was in the 4th grade, I wanted to see Rutger Hauer play Magneto if there ever was an X-men film just cuz of his role as Batty. I wanted that so badly. Sadly that never came to pass. He MADE Blade Runner for me.

Classic I can never sit through is Dune. I have yet tos ee the whole film as a whole because I have yet to not falla sleep watching it.

Rosemary's Baby is the only other "classic" that was let down. I didn't find it scary at all.

Edited January 4, 2006 by Jemstone

[Agent ONE]

So what is the cutoff year we should use to define classic? Or is there another criteria rather than just age?

Graham

357251[/snapback]

Its open for interpretation... I was thinking like older movies when I started the thread, but I would definately consider movies like the Bourne series instant "classics" so it doesn't really matter.

[Majestic]

The classic I didn't particularly enjoy was "Bullitt" with Steve McQueen. After all the talk, I couldn't wait to see the famous car chase scene - which ended up much less spectacular than I had expected. I suppose at the time it was filmed it was groundbreaking, but I've seen better car chases in "Ronin", for instance.

The rest of the movie seemed to be just boring filler.

[JsARCLIGHT]

More "classics" I piss on are any movie starring Elvis Presley... the man may be the king of rock and roll but his movies suck king size blue suede shoes.

what about viva las-vegas?!?!? I got my scale gt-40 from you so I know you loved that flic despite elvis... just for the cars

Nope, all Elvis movies are pure crap. You could have Han Solo shooting Woody Allen in the groin while driving a Ferrari GTO in an Elvis movie and I'd still hate it.

Elvis movies = for me to piss on

[Agent ONE]

The classic I didn't particularly enjoy was "Bullitt" with Steve McQueen. After all the talk, I couldn't wait to see the famous car chase scene - which ended up much less spectacular than I had expected. I suppose at the time it was filmed it was groundbreaking, but I've seen better car chases in "Ronin", for instance.

The rest of the movie seemed to be just boring filler.

357403[/snapback]

I liked bullitt.. The acting was good, the car chase scene was good for the time the movie was made, which is really unfair to compare with Ronin... I didn't think the movie was awesome or anything though. As far as cop movies go, any Dirty Hary movie beats it.

[Agent ONE]

...

Classic I can never sit through is Dune. I have yet tos ee the whole film as a whole because I have yet to not falla sleep watching it.

...

357391[/snapback]

If you put together all the drugs in all the world and took em all at once that movie STILL would make no sense.

[Metal_Massacre_79]

How about "Maximum Overdrive" with the AC/DC soundtrack? That movie sucked big time. The soundtrack was the only good thing about it.

[EXO]

How about "Maximum Overdrive" with the AC/DC soundtrack? That movie sucked big time. The soundtrack was the only good thing about it.

357411[/snapback]

That's just a bad movie... we're talking about classics... movies that's been praised for years and then you end up watching it and it sucks!

[Metal_Massacre_79]

That's just a bad movie... we're talking about classics... movies that's been praised for years and then you end up watching it and it sucks!

357416[/snapback]

I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say "dude you've GOT to see this movie." The only reason why these people liked it is because they were hardcore AC/DC fans. I finally gave in and regretted every minute of it.

[ghostryder]

Clockwork Orange -

Just disturbed me, my wife got off the couch halfway through and went to bed.

How about "Maximum Overdrive" with the AC/DC soundtrack? That movie sucked big time. The soundtrack was the only good thing about it.

357411[/snapback]

This is the first time I've seen Maximum Overdrive referred to as a classic, I suppose just because of Stephen King. Truly a lame movie that failed to project the genius of Emilio Estevez. Even the AC/DC sountrack couldn't save it, say, in the way that Queen saved Flash Gordon .

Edited January 4, 2006 by ghostryder

[Agent ONE]

Clockwork Orange -

Just disturbed me, my wife got off the couch halfway through and went to bed.

...

357421[/snapback]

Not many women can take that movie, I love it though. That movie made the song "I'm singin in the Rain," a cool song.

[Mechamaniac]

Clockwork Orange -

Just disturbed me, my wife got off the couch halfway through and went to bed.

...

357421[/snapback]

Not many women can take that movie, I love it though. That movie made the song "I'm singin in the Rain," a cool song.

357423[/snapback]

I also loved the Milk Bar.

[EXO]

Clockwork Orange -

Just disturbed me, my wife got off the couch halfway through and went to bed.

...

357421[/snapback]

Not many women can take that movie, I love it though. That movie made the song "I'm singin in the Rain," a cool song.

357423[/snapback]

I also loved the Milk Bar.

357424[/snapback]

Ah... my little droogies! It's time for a little of the ultra-violence is it?

I'm suprised that that's the one movie Hollywood hasn't tried to remake. Kubrick's vision was awesome, but it was so far from the book. I would think that a book like that would have 10 or 30 remakes of it by now.

[Mr March]

Tarantino  Overrated crap.  Agreed with whomever said they hated his stuff.  I suppose these days that working in a video store, watching tons of movies, ripping off the best scenes of all of them, and inserting lots of pointless "banter" dialogue can make anyone a great director...meh.

357346[/snapback]

While I could listen to this all day and enjoy, I do have to grant Tarantino his due credit. Visually his films are stylish and structurally, some of his flicks offer new innovations for the medium. Tarantino is an auteur and he did arrive with his films at the tright time. The state of art film and avant-garde was sorely lacking for years prior to the release of Pulp Fiction. Tarantino deserves points for injecting new life into American cinema and giving film a new sense of style.

I agree his work is overrated and VERY derivative (to quote Swingers, "he totally steals everything from Scorsese") But you gotta give him his credit even if you hate his films.

[Mr March]

*snip*

Ah... my little droogies!  It's time for a little of the ultra-violence is it?

I'm suprised that that's the one movie Hollywood hasn't tried to remake.  Kubrick's vision was awesome, but it was so far from the book.  I would think that a book like that would have 10 or 30 remakes of it by now.

357425[/snapback]

I'm grateful Hollywood has kept its dirty paws off Kubrick's work, with the exception of the disasterous A.I. No more remakes I hope.

[Fortress_Maximus]

Yup I definitely hate Tarantino after Kill Bill. *yawns* I give him credit for one film Pulp Fiction, but overall he made his mark in crap films and jolted a few nearly forgotten actors into the spotlight, good for him.

Back on topic, I agree w/A1 Dune, what a snore that is right up there with the Seventh Seal as far as I am concerned.