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Darth Vader's Blog


Hurin

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I recently stumbled upon this: Darth Vader's Web Log

This guy should have written the prequels. :)

Obviously, he plays some of it for laughs. But, there are also some great moments where he takes the stories as already told via the movies to another level. I especially like the way he works Qui Gon into things.

It's too bad that the website layout is so bad. It's "newest entry first". . . and the archive links on the right take you to several postings. . . but you have to scroll to the bottom and read up.

Edit: This problem is now rectified since you can now choose the "read chronologically" option. Though the "Original Weblog" option is still a mess. I recommend the chronological option highly.

Check it out! It's well done!

H

Edited by Hurin
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*shrug*

I thought he was needlessly verbose.

If you hit the wrong ones, he does seem to use a few too many 10-cent words. But there are also short entries. . . and some that are quite breezy. Don't give up on it too quickly.

Here's one of my favorite (humorous) entries:

Big day. Storming the rebel ice fortress.

Took a nap first so I would be peppy. Leg feels pretty good.

Admiral Ozzol took the fleet out of hyerspace too close to Hoth, and the Rebel Alliance were -- you guessed it -- alerted to our approach.

. . . Ozzel just isn't the creative type. . .

The problem is solved now, however. I crushed his trachea with my mind, and promoted Piett to command the fleet. I have transmitted to following note to Ozzel's kin:

Dear House of Ozzel,

I regret to inform you that your son has been killed in the line of duty.

He was an incompetent, yammering boob and he will be missed by none. I have allowed the men to pillage his personal belongings, which is why we have enclosed nothing but the sole remaining item: a torn advertisements page from a magazine of midget pornography. May it shock and disturb you, and may you think of it always when you remember your dearly departed son, the ninny.

Know also that his limitations as a sub-par military professional caused the deaths of many of the Emperor's loyal soldiers, whose funeral expenses will appear on your next tax assessment.

Sincerely,

D. Vader

Too harsh? I call them as I see them.

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*shrug*

I thought he was needlessly verbose.

If you hit the wrong ones, he does seem to use a few too many 10-cent words. But there are also short entries. . . and some that are quite breezy. Don't give up on it too quickly.

Here's one of my favorite (humorous) entries:

Big day. Storming the rebel ice fortress.

Took a nap first so I would be peppy. Leg feels pretty good.

Admiral Ozzol took the fleet out of hyerspace too close to Hoth, and the Rebel Alliance were -- you guessed it -- alerted to our approach.

. . . Ozzel just isn't the creative type. . .

The problem is solved now, however. I crushed his trachea with my mind, and promoted Piett to command the fleet. I have transmitted to following note to Ozzel's kin:

Dear House of Ozzel,

I regret to inform you that your son has been killed in the line of duty.

He was an incompetent, yammering boob and he will be missed by none. I have allowed the men to pillage his personal belongings, which is why we have enclosed nothing but the sole remaining item: a torn advertisements page from a magazine of midget pornography. May it shock and disturb you, and may you think of it always when you remember your dearly departed son, the ninny.

Know also that his limitations as a sub-par military professional caused the deaths of many of the Emperor's loyal soldiers, whose funeral expenses will appear on your next tax assessment.

Sincerely,

D. Vader

Too harsh? I call them as I see them.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm gonna have to look through this one.

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Thats a lot of reading.

Just go slow and sound each word out, sweetie. You'll be okay. . .

HAHAHA.. Its not a litteracy problem, I just have no attention span. I get a few screens into it and then I notice my biceps or maybe I get an errection. No matter the case, I am not designed for reading quietly.

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I'm confused, there was another Darth Vader blog that was entirely humor am I right?

That one was pure gold, like how he kept complaining that the Death Star had too many floors or something...

This blog is way too serious, thought out...and the writing style reminds of the Tycho's Penny Arcade ramblings ... aka GROSS VERBOSITY OVERDRIVE

Edited by ComicKaze
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  • 2 months later...

Hey. . . I stumbled back upon this, and the good news is that you can now read this in a much easier-to-follow format here (choose the chronological option).

I've updated the links in the original posts as well.

Edited by Hurin
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