Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

Aw hell, here we go....

My Big No-Talent cast for the GI Joe live action movie

Duke - Paul Walker

Gung Ho - Vin Diesel

Stalker - Ludacris

Snake Eyes - Ray Park

Help me out here, gang. Who's even less talented that could play the Cobra characters?

Posted

By the way, who writes these press releases anyway? IMBD.com has no listing for "prominent film producer" Lorenzo di Bonaventura. He's so prominent that nobody's heard of him. <_

Posted

*I am sure I am spelling all these names wrong.

Duke - Dolph Lundgren

Gung Ho - Billy Bob Thornton

Cobra Commander - Ricardo Montobon

Snake Eyes - who cares (the yo-yo doesn't even need to talk)

Destro - Mike Tyson (with a dubbed voice)

Flint - Mickey Rorque

Lt. Falcon - Ed Norton

Bazooka - Marty Stoufard (the Wild America guy)

I'll think of some more later.

Posted
Duke - Dolph Lundgren

No, no no. You see, my choice of Paul Walker is much better. Dolph is too big, whereas Paul Walker is not only a black hole for any form of onscreen charisma but he has the physical presence of a bowl of vanilla yogurt. Dolph may match Paul in the acting department, but he could at least look the part of a leader....if you squint really hard and turn your head sideways. :lol:

Posted
Aw hell, here we go....

My Big No-Talent cast for the GI Joe live action movie

Duke - Paul Walker

Gung Ho - Vin Diesel

Stalker - Ludacris

Snake Eyes - Ray Park

Help me out here, gang. Who's even less talented that could play the Cobra characters?

So you're going for the Fast & The Furious approach, eh BSU? :lol:

If you're going for the no talent approach, you can't leave out Keanu Reeves. If you do, he might think he's actually good...

Posted
If you're going for the no talent approach, you can't leave out Keanu Reeves. If you do, he might think he's actually good...

D'oh, how could I have left out Keanu? But who could he play? Maybe he could try playing a villain for a change, and bring all of his talent to the roll of Zartan!

"Whoa, I'm a chameleon!"

Posted

I say Hollywood should shut down for aobut five years. No new movies, no new anything...just re-tool the thought process. Because, this is ridiculous. Almost as bad as Brendan Fraser being tapped to play Dirk Benedict's character in the upcoming A-Team movie.

Posted

I hope it will be good, but looking at the guy producing it he primarily seems to work on kid movies. Though they are kid movies that adults can enjoy. I therefore fear that it will be more akin to the ubercrappy cartoons, and less like the much better written comics, particularly the early Larry Hama storylines. If I hear news that Larry Hama or his early staff is working on it I will be much more hopeful. Until then however I will not be looking forward to it, infact I will likely avoid it.

Posted

David McDonough(Band Of Brothers) as Duke:

neal_mcdonough.jpg

Julianne Moore as Scarlet:

julianne14.jpg

Linda Fiorentino as the baroness:

alindaf46.jpg

and finally...

Bender as Destro:

bender.jpg

Posted

whoa! a live action G.I. joe? I was wondering when this was going to happen, only because it would be alot easier to find a cast of actors for this than it would be for transformers. It would be nice to see who would be starring in this movie. :p:D:lol:

Posted

angie everheart as scarlett.

ray park would makea good snake eyes...or chuck norris since snakes is old as hell now

sho kosugi as storm shadow(hes a real ninja master anyways)I think lol

ernie reyes as younger storm shadow.

Vin Dieze;l as destro.

Tera P{atrick as baroness.

wait ernie reyes jr as kamakura or nunchuk/

wes;ley snipes as stalker.

carrot top as chuckles

sally yoshino as jinx

brock lesnar as duke

Posted

Ray Park as Snake Eyes wouldn't be a bad choice, actually. He's got all the physical ability needed for the role, and the minimum of acting skills required by a guy that hides behind a mask and can't speak.

And I agree with Micheal Clarke Duncan as Roadblock. That would just rock on so many levels :)

Vin Diesel would make a horrible Destro, since he appears to be unable to speak in anything other than low, gravelly tones. I doubt he could do the Scottish accent well.

Colin Farrel as Duke, perhaps?

Scarlett is a tough choice, but so is who they're gonna pair her with (Snake Eyes or Duke). Doubtful that they'll skip over that whole romantic subplot, anyway. Save that for the sequels.

Posted

Live action movie? Ummmmmm no. Unless I hear something in the effect of Larry Hama has his hand in it and he doesnt have restrictions, I am in no way gonna watch it. I mean, I like GI Joe but dont deface it. Hollywood has screwed up wayyyy too many movie adaptations. Hmmm let's list them:

Rocky and Bullwinkle

Tomb Raider

The Phantom

Hulk

He-man

Double Dragon

Mortal Kombat (has a kick @ss soundtrack though)

Street Fighter

George of the Jungle

I am sure there are more but that is all I can think of at the moment. X-men and Spiderman were pretty good adaptations of our comic book/comic/toy. But you get the gist. More bad adaptations than good ones. Only one in the middle was Resident Evil. It was ok. Lord only knows how Hollywood would screwup a Robotech live action movie... :(

Posted
Once again I think I'll wait for A7's choices before I make mine. B) :lol:

Well, since you asked...

aria.jpg

Aria Giovanni as the Baronness

tera.jpg

Tera Patrick as Lady Jae

jasmin.jpg

Jasmin St. Claire as Scarlett

mikolee.jpg

Miko Lee as Jinx

BTW, what was Cover Girl's hair color again?

Posted

Covergirl was a brunette. I like your gI joe Movie A7. Rocco could be Duke. Jenna Jameson could be Zarana.

Posted (edited)
I thought that Cover Girl was a redhead too.  The way that Tera Patrick looks I think that she should play the Barroness.

Perhaps, but Aria has the perfect body to play Baronness. Tera with the glasses looks pretty close, but she's kind of skinny for the role.

So Cover Girl is a brunette. Perhaps I'll cast Stephanie Swift to play the role. (Sorry, I don't have a pic of her. Noriko Takaya should have one in handy.)

Edited by areaseven
Posted

Knowing Hollywood they will want Snakeeyes to talk, he's the most popular character and you can't put a big name actor in a mask and have him never speak. Thats why most of the X-men characters that should have masks or helmits don't because the actors need their faces shown. All they need to do is get a good stunt man to play him. But the whole concept of a non talking masked man being popular is beyond Hollywood's comprehension. Thats what worries me.

In fact the whole movie idea worries me. The chances of it being any good are really slim. Most of these licensed typed movies end up sucking. I know w all have visions of what it could be, but we will have to hope and pray that something cool will come to life.

As for casting, man, This movie doesn't need big names to muck up the works, it already has big names...The characters. Show me some actors, I mean good actors. When you start getting all these names invovled they start sucking the budget into their wallets. I'd rathers see good no-names fight hordes of cobras, than a few guys fight a few other guys.

Posted
Knowing Hollywood they will want Snakeeyes to talk, he's the most popular character and you can't put a big name actor in a mask and have him never speak. Thats why most of the X-men characters that should have masks or helmits don't because the actors need their faces shown. All they need to do is get a good stunt man to play him. But the whole concept of a non talking masked man being popular is beyond Hollywood's comprehension. Thats what worries me.

Whoa buddy but if your'e George Lucas you can cast a nobody liek Ray Park for Darth Maul and give him crap for lines.

Anyway most likely they might go with nobodys.

However I think Cobra Comander has to be a nobody with the real cobra commander/starscream voice over every thing.

Posted
Rocky and Bullwinkle

Tomb Raider

The Phantom

Hulk

He-man

Double Dragon

Mortal Kombat (has a kick @ss soundtrack though)

Street Fighter

George of the Jungle

You left out these titles:

Captain America

Fantastic Four

The Flintstones

Inspector Gadget

Josie and the Pussycats

Mr. Magoo

Scooby-Doo

Steel

Posted
Live action movie? Ummmmmm no. Unless I hear something in the effect of Larry Hama has his hand in it and he doesnt have restrictions, I am in no way gonna watch it. I mean, I like GI Joe but dont deface it. Hollywood has screwed up wayyyy too many movie adaptations.

As a big fan of Larry Hama's GI Joe work, I completely agree.

Posted
Knowing Hollywood they will want Snakeeyes to talk, he's the most popular character and you can't put a big name actor in a mask and have him never speak. Thats why most of the X-men characters that should have masks or helmits don't because the actors need their faces shown. All they need to do is get a good stunt man to play him. But the whole concept of a non talking masked man being popular is beyond Hollywood's comprehension. Thats what worries me.

I'd say that Boba Fett goes against that hypothesis, as he's one of the three most popular Star Wars characters. Of course, it was that popularity that got Lucas to stupidly put him into the prequel's storys, so I guess he doesn't understand it either. :(

Posted

While I'm in agreement with Apollo and whatnot, I might as well join in on the fun with some of my dream cast....

Elizabeth Hurley as the Baroness (hey, she's already got the accent)

Louis Gossett Jr. as (old) "Roadbock"? (Hey, he's a good actor, even if he's old and skinny)

Bruce Willis as "Beach Head" (He's the perfect smartass)

Ewan McGregor as "Mainframe" (don't know why, he just fits the role)

Rutger Hauer as "LowLight" (tell me HE doesn't match up... if you put a beard on him, he could be "Rock n' Roll")

Michael Biehn as "Flint" or (he's Hollywood's universal soldier)

Jackie Chan as "Quick Kick" (someone already said this, but the matchup would be great)

Nicholas Cage as "Dusty" (complete with Con-Air southern accent)

Cheech Marin as "Bazooka" (old, but he looks just like him)

Ozzy Osbourne as "Zartan" (but only if he uses his "singing" voice)

Tom Berringer as "General Hawk" (He's got the voice and the look)

Sgt. Slaughter as..... Sgt. Slaughter?????? ;)

Christopher Lloyd as "Doctor Mindbender" (He's good at doing strange roles, just shave his head)

just a couple ideas :) (and for the record, I thought the first Mortal Kombat movie was good)

Posted

Oh jeez I forgot about Sgt. Slaughter. :p Most likely if the movie came out it'll 1. Suck and 2. Be an american pride movie.

Posted

Everyone knows

Snake Eyes should be played by Barry Williams.

Richard Simmons as Cobra Commander.

Mr. T as Storm Shadow, " I'm a Ninja Fool!"

The Olsen twins as Tomat and Xamot.

If they treat the movie as a 'traditional war movie' with a touch your generic block buster action film it could quite entertaining (They would need me to write the first draft :p). But chances are it will be like street fighter with matrix special effects.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...