Downsizing the collection

[Yang_Neumann]

While the final say is still up in the air, my wife, who will never understand my love (See: Obsession) with anime and video games, has once again brought up the subject of downsizing my collection of anime, wanting to get rid of all my VHS copies of any animation I have left. This includes the Rumic World collection, Guyver: Out of control OAV, and a multitude of titles that never made it to DVD. I have no one but myself to blame, as I told her I was slowly but surely going to weed out my videocassettes and convert what titles I have on tape to the DVD format once it was available as a hard-copy. But now she's wanting to get rid of six of the nine consoles I own and five of the six handhelds in my collection. Just a heads up to all of you that ometime next month you may see a few eBay auctions with my name attached to them. Were talking about a NES top loading unit with 40+ titles (yawn), a SNES with 60+ titles (Including Secret of Mana, Secret of Evermore, Breath of Fire, and almost every single Capcom and Konami title under the sun), Genesis CDX w/44 games (Phantasy Stars, Thunder Forces, Gunstar Heroes, Dynamite Headdy and Shadowrun galore), TG16 CD (Super CD Rom upgrade card included) w/ 23 games, Sega Saturn with 25 games (All 3 Panzer Dragoons), and a Dreamcast with 22 games (If Radiant Silvergun and Tech Romancer don't grab your attention, what will?). On the handheld front, I'm not going to complain about all of them. I will say that my Sega Nomad (Ranked #2 between Nintendo's handheld wonder and the short lived Turbo Express IMO) as well as Sega Game Gear with 20 games and a rechargable battery pack AND a carrying case AND a Master Gear Converter AND a TV tuner are on the line. I leave this post as a last ditch effort to convince my wife that this is not just kids stuff-as if the ESRB and the PTC hasn't proven that to us for the last ten years. Let's just hope she doesn't try to put my figures on the virtual auction block. There's no sight worse than a Black man having to fight for his right to own Valks and Dollgures. Anyway, feel free to post your testimonials on my behalf.

[Damaramu]

Ok.

Now, what of hers is she getting rid of?

[Yang_Neumann]

Well, she's promised to get rid of her copies of Glitter and Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. I'm being serious.

[Yang_Neumann]

I already removed one of my collections earlier this year. I sold all but four of my movie posters.

[Damaramu]

Whew. I guess I lucked out. Found a cute girly who's a geek just like me.

Has no problems with my videogame collection or toys.

[Yang_Neumann]

I blame it on Bellsouth. Her new trainer position there has put her in an uncomfortable frame of mind. She's worried about what her co-workers and classmates will think of her being married to a "Big Kid". She's really blowing it out of proportion, especially with her demands to get rid of fourteen years worth of consoles.

[Dat Pinche Haro!]

well...i told my g/f "would you rather i spend my money at bars and strippers or toys and dvd's" she laughed and chose the toys and dvd's...only bad part is...she's gonna make me stop drinkin' if we get married

[007-vf1]

I blame it on Bellsouth. Her new trainer position there has put her in an uncomfortable frame of mind. She's worried about what her co-workers and classmates will think of her being married to a "Big Kid". She's really blowing it out of proportion, especially with her demands to get rid of fourteen years worth of consoles.

Here we go again trying to answer the question of who came first; the chicken or the egg...

14 years of game loving must have turned you into a big geek indeed, but remember she married that big geek because those dreams are what you were made of, and now wanting you to get rid of them means she wants to change you into another man she likes "better", In my book there's something wrong with this picture...

To me the problem with this is the fact that she's "blowing it out of proportion", making fights and wanting you to get rid of ALL of the videos...

Well, keep the one or 2 consoles you like most with the minimal amount fog ames to live the enxt 20 years and buy yourself an Xbox or game cube to keep the child on you and make her understand you need to keep some if not a lot of the memorabilia that is truly meaningful to you; but please convert to DVD already....

[Anubis]

It's who you are. Could be far worse things to spend your money on.

Also clue her in into how much your collection is actually worth. That's a lot of $$$ to get rid of. (Though the $$ might be an incentive to sell). No matter what though, it's your collection, and a part of the deal attached to you. She's not giving up anything of that caliber, nor is being asked to. I's not right to tell you to lose all your gear.

Using her job as an excuse to deal with the "big kid" in you is a poor excuse, and not fair to you.

[DarkPhoenix]

Uh... If your collection isn't taking up all the room in the house why SHOULD you get rid of it? She's getting rid of... two movies? That's it? To ALL the stuff you're getting rid of? That's BS, plain and simple. Wife or not, she should not have that kind of authority.

Even if it IS taking up a lot of room, why the hell should you be forced to sell it? Put some of it in storage, maybe.. or better store it so that it takes up less room.

[BoBe-Patt]

man, if she really loved you she would put up with all that stuff. But if she's easily influenced by what other people say, then you gotta set her straight and put your foot down!! Do you really want to get rid of this stuff? Who wears the pants in the house again? Looks like she'll be wearing it from now on! All I gotta say is do what you feel is right. If you don't need these anymore than get rid of them. If you really must keep these, then keep them.

[Legend of TSXer]

Well have you thought of buying a VHS/DVD burner and transfer ur VHS tapes to DVDs and that could save space. But the consoles and games...those are ireplaceble items collected over your youth. And they did make you into the man you are today and the person she married. She shoulda realized that it was who she was marrying. Though she is dealing with it, a little comprimise is neccessary IMO. Try the VHS to DVD transfer but don't give up the game consoles. (Id still have my SNES if my Dad didnt throw it away)

[Opus]

That's really a tough call. Are material things realy worth getting upset about? if she loves you she'll accept you hobbies but also if you lve her you'll give up your hobbies. It sounds like a catch 22. Maybe you should call Dr. Phil.

[Noriko Takaya]

Dude, I feel for you. I have been collecting anime crap since 1984 and if my woman ever told me to part with it, it would probably mean war. Thank God my girlfriend understands my obsession and leaves well enough alone.

[mikeszekely]

I blame it on Bellsouth. Her new trainer position there has put her in an uncomfortable frame of mind. She's worried about what her co-workers and classmates will think of her being married to a "Big Kid". She's really blowing it out of proportion, especially with her demands to get rid of fourteen years worth of consoles.

If my wife ever told me she was worried about what her coworkers thought of me, I'd make damn sure to be as big an embarrassment as possible when I met them. I mean, I just don't get how she can ask something like that of you. It's like "you're an embarrassment, so change who you fundamentally are." You gotta lay down the law, man, before you find yourself without any toys and miserable.

[VF-1Guy]

This may just be the tip of the iceberg. It may be a good idea to put your foot down and establish some mutually acceptable ground rules before you get married. This can help smooth the transition to married life and build a good foundation for your future together.

My wife has never had a problem with my collection, but she did have an issue with how much money I spent on it. We set some mutually agreeable limits before we got married and there has never been a problem. My advice is to discuss this with her and see if you can reach a compromise with which you are both comfortable. Marriage is give and take and this is something that should never be one sided.

Edited December 27, 2004 by VF-1Guy

[Gaijin]

The door swings both ways. Reach a mutual point and you'll both be satisfied. This requires sacrifice on BOTH parts. Her and you.

On a small side note however...I'd never choose something such as anime over making my partner po'd.

[Keith]

That's a load of B.S., it's not like it's anything even remotely harmful. It's your stuff, and if you get rid of it, you might as well have your nuts clipped and hand those to her too.

[Max Jenius]

That's a load of B.S., it's not like it's anything even remotely harmful. It's your stuff, and if you get rid of it, you might as well have your nuts clipped and hand those to her too.

Bolded for truth. Neither of you should have to get rid of anything you enjoy. Perhaps a better compromise can be reached.

[Keith]

Perhaps you should invest in some kind of custom wall unit. One that houses your TV, all your systems, maybe even games, etc.

[hevangel2]

All my anime collection fit nicely in my harddisk.

Just covert your VHS to AVI or DIVX, and hide it under the hook of your computer.

Your wife will never notice all the stuff in your 2 x 200GB harddisk

As for the console systems, can't you just pack them in a box and put them in the basement? I'm sure your wife won't complain for yet another box.

[myk]

Sorry, but I couldn't even finish reading your starting post Yang. What can be more despicable than having to radically alter your lifestyle just to appease someone else? Marriage can kiss my gunpod....

I have to ask, what compromises is she willing to do for you? She can't be without her own idiosyncrasies...

[HWR MKII]

i told my wife what my hobbies were when we first met and that i would not give them up for anything. that was almost 3 years ago now and she has actually contributed to all of my hobbies. she buys games i have even gotten her to build a model or 2 that she likes. she has even bought me models and knows very well what anime is. she even loves macross as well she says its an animated soap opera with action.

have you tried to get your wife interested in your hobby? also have you shown anyinterest in hers if she has any? the whole youll embarass me thing is pretty thin what is the reason she isnt telling you? if she is asking just to keep HER social standing with her friends then it sounds like she may need new friends. i dislike people who only see others by their material posessions or get their outlook on them from said posessions. its like "oh you like video games and anime. you must be a nerd". ok so alot of us like these things. look at the people we meet and communicate with through these.

you must reach a compromise man. there is no need to trash your collection just for the sake of her coworkers.

sean

[JB0]

While the final say is still up in the air, my wife, who will never understand my love (See: Obsession) with anime and video games, has once again brought up the subject of downsizing my collection

I weep for you.

And strongly recommend you try and stop this now. Your list scares me.

But now she's wanting to get rid of six of the nine consoles I own and five of the six handhelds in my collection.

*trembles*

If it's anything like mine, that would amount to ripping the heart out of a collection and urinating on it's still-warm body.

Genesis CDX w/44 games

SHE WOULD MAKE YOU SELL A CDX?!?!?!?!

Let's just hope she doesn't try to put my figures on the virtual auction block.

Don't give her ideas.

Personally, I'd argue that the collections are part of who you are she knew what she was getting when she married you.

...

Or start rummaging through her shoes and jewelry and ask her to get it down to just a few items. See how she likes it.

[phoenix01]

Yang, she is wrong to ask this of you.

You need to ask her what is more important to her: her image at work or you. Compromise if need be, but remember you are the leader in the family. If she has a problem dealing with that, perhaps couple's counseling is in order. Maybe a "disinterested" third party might make her see the light.

[fulcy]

well...i told my g/f "would you rather i spend my money at bars and strippers or toys and dvd's" she laughed and chose the toys and dvd's...only bad part is...she's gonna make me stop drinkin' if we get married

I hear that - my gf is against drinking, and i'm basically sober by association now, since I don't want her to feel like the only person declining drinks at social gatherings...

As far as your collection goes, have you tried getting a dvd burner and putting your VHS tapes on dvd? Might make it easier and more efficient to store, and she may let you keep them then (though, I would also just tell her that i was keeping them - but that's just me... ).

[Nightbat]

If you act upon our comments, you're the same as your wife:

She's got her colleagues who don't understand you

You've got MW that doesn't understand her

Do what you want, take her comments in consideration, you want/need

to live with her, so you gotta compromise (so does she!)

To hell with her colleagues (and for her defense: to hell with MW)

Edited December 27, 2004 by Nightbat®

[Hikuro]

ahhhhhhhh the single life how I love it, yet hate it at the same time. But its something I bring about in all relationships I tell 'em, "I'm an addict..." Let them freak out at first THAN, "Wait wait, before you get it all blown outta proportion, its anime! ........and video games.............and porn........well more like Hentai which is a cartooned version of porn......but sometimes its censored and can be rather crappy.....though LA Blue Girls isn't all that bad.....and well....."

Like I said I like being single....but of all things, I'd never give up my collection......I invested so much money and now that I'm getting all my old VHS titles to DVD to then toss out my VHS, I can't stop now!

I also got a couple of grand of model kits, if you make me even so much PACK THEM I'd be devestated and undergo seperation depression like a mother and her new baby.....oooooohhhhhhh god.

............. I really don't have any hentai....yeah....hentai.....*cough*

[Kin]

This is rediculous... you should never give in to her. At least not for a second time. You need to get the upperhand.

[nightmareB4macross]

Yang,

Compromise is the number one priority to any relationship.

Believe me, my wife was a bit concerned when I rekindled my spark for collecting Macross. She was a bit worried it would change our common likes (other collecting habits). At first I went crazy and bought just about everything Macross in the 1/55, 1/60, 1/48 scales, which upset her. Then I proudly displayed them up in our "Nightmare Room" and she just frowned with having to see so many robots about the room.

She asked me when it was all going to stop and I explained to her my resurged interest. Being that I grew up pretty much poor in Los Angeles, and was not really able to afford all the cool Taka items during my childhood. She began to understand that I never had much as a kid and now that I am an adult (I think) I am able to purchase these wonderful critters with ease. Being that she had been pretty much catered to as a child she did not really understand what I meant until she saw how trully devoted I was to my cause of living my childhood dream. In time she accepted my collection, eventhough it mostly resides out of site in a seprate part the house called the "Dungeon". Still, we compromised in the sense that she understood what it meant to me but, on occassion she does purchase a valkyrie for me every now and then.

My wife is wonderful, I trully am lucky.

Edited December 27, 2004 by nightmareB4macross

[Vince]

Ok.

Now, what of hers is she getting rid of?

You don't get it, do you? once you moved in/married to a woman, she OWN you. you will never drive your new car again, even though you are paying for it. anything you bring into the house will need her approval. your anime/toy/model/sports collects will be replace with her candles, and pink stuffs. everything that used to be yours is junk, everything she let you have is hers, everything she has or going to get is hers, just that you might be paying for a lot more of them than you might want to...

just kidding, but seriously- you'll have to do exactly what she tells you, when she tells you, or else you arn't getting none.

[Max Jenius]

If anyone decides it is time for me to get rid of my toys/anime/games it will be me and me alone.

[Zentrandude]

Ok.

Now, what of hers is she getting rid of? 

You don't get it, do you? once you moved in/married to a woman, she OWN you. you will never drive your new car again, even though you are paying for it. anything you bring into the house will need her approval. your anime/toy/model/sports collects will be replace with her candles, and pink stuffs. everything that used to be yours is junk, everything she let you have is hers, everything she has or going to get is hers, just that you might be paying for a lot more of them than you might want to...

just kidding, but seriously- you'll have to do exactly what she tells you, when she tells you, or else you arn't getting none.

that might explain why the show cheaters is doing to well.

what I would do get 2 eggs and hide them in your pockets. then when she points out what item of yours of your collection she wants to get rid of, grab and shake your testicals at her then take out the eggs and throw them against the wall. She will at first be either made or puzzled at the signal you made but then say if you throw this away, your smashing my manhood into a pile of goo

[chrono]

Make a list equal in amount of her hobby's items. Be reasonable about them. Include names of any annoying friends & relatives also any at work 'friends'.

Give her the list.

She will balk at the 'demands' that you place on her. Hey she started them, your just responding 'in kind'.

Seriously though if you have the room where you live. Establish a 'den' or room that you call your own. Tell her to do the same thing. This way if the other person is embrassed about whats in the room when company is over the room can be simply closed. This allows each of you to have what you want and everyone is happy.

If she still demands that you get rid of 'your' hobby then it's time to have an adult talk of to mutually compromise, separate, or one of you becoming a slave to the other.

[Jasonc]

Honestly, I had this problem with my EX-WIFE. She kept on ranting about how she wanted me to get rid of my "childish" toys and grow up. What I knew was that her other B**** ass girlfriends kept making comments and wanted all their men to be a certain way. I didn't change when we met and after we got married, she did. That seems to be the case here. You haven't changed and you are keeping what is a part of you. Yes, they may just be toys or VHS tapes, but there's a principal here. Trust me. I've been around the block a few times and have had many things in life go good and bad. If you can compromise where you're not losing out, and if both of you can come to a happy arrangement, that's good, but just remember that like what others have said here. She married you for who you are, and those things are a part of you. For her to make you get rid of them is to in a sense, try to change you. Many problems begin with the significant other trying to change the other. Those problems need to be dealt with in a delicate, yet hastily manner. Good luck man. I'm pulling for you to keep your stuff.