Downsizing the collection

[mikeszekely]

about 90% of my friends are having the same problem, and almost all guys I know married Asian women are having it worse in term of household decision, hobbies, money, and etc.. Two people really need to put everything on the table before considering starting a live together.

I married a Chinese girl. It was kind of rough for awhile... I'd call her to see if it was cool with her before I bought something, she'd say "No, we don't need it" then come home with a bag of new shoes. And she actually tried to get me to stop buying videogames (first and foremost, I'm a hardcore gamer).

Eventually, I just stopped asking her if it was cool with her if I bought stuff. I mean, it's not like she asked me. I did cut back to picking about only about two or so games a month, because realistically I was spending a bit on them. But for the most part, she learned that I don't tell her what to do or what to buy (or not buy). As long as I'm not going nuts and spending too much on games or other things and being reasonable, she can't really tell me what I can and can't do either.

[do not disturb]

she can't really tell me what I can and can't do either.

lets hope she doesn't come to the site and read that line.

[Vince]

about 90% of my friends are having the same problem, and almost all guys I know married Asian women are having it worse in term of household decision, hobbies, money, and etc.. Two people really need to put everything on the table before considering starting a live together.

I married a Chinese girl. It was kind of rough for awhile... I'd call her to see if it was cool with her before I bought something, she'd say "No, we don't need it" then come home with a bag of new shoes. And she actually tried to get me to stop buying videogames (first and foremost, I'm a hardcore gamer).

Eventually, I just stopped asking her if it was cool with her if I bought stuff. I mean, it's not like she asked me. I did cut back to picking about only about two or so games a month, because realistically I was spending a bit on them. But for the most part, she learned that I don't tell her what to do or what to buy (or not buy). As long as I'm not going nuts and spending too much on games or other things and being reasonable, she can't really tell me what I can and can't do either.

you got it easy. A few couples I know, the women started out nice and all, as soon as they are married... one of these girl were pulling in 170+k a year (which was more than her husband), quited her business right there to become a full time shopper a few years back, wouldn't drive anything smaller than a BMW 7, and spend at least 4k on clothes every month, wanted a bigger house in the most expensive part of town, I still hear her husband complain every once in a while. And two other couples were getting into things they can have and having food on the table at the same time.

But then most women are not like this.

p.s. I'm not picking on Asian women, just where I live does not have a large Asian community, words get around.

[mikeszekely]

about 90% of my friends are having the same problem, and almost all guys I know married Asian women are having it worse in term of household decision, hobbies, money, and etc.. Two people really need to put everything on the table before considering starting a live together.

I married a Chinese girl. It was kind of rough for awhile... I'd call her to see if it was cool with her before I bought something, she'd say "No, we don't need it" then come home with a bag of new shoes. And she actually tried to get me to stop buying videogames (first and foremost, I'm a hardcore gamer).

Eventually, I just stopped asking her if it was cool with her if I bought stuff. I mean, it's not like she asked me. I did cut back to picking about only about two or so games a month, because realistically I was spending a bit on them. But for the most part, she learned that I don't tell her what to do or what to buy (or not buy). As long as I'm not going nuts and spending too much on games or other things and being reasonable, she can't really tell me what I can and can't do either.

you got it easy. A few couples I know, the women started out nice and all, as soon as they are married... one of these girl were pulling in 170+k a year (which was more than her husband), quited her business right there to become a full time shopper a few years back, wouldn't drive anything smaller than a BMW 7, and spend at least 4k on clothes every month, wanted a bigger house in the most expensive part of town, I still hear her husband complain every once in a while. And two other couples were getting into things they can have and having food on the table at the same time.

But then most women are not like this.

p.s. I'm not picking on Asian women, just where I live does not have a large Asian community, words get around.

Well, if my wife spent $4000 a month on clothes without quitting her job, we'd have negative numbers, and that's without spending money on things like rent, food, etc. And if she quit her job to be a pro shopper... well, she wouldn't get very far on a retailer's salary!

As for the BMW thing... well, I'm kind of a car guy myself (although some people find it odd that my maker of choice is Mitsubishi). So naturally, in a perfect world, I'd want the car I want (and unless they start making newer ones again, that'd be a '99 Mitsubishi 3000GT VR4 Twin Turbo), and I'd want my wife to have the car she wants. It's just not a Bimmer. Almost as bad, though... right now she's into the Lexus SC 430 Convertible. But, fact is, we can't afford to restore a car, or to buy a nice luxury car. So for now, I'm keeping my '02 Mitsubishi Mirage... although we are probably going to sell her '98 Oldsmobile Intrigue before it gives us anymore grief (just in 2004, we had to replace a $400 sensor [and apparently not the right one, since the dash lights still didn't go off], a pulley and some cables that connect the steering together, and the starter... heaven help me if I ever buy another American car), and look at maybe getting a Corolla or something.

[Vince]

I guess what I tried to say was, living within their means is not very important to these folks that I know, status is. Some people just don't think hard enough.

But then don't take me too seriously, afterall, what do I know?

[Neova]

It's boiled down to one of those situations where she wants to have the upper hand. She really wants to go out of her way to take something away from me that she knows is a big part of me. Even with the inevitable removal of the SNES titles so far, she is not satisfied.

...

Seriously, it's now a matter of time before she realizes how stupid she's being about the issue and how much she's blowing it out of proportion. And with her mother siding with me on this (A monumental first in my book) it's going to get ugly.

I find this ironic coming from someone who claims to love you, for better or for worst, in sickness and in health, til death do you part.

I want to see someone here go onto a "women's" forum and post the same thing, but from Yang's Wife's viewpoint and see what the reaction is. Create a fake account if need be. I would love to hear it.

Don't be a doormat but really, she needs to learn that it takes two to Tango and she can't lead all the time.

[Jasonc]

I take it this is from the single lonely otaku members?

Jemstone, if you read the previous posts, I put up, you'd see I don't have a problem with finding someone. It's just a matter of demanding respect for yourself and not compromising it because some skirt is gonna throw a fit because of friends and co-workers. My girlfriend knows straight up that I'm not getting rid of my stuff, nor am I gonna change just so I can make someone else happy at the expense of my own happiness.

Oddly enough, my GF respects me more for the fact that have these interest that are somewhat different from the norm. I'm not in dorkville about it, but having a few Valks on display and my huge anime collection is my decision, and to hell with what others think.

[Jin_Kune_Do]

Damm Yang... i really feel for you brother.

You´ve gotten some good advice on how to "solve" the problem, but damm...that is really wrong of her to ask you to do that, knowing how much your collection means to you. It would be more understandable if you was taking drugs or some poo like that, but to get rid of your collection? Atleast your hobby is harmless.

I dont mean to offend you or anyone, but the first thing that came to my midn when i read ur post was....

"id bitch slap her"

I hope it works out for the better. Ill keep my fingers crossed for you.

- Jin

[Jemstone]

I take it this is from the single lonely otaku members?

Jemstone, if you read the previous posts, I put up, you'd see I don't have a problem with finding someone. It's just a matter of demanding respect for yourself and not compromising it because some skirt is gonna throw a fit because of friends and co-workers. My girlfriend knows straight up that I'm not getting rid of my stuff, nor am I gonna change just so I can make someone else happy at the expense of my own happiness.

Oddly enough, my GF respects me more for the fact that have these interest that are somewhat different from the norm. I'm not in dorkville about it, but having a few Valks on display and my huge anime collection is my decision, and to hell with what others think.