Jump to content

Trailer For Dead Or Alive The Movie


Recommended Posts

Oh man... this was one of those things that, whenever I saw they'd cast Devon Aoki as Kasumi, I knew it'd be a travesty. But I finally brought myself to watch the trailer, and I've realized that Dead or Alive is the worst movie ever. Of all time. A movie so bad that, in 1,000 years, people who see bad films/holovids/etc at where ever people go to do such things 1,000 years from now, they will say to themselves, "That sucked, but it was better than Dead or Alive." The movie sucks so bad that its very existance is a violation of natural laws. This movie sucks so bad that I wish they would have got Uwe Boll for the director, because not even his movies suck this badly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I stopped about halfway through the trailor. I went to the bathroom and vomited. I vomited so long that I actually vomited up a cookie I ate back in the third grade. It's as if people who have never heard of the DoA franchise before took the game and tried to make it into something completely unrelated to what it was beforehand. It's so bad that I don't even think they knew they were mauling it!

-Jeremy (who isn't really a DoA fan, but is feeling pretty bad for those that ARE just now...)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

who isn't really a DoA fan, but is feeling pretty bad for those that ARE just now...

That would be me. DoA hasn't been around long enough for me to say my childhood's been raped, but maybe I could say that my late teens were molested?

What a shitty time for us DoA fans. First we have this godawful trailer letting us know that they're making a godawful movie about our beloved franchise, now we have DoA4 getting delayed... again! What the hell am I supposed to play? I beat Perfect Dark, and I'll be done with Call of Duty 2 long before DoA hits the shelves...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I doubt well ever see a really good live-action fighting game movie. The storylines for the games just don't really make good movie plots, and the characters usually look too over the top to be believable. I wouldn't have minded seeing DOA as an anime movie. It's almost like trying to make a good movie out of a good 2D shooter. In a game, you don't care about the unrealism, but it's tough to translate that onto the live-action screen without it looking cheesy. That's the same dilemma that Hollywood has with super hero movies.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This movie might actually be funny if it knows how to laugh at itself.

Sex, lots of cleavage, a couple of good creative kills, it might be worth spending 10 cents in CD-Rs and the bandwidth to download.

348530[/snapback]

That's about it. If it takes itself seriously, it's crap. If it makes fun of itself, it's still crap but at least it might be ok.

I liked Devon Aoki in Sin City, she's just absolutely wrong as Kasumi though. Basing a film on another visual media requires that the actors at least look a bit like their characters. She looks nothing like hers.

I remember when trailers were supposed to make you want to see a movie, not roll your eyes and groan. There's been why to many lousey ones of late. Either they're like this, or they give the whole film away.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's about it. If it takes itself seriously, it's crap. If it makes fun of itself, it's still crap but at least it might be ok.

350578[/snapback]

I was hoping that mentality would work for the Dukes of Hazzard movie.......Boy, was I goddamned wrong...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's about it. If it takes itself seriously, it's crap. If it makes fun of itself, it's still crap but at least it might be ok.

350578[/snapback]

:unsure:

I was hoping that mentality would work for the Dukes of Hazzard movie.......Boy, was I goddamned wrong...

350585[/snapback]

Then we are truly doomed.

:unsure:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

Makes me wonder why people have high expectations for movies based on games, I mean, if each and every single one of them sucked, why do you even continue to bother? Hollywood produces crap, so what? Simply don't watch it anymore :blink: It helps :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

well myk you just didnt stay with noir long enough cause the story does pick up and get very good

347710[/snapback]

Sidenote, Noir was dull and flat out boring, not a hell of a lot better than Lain. And I actually watched the entire fracking series for Lain b/c people insisted it got better, BULLSH*T that was biggest waste of time in my life! I don't know about myk, but I watched the first nine episodes of Noir and I was bored and completely unimpressed. *Yawns the popcorn episode, how utterly stupid!* <_<

As others have stated, the whole tough chick blasting guns like experts is totally boring. Also, it should NOT take 5+ episodes for a series to "pick up" and get better! <_< Either the series IS or IS NOT good from the get go in episode 1! I.e. Macross, Bebop, Urusei Yatsura, Full Metal Alchemist etc.

Back on topic DOA, Dead on Arrival, as others have previously stated would be better off as hardcore porn.

So they got a flat chested asian girl, which is forgivable

Or would have been, if they had bothered to cast a girl who was remotely attractive. Casting one of the fugliest "actresses" in Hollywood to play one of the hottest videogame ladies was simply an unforgivable offense. The movie simply as no redeeming elements at all.

348016[/snapback]

I completely agree! All of the chicks in the video game were hot. The best Hollywood could get was Devon?! How pathetic! There are quite a few lovely Japanese big chester pornstars that would fit the image for role of Kasumi nicely. Why I bet most of us could think of some now. :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The link on the first page may no longer go to the DOA preview BUT it did lead me to a good one. The Adaptation of Silent Hill is due out on the 21 of next month.

IT ACTUALLY DOES LOOK GOOD! Im not a fan of game based movies but i think this one will work. Partly due to the fact the games do play out cinematically so the transition is easier. looks way better than resident evil ever will.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 10 months later...

I saw the dvd on sale at Tescos this morning, and thought, what the f**k when did they make this movie, I've heard nothing about it. As usual the movie would be crap cos its based on a game.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just finished it a little bit ago. All things considering I thought it was an okay flick... okay as in B-rated, Saturday afternoon, popcorn movie "okay". Unlike Van Damme's Street Fighter, Doom, or Super Mario Brothers, I don't regret having watched it. Then again, I didn't spend a penny to watch this! :D

Since this has gone the direct-to-video route I would strongly suggest that the distributors work a deal to put this up for downloading on XBL Marketplace. Since DOA has made Xbox its home for over the last 5 years now, it would make perfect sense.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

N-no. I can't believe people actually saw the entirety of this movie. The beginning of the movie had me reminiscing about the time I had 3 root canals done in one session...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you're going to have a movie about buxom, bouncing fighting babes, then you'd better cast buxom, bouncing actresses to fill those roles and those cup sizes-they didn't in this movie...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...