"classic" Movies That You Piss On

[Agent ONE]

Think about it... Is there a movie out there that you heard about for years that you just HAD to see, and only to your dissapointment the movie actually sucked. List em.

For me the worst one was Easy Rider. For YEARS people told me I just had to see this, it was just "the best movie ever' or some crap like that. I finally saw it like 4 years ago. So stupid, just some bikers who were runnin drugs crusin around the country, then were killed by some NASCAR fans. So retarted.

[EXO]

Citizen Kane and The Maltese Falcon. Most movies lived up to their hype, Casablance, Gone With The Wind... but these two were absolutely boring.

[Fortress_Maximus]

Those last two films were all about the cinematography, which if you do not care about makes for damn boring films. Personally, I did not care for either of them or Easy Rider as well.

Edited January 4, 2006 by Fortress_Maximus

[Hikuro]

Don't know if Agent One would agree with me on this....Total Recall.......It was interesting for a while, and then when it got closer to the end it was dissapointing and really started to piss me off.

[Agent ONE]

Ah.. I just remembered. Breakfast at Tiffany's. That movie is not only so boring, but its portral of Asian Americans is SO offensive.

[Agent ONE]

Don't know if Agent One would agree with me on this....Total Recall.......It was interesting for a while, and then when it got closer to the end it was dissapointing and really started to piss me off.

357072[/snapback]

Its certainly not my favorite Oak movie. But I am glad you consider it a classic.

[EXO]

Those last two films were all about the cinemaphotography, which if you do not care about makes for damn boring films. Personally, I did not care for either of them or Easy Rider as well.

357071[/snapback]

I love great cinematography, it doesn't mean I'm gonna watch Michael Bay films... those are the best looking movies recently but are just excruciating to sit thru. Not that I'm comparing Orson Welles to Michael Bay.

[Sundown]

The Green Berets. Wanted to watch it because it was supposed to be sort of a war classic... unfortunately John Wayne's cool swagger doesn't make him a believable soldier when performed in the middle of combat.

And Blade Runner. While I actually like the movie, mostly for its ambience, visuals, and themes, it was a bit of a dissapointing watch given all the praise it gets. And Ford, who I thought would at least be solid and entertaining, turned out to be pretty mediocre.

It does get props for being the inspiration of so much anime... after seeing the film you realize how much Ghost In The Shell, Bubble Gum Crisis, etc. essentially rips off/is inspired by Blade Runner. The creators of those series didn't even have to work hard at adopting Blade Runner's world to Japanese culture, since Scott had essentially done it for them.

[Nied]

Blade Runner

But that comes with a caveat (one that will probably get my film degree revoked). For the longest time I had only ever seen the directors cut and just hated it (I felt the pacing was just awful), but a couple years ago I caught the theatrical cut on the Sci-Fi channel and really liked it, the editing was a lot tighter. I was more agnostic about the big things people had problems with (Harrison Ford's purposefully botched narration) or just downright mad (the happily ever after ending).

::edit::

Wow looks like Sundown and I had the same idea at the same time.

Edited January 3, 2006 by Nied

[Zentrandude]

Short circuit for me. Back then it features a robot tracked tank style movement has arms, talks and fire a laser beam. Now we just have a shorter version without arms, can't talk and no laser beam. dammit I want my laser beam that destroys tanks and APCs.

[bsu legato]

Blade Runner

But that comes with a caveat (one that will probably get my film degree revoked).  For the longest time I had only ever seen the directors cut and just hated it (I felt the pacing was just awful), but a couple years ago I caught the theatrical cut on the Sci-Fi channel and really liked it, the editing was a lot tighter.  I was more agnostic about the big things people had problems with (Harrison Ford's purposefully botched narration) or just downright mad (the happily ever after ending).

::edit::

Wow looks like Sundown and I had the same idea at the same time.

357085[/snapback]

But....the editing is the same in both versions. It probably just feels different because of Ford's narration in the theatrical cut.

[the white drew carey]

Although I didn't have to wait years to see this "great" movie as, nowadays, it is shoved down your throat at birth- I cannot stand It's A Wonderful Life.

"Look, George Bailey, the whole world would be utter hell if you weren't around!"

(In your best Jimmy Stewart voice) "Gee, comic sidekick/angel who sounds like a drunken, idiotic five-year-old, I never thought about it that way."

The only moral I ever took from that movie is to never work with your family if they are incompetent idiots.

Honorable mentions:

Unforgiven- I wanted to like this movie, but it was just sooo boring and lame. I had no sympathy for any of the characters.

Mystic River- It may seem like I'm bashing on Eastwood as a director, and maybe I am, but a LOT of things made this movie suck. Sean Penn's anguished wails of a emotionally stricken father equal, if not surpass, Brad Pitt's hilarious distraught/angry moaning at the end of Se7en.

Edited January 3, 2006 by the white drew carey

[Agent ONE]

Although I didn't have to wait years to see this "great" movie as, nowadays, it is shoved down your throat at birth- I cannot stand It's A Wonderful Life.

"Look, George Bailey, the whole world would be utter hell if you weren't around!"

(In your best Jimmy Stewart voice) "Gee, comic sidekick/angel who sounds like a drunken, idiotic five-year-old, I never thought about it that way."

The only moral I ever took from that movie is to never work with your family if they are incompetent idiots.

....

I am SO with ya on Its a Wonderfull Life, in fact Jimmie Stewart is unwatchable IMO.

[chrono]

ANY John Wayne movie. God the guy couldn't act.

The Birds ugh! it's horrible!!

[Nied]

Blade Runner

But that comes with a caveat (one that will probably get my film degree revoked).  For the longest time I had only ever seen the directors cut and just hated it (I felt the pacing was just awful), but a couple years ago I caught the theatrical cut on the Sci-Fi channel and really liked it, the editing was a lot tighter.  I was more agnostic about the big things people had problems with (Harrison Ford's purposefully botched narration) or just downright mad (the happily ever after ending).

::edit::

Wow looks like Sundown and I had the same idea at the same time.

357085[/snapback]

But....the editing is the same in both versions. It probably just feels different because of Ford's narration in the theatrical cut.

357087[/snapback]

My understanding is that the "Directors Cut" was a rush job to re-cut the film for the '93 release, the running time is the same but the edit points are different.

[Nied]

I am SO with ya on Its a Wonderfull Life, in fact Jimmie Stewart is unwatchable IMO.

357094[/snapback]

What about Vertigo?

[Nied]

ANY John Wayne movie. God the guy couldn't act.

The Birds ugh! it's horrible!!

357095[/snapback]

That was the idea:

The story I heard is that during the production of Psycho Hitchcock bragged that he was such a good director he could make anything scary, to which someone replied to by pointing at a nearby sparrow and saying "Oh yeah Al then make a scary bird movie," and the rest is history. I don't know if that's apocryphal or not but it's a pretty funny story.

[Duke Togo]

Easy Rider is a flat out horrid movie.

Citizen Kane is what it is because it changed the way movies looked forever. What Orson Welles did with shots and angles has influenced every director that has come since. No single other movie in the history of film has had the influence that Citizen Kane has.

Personally, I adore Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Jimmy Stewart is one of my favorite actors.

[bsu legato]

My understanding is that the "Directors Cut" was a rush job to re-cut the film for the '93 release, the running time is the same but the edit points are different.

357096[/snapback]

AFIK, what we know as the "Director's Cut" is simply a restored version of the original theatrical cut with some minor alterations suggested by Scott. At the same time as the BR retoration was going on, he was working on what would have been the real director's cut, based off of the rediscovery of the fabled workprint. This version was, sadly, stillborn and there was only time to work in a couple of minor chages into what became the director's cut. The only changes are the deletion of Ford's narration (with some minor edits to music & sound to smooth over the gaps in the soundtrack), the unicorn scene, and the elimination of the "happy" ending.

[Agent ONE]

Easy Rider is a flat out horrid movie.

Citizen Kane is what it is because it changed the way movies looked forever. What Orson Welles did with shots and angles has influenced every director that has come since. No single other movie in the history of film has had the influence that Citizen Kane has.

Personally, I adore Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Jimmy Stewart is one of my favorite actors.

357100[/snapback]

YOU like Jimmy Stewart!??? Next you are going to tell me you like the Mets.

[Duke Togo]

Easy Rider is a flat out horrid movie.

Citizen Kane is what it is because it changed the way movies looked forever. What Orson Welles did with shots and angles has influenced every director that has come since. No single other movie in the history of film has had the influence that Citizen Kane has.

Personally, I adore Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Jimmy Stewart is one of my favorite actors.

357100[/snapback]

YOU like Jimmy Stewart!??? Next you are going to tell me you like the Mets.

357103[/snapback]

Cary Grant is actually my favorite actor of all time. I love Katharine Hepburn, as well. I love old film, what can I say?

[EXO]

Easy Rider is a flat out horrid movie.

Citizen Kane is what it is because it changed the way movies looked forever. What Orson Welles did with shots and angles has influenced every director that has come since. No single other movie in the history of film has had the influence that Citizen Kane has.

Personally, I adore Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Jimmy Stewart is one of my favorite actors.

357100[/snapback]

I have no doubt techinically that CK was a great movie... but as a movie itself it wholly not interesting. I Love Lucy was revolutionary as a TV sitcom... but I really can't watch that anymore.

Jimmy Stewart is one of my favorite actors as well. Shenandoah is one great epic.

[Agent ONE]

Maybe EXO and DT were separated at birth..

[Sundown]

For the longest time I had only ever seen the directors cut and just hated it (I felt the pacing was just awful), but a couple years ago I caught the theatrical cut on the Sci-Fi channel and really liked it, the editing was a lot tighter.

I also saw the Director's Cut first, and felt that it dragged a bit. I guess I wanted thicker dialogue, or something to break up all the other slow, sparse, and plodding character exchanges. Not sure I like the theatrical release, since Ford gives an even worse performance narrating than he does in front of the camera, but it does break up some of the film's slowness. Unfortunately, it also feels a bit out of place and makes Blade Runner feel a little cheaper.

I still feel kind of dirty mentioning Blade Runner, since I actually do like the movie quite a bit. It's presentation is phenomenal for its time, especially as a serious and artistic sci-fi movie that wasn't just a popcorn special effects vehicle. I just think it could have been a much tighter film as a whole, but I don't think that's the film Scott wanted to make.

[promethuem5]

Gotta put another vote in for Blade Runner.... so much hype as a quintessential Sci-Fi movie, and yet, before halfway through I couldn't seem to justify to myself why exactly I was watching it... so dark and hard to see, so boring, such a crappy ending... and Harrison Ford was pretty sucky in it, and I usually love him. The special effects of the building and the vehicles was impressive though.

And I'm not exactly sure how anyone could actually NOT like It's a Wonderful Life. Aside from presents this movie is the holiday season's only redeeming feature...

Edited January 3, 2006 by promethuem5

[mechaninac]

Any and all musicals, from the inception of talkies to the present...just insert your title here and I guarantee it I'll barf all over it. I just can't stand musicals; they suck more than anything that has ever sucked in the past, anything that sucks presently, or anything that will ever suck in the future. A story is built up, drama is established, or humor, or suspense, whatever...and then the actors break into a song and dance number that completely spoils whatever mood had been established...ugh, don't get me started.

[JsARCLIGHT]

Every single Woody Allen movie.

Sure I may have chuckled at one at one time in the past but almost all of them are just him being a neurotic weenie... even the ones he's not in.

[the white drew carey]

Every single Woody Allen movie.

Sure I may have chuckled at one at one time in the past but almost all of them are just him being a neurotic weenie... even the ones he's not in.

357114[/snapback]

Agreed, with the possible exception of What's Up, Tiger Lily?, I get a chuckle out of that. But then again, it's not really a "Woody Allen" movie.

[yellowlightman]

I agree with the hate on Citizen Kane, influential or not it's a painful movie to sit through. Both times I tried to do so I fell asleep, so I just stopped caring.

It's not quite a "classic" yet, but I absolutely loathe The Matrix. Partially because it got way more acclaim than it deserved and partially because it's a derivative, boring movie.

[Ginrai]

This is probably just going to get me hate, but what the hell. Have you guys ever actually watched film noir or German Expressionist films?

Blade Runner was supposed to be a callback to that. That is what the narration is about. That is why it's so dark. You can complain that Harrison Ford is mediocre, but the whole point is that his character is a loser. His LIFE is mediocre. The world's poo, and so is he.

If you read interviews with Ford about the movie he had a miserable time, partly because he hated Sean Young (who played Rachael) and largely because he was "a detective who didn't detect anything", and you know, a loser. Ford's good roles are always where he gets to have fun and be a bigger than life guy who rules and everyone loves him.

No wonder he was miserable. His character was.

Anyway, I don't think he botched the narration on purpose (also apocryphal), I think he was just miserable, and he SOUNDS miserable in the narration, which is exactly what he's supposed to be. Noir and German Expressionist film can be hard to watch for a lot of people, because it's no fun. The world blows, your main characters gets poo on, and nothing is solved in the end, or everyone's dead, or the main character is ruined, et cetera. It's intentionally bleak and miserable, and Blade Runner was just echoing that.

A big point of those old films was the art direction. A central point of Expressionist art in general is that the external world reflects the internal world. Good examples: In The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, with its borderline insane characters, the world is twisted and bizarre. In M, a serial killer is murdering (and possibly raping) children and the police is too incompetent to catch him, so they just hassle the "respectable" criminals (gangsters and prostitutes, etc.). The criminals catch the murderer. The world is a horrible place, and the art direction reflects this. Everything is dirty and broken down, dark and shadowy. That's what Expressionist/noir film is like. I think you guys don't like Blade Runner because you want a sci-fi action adventure like The Matrix or something. Blade Runner has zero interest in being that kind of film.

As for the Director's Cut, bleh. I've read the original screenplay and the final shooting screenplay. Ridley Scott's unicorn scene is not in it. It sucks, too, because it removes the intentional ambiguity in the film. It's supposed to be that you're not sure if Deckard is a replicant or not. He's a loser and he's kind of inhuman. A big point of the movie is that the replicants are -still people-. Look at how tortured Roy is by his own mortality. He's a bad guy, sure, but he's still relatable. Our HERO is the empty one. More human than human, remember? Anyway, another problem is that again, Blade Runner was supposed to be noir, and a hallmark of noir is voice over narration. The movie is really slow and kind of vauge without it. Seriously, there are scenes that make no damn sense without the narration. I mean, yes, noir typically has a measured pace, but yeah, voice over narration makes it go by faster. Without it, Blade Runner is just plodding. And while I think the "happy" ending sucks, the non-ending of the Director's Cut sucks worse. What, the film just STOPS? Lame. In the screenplay isn't not like that. The original ending has Deckard and Rachael escaping together, and then he kills her so that Gaff can't do it. The final shooting screenplay isn't as bleak: it ends with Deckard and Rachael trying to escape and Gaff chasing them. That closure is nice because you know that Gaff is just playing with them, giving them time to escape to make the chase more fun. In the Director's Cut you're like, "What, Gaff just let them go? This is bullshit."

Anyway, as someone has already said, the Director's Cut isn't even really a director's cut. Some studio douchebags rushed it out the door with vauge input from Scott.

Rumor has it a new DVD set of BR will come out with the vaporware actual director's cut, original theatrical cut, and the longer original home video cut (which is like the euro cut, in that in contains more violence and swearing than either the theatrical cut or the Director's Cut we have now), but we'll see if that ever actually happens.

[Agent ONE]

Thumbs up on the John Wayne movies... That guy may have been cool in his time, but now he just seems like a fat ass blow hard.

[Ginrai]

Couple of other things: Citizen Kane, I feel you on that one. I had to sit through that like four times in film school. Yeck. The deep focus technique that everyone talks about really was revolutionary. However, that innovation belongs to the cinematographer Gregg Toland who was already an established cinematographer while Orson Welles was still pretty much a newbie at directing.

It kind of sucks that Welles gets all the credit when it was really Toland that made it an important film. Still, important does not equal GOOD. In fact, critics hated Citizen Kane when it came out. It wasn't until years later when other critics (notably the same group of French film scholars who coined the term film noir and went on to inspire or create the French new wave films) decided it was important.

It's still overlong and kind of dull and has a script that's just a thinly veiled kind of one-sided biography of William Randolph Hearst. And I don't think the acting is that great either. But Jesus, don't tell my (former) professors that!

[Duke Togo]

It's not quite a "classic" yet, but I absolutely loathe The Matrix. Partially because it got way more acclaim than it deserved and partially because it's a derivative, boring movie.

357117[/snapback]

I agree, The Matrix is total shite in my book.

[EXO]

This is probably just going to get me hate...

357120[/snapback]

not from me... (Keith maybe) but I agree.

Thumbs up on the John Wayne movies... That guy may have been cool in his time, but now he just seems like a fat ass blow hard.

357121[/snapback]

That's the thing about this thread though... Maybe Citizen Kane was a great movie but we've been saturated over the years with the demand for more accuracy and different acting styles that old legends don't hold up. John Wayne was looked up to at the time but his characters were so one dimensional. Now we have troubled heroes and more humanized villlains. If you compare John Wayne to other actors of the time he always took the action roles. Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart took the everyday man as hero types... Lets face it... John Wayne was the Arnie of his day except he never got knocked up.

[Ginrai]

Oh, and I don't really like It's A Wonderful Life either, but I think Vertigo is absolutely brilliant.

I also agree that the Matrix is not a very good movie, and the entire time I was watching it in the theatre my friend and I kept pointing out things like, "Oh! This is stolen from Neuromancer!" "Hey look, this one is from a Philip K. Dick story!" Eck.

And since I'm blabbing so much in this thread anyway, I think Star Wars is overrated as hell.

Lucas ripped off a Kurosawa film, set it in outer space, it has hammy acting, really bad dialogue, and extremely bad hair.