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Posted (edited)

I have spend the last few years developing a machine that increases tissue density in the body.. Muscular, tendon, ligament, and bone. As a result of this most of you (and women our age) will never have to worry about Osteoporosis.

bioDensity.com

I figure some of you will be interested. This thing will make you superhuman strong.

I have a licensing deal and am producing 1000 units in China right now.

Edited by Agent ONE
Posted
You changed the site?

I demand at least the return of that music.

The old site was sexy because I didn't have the clinical data. Now I do, and the results are steering the product to a purely medical direction. I mean Osteoporosis is a $60 billion industry, with no non-drug solution other than bioDensity.

Posted
The old site was sexy because I didn't have the clinical data. Now I do, and the results are steering the product to a purely medical direction. I mean Osteoporosis is a $60 billion industry, with no non-drug solution other than bioDensity.

See, I would have assumed that sentence would have ended something like, "with no non-drug solution other than ME!"

Posted

So with your machine little old ladies will build stronger bones and muscles? Excellent now we rock a bunch of little old ladies without breaking them.

Posted

Looking good A1, glad that the business is up and running well. And dude did you shave it off or did it fall out?

Posted
Looking good A1, glad that the business is up and running well. And dude did you shave it off or did it fall out?

Side effect of using his machine.

Posted
So all you're doing is pushing against an immovable object and that would make you stronger?

Yes, isometrics, but in a calculated range (You have to look at the cellular mechanics of a movement and determine maximum efficiencies... There actually is some movement, but not much.. Like my leg press is around 3 inches, but I contract against around 3000lbs for 10 seconds.

Posted
Looking good A1, glad that the business is up and running well. And dude did you shave it off or did it fall out?

It started getting thin 5 years ago, I wanted to see what my head would look like if I did shave it, tried it and I like it. Girls like it too, which I never would have thought.

I think it fits my personality better anyway. My secretary tells me before I looked like a country club jerk, she thinks I look more down to earth now.

Posted
It started getting thin 5 years ago, I wanted to see what my head would look like if I did shave it, tried it and I like it. Girls like it too, which I never would have thought.

*cough cough*

Posted
*cough cough*

Oh yes, DT gave me the idea. For this I owe him the left foot of a cuban hooker. I was planning on getting this to him about a year ago, but this has been more of a challenge to find than I thought.

Posted
Oh yes, DT gave me the idea. For this I owe him the left foot of a cuban hooker. I was planning on getting this to him about a year ago, but this has been more of a challenge to find than I thought.

I told you, Cuban hookers don't have left feet!

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Hmmm....has 3rd impact happened? Are we in an alternate dimension? Oh Large Hadron Collider activated.....

Posted
Hmmm....has 3rd impact happened? Are we in an alternate dimension? Oh Large Hadron Collider activated.....

We have a brief reprieve. This was just a test firing. The partical collisions don't start until October 21st. THEN we get sucked into black holes, converted to strange matter, and utterly annihilated by a "vacuum metastability event" all at once.

At least a VME will propagate close to the speed of light. We'll be dead before we know anything happened. On the downside, for anyone that isn't us... it'll take the entire universe out.

I pity the poor fools on the far side that will see it coming and be unable to stop it!

Posted

Call Gordon Freeman: some job needs to be done on Xen. Now.

Posted
We have a brief reprieve. This was just a test firing. The partical collisions don't start until October 21st. THEN we get sucked into black holes, converted to strange matter, and utterly annihilated by a "vacuum metastability event" all at once.

I know what song I'm going to have on "repeat" all day on the 21st...

Posted

Huh, so who will be responsible for Armageddon in 2012? HLC firing mishap? Arrival of Nibiru? :huh:

  • 1 month later...
Posted (edited)
I told you, Cuban hookers don't have left feet!

WTF! :lol: I was thinking 'hmmm, let me check out that Science and Technology thread for a change of pace.' So, I click on the direct link to page 21 and this is the first post I read. :wacko:

Edited by sharky
  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

A team of scientists will use a World War II-era plane to explore one of the last uncharted regions of Earth, in hopes of learning more about climate change.

Now...why oh why does this sound disturbingly familiar...? Oh yeah!

The higher sky, as we crossed the range, was surely vaporous and disturbed enough; and although I did not see the zenith, I can well imagine that its swirls of ice dust may have taken strange forms. Imagination, knowing how vividly distant scenes can sometimes be reflected, refracted, and magnified by such layers of restless cloud, might easily have supplied the rest—and, of course, Danforth did not hint any of these specific horrors till after his memory had had a chance to draw on his bygone reading. He could never have seen so much in one instantaneous glance.

At the time, his shrieks were confined to the repetition of a single, mad word of all too obvious source: "Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!"

Greaaat....so now I have to worry about Shoggoth protection?

Posted
Scientists hope to clone extinct species

Oh sure, they'll start off with some mice, then work their way up to a cute and cuddly woolly mammoth...but how long until some genius decides to clone a Velociraptor. You know..."just to see if they could do it."

All I know they are attempting to clone the Tazmanian tiger/devil/whatever it is and the bald eagle, I doubt the scientist will get enough funding for their own "Jurassic park".

If they want to clone something extreme, let them try cloning Chuck Norris, Armageddon will come when this happen. :ph34r:

Posted (edited)

The world will implode because the awesomeness of 2 Chuck Norris' can't be contained.

Aren't scientists already trying to genetically produce dinosaurs?

Edited by badboy00z
Posted

I heard things of this sort, yes, but it was 7 or 8 years ago, something like that, and no more info since...

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