areaseven

What if...a sci-fi film was made, and it was produced by The Asylum (Transmorphers, The Day the Earth Stopped) and John Travolta, written by Joe Eszterhas (Showgirls, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn), Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (Date/Epic/Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans), and directed by Uwe Boll and Roger Christian (Battlefield Earth)? And it starred Shaquille O'Neal and Hayden Christensen? Would the world implode in hell then?

Here's another bomb that hasn't been much talked about. Wild Wild West (1999). The original 1960 TV series was awesome, as it introduced James Bond elements into a Western. The theatrical remake, on the other hand, was a complete stink-fest. The talents of Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh were completely wasted here. You can put Will Smith in a bad movie and make it watchable; this one, however, is unwatchable with or without him. Robert Conrad, who played James West in the original series, boycotted this film over unpaid royalties and racial aspects in the storyline. I didn't see this film until a couple of years later, when a friend of mine kept telling me it was the worst film ever made. I told him there are worse movies out there, and we did a Bad Movie Challenge. He made me watch Wild Wild West, while I made him watch this: Inspector Gadget (1999). Now I'm not gonna explain this anymore, as many of you have probably seen it already and got your childhood raped severely. My friend is still traumatized by this movie to this day.

I mentioned this movie a couple or so years ago, but never really explained it well. So here it goes: Evilspeak (1981). When a young cadet is constantly being bullied at his military academy, he takes revenge by communicating with Satan through his computer at the basement of the academy's church and doing his evil deeds. Now, I vaguely remember majority of the film, as I saw it over 20 years ago. Probably the most memorable part is when the headmaster's secretary has the book of Satan on her desk and she fails to unlock it. Later on, while taking a shower, she is mauled to death by a couple of pigs.

Anyone here gonna watch the Iron Maiden: Flight 666 movie?

I think they both count as Sci-Fi, as their scripts defy logic - and the numerous re-writes of the ending of Jaws: The Revenge is the least of the problems.

Strangely enough, the theme song from that movie became a #1 hit in the Philippines and has been covered by a lot of local artists there.

You think Hayden is eye candy? Sorry, but I don't swing that way.

Originally released online as a concept design, the Corvette Z03 by Ugur Sahin Design will be put in a limited production of 100 units by Mallett Cars. And it ain't cheap. Aside from the cost of a donor Corvette C6 Z06, the bodywork is an extra $69,000. In addition, there's an additional cost for a choice of two engine modifications. $32,700 gets you the Dead Blow Hammer Conversion, which supercharges the LS7 V8 to 700 bhp, while $35,795 gets you the APS Twin Turbo Hammer Conversion, which gives you 999 bhp. Indeed, exclusivity does have a huge price to pay. Quote away, DJ Loe Kee! 2009 USD Mallett Corvette Z03

Anyone here have any thoughts on Jumper? That punk Hayden Christensen says a sequel or two may be in the works.

I still prefer the Pryde of the X-Men one-shot. Sure, the storyline is crap, but the animation quality is still superior to any other animated incarnation of X-Men. As for the '90s cartoon series, it's only memorable for four words: "I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch!"

Dude, that was an awesome movie. Never mind that it was campy (as it was written by Lorenzo Semple, who penned the '60s Batman TV series) and the fact that Sam J. Jones' dialogue was dubbed by someone else, but it had one of the most awesome soundtracks ever recorded.

How bad was the Wing Commander movie? I've never seen it, and I'm not gonna spend money on renting it.

It's supposedly gonna be a coin-toss between Nimoy and Frank Welker.

For the most part, majority of Verhoeven's works are crap, but you have to admit that RoboCop is one of the best sci-fi films ever made. If you want to talk about worst director, how about Roger Christian? He forced most of you to tilt your head sideways while watching Battlefield Earth.

Boll is worse, as he's actually being funded by the German government. The Asylum is just producing movies out of their own pockets.

Here are some more car pictures for DJ Loe Kee to quote. 2009 FAB Design Mercedes-Benz SLR Desire

Okay, that's just downright cruel. Let's hope no one calls social welfare services on him for that. He should have them watch Steel instead.

To celebrate their 20th anniversary, German tuner Novitec unveiled their limited-edition supercar. The Novitec TuLesto is a restyled Ferrari F430 with a twin-supercharged 4.4 liter V8 that generates 777 bhp and 536 lb-ft torque. Its curb weight of 2,778 lbs give it a ratio of 3.6 lbs per bhp. Acceleration from 0-100 kph takes 3.4 seconds and its top speed is 217 mph. Only 11 units will be made, making it more exclusive than the Lamborghini Reventón. 2009 Novitec TuLesto

For those who feel nostalgic, Red Octane and Activision will release Guitar Hero: Smash Hits, which includes 48 songs from the first four Guitar Hero releases (I-III plus Encore: Rocks the 80s). Unlike the old releases, all songs will be original master recordings and will feature bass, drum and vocal tracks so four players will try their guts out on "Through the Fire and Flames." Unfortunately, "Iron Man" did not make the set list. Guitar Hero: Smash Hits

Yeah, and Uwe Boll should be hired to direct it.

There were a lot of hot chicks in that film - even the one who got her head in a vat of liquid nitrogen. But that's about it. Suffice to say, that was the only Friday the 13th movie I've ever seen, and it wasn't by choice (I got dragged into it by a group of friends).

Seeing that The Punisher never got a sequel but a couple of reboots, how would you rank the three films from best to worst? I'd try to rank them myself, but I've only seen the Dolph Lundgren version.

Here's another sci-fi atrocity no one's bothered to talk about: Jason X (2002). While Freddy vs. Jason was in development hell, the producers decided to send Jason Voorhees to space. Surprisingly, he didn't bump into the Leprechaun on his way.

EDIT: This is a thread about Terminator Salvation, not The Terminators. So stop quoting The Terminators poster already.

Ready for another stinker? The Time Machine (2002). Guy Pearce was an awesome actor. He and Russell Crowe made L.A. Confidential a crime thriller classic. His performance as an amnesiac in Memento was completely unforgettable. So how did it all go wrong for him? He starred in this overbudgeted, underscripted box office flop that was directed by Simon Wells (great grandson of H.G. Wells). After years of storyboarding and directing animated features such as An American Tail II: Fievel Goes West, Balto and The Prince of Egypt, Wells wanted a crack on directing a live-action feature. Of course, it all went terribly wrong. The storyline was crap, the acting was crap and even at 96 minutes, it felt like three dragging hours. Since this film's release, Wells returned to doing storyboards for animated features such as Shrek 2 and Madagascar. Pearce, on the other hand, hadn't done much other than his acclaimed performances in The Count of Monte Cristo and The Proposition. If there's one reason to build a time machine, it's to go back and erase this movie from existence.